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Learn many of these vital expressions in this episode of Luke’s English Podcast, one of the fastest growing English language learning podcasts online.

Below you will see all the phrases which I teach in this episode. Thanks for listening. Please make a donation if you can.

Social English:

1. Hello:
Alright?
-Alright
How’s it going?
-fine thanks
-not bad
-pretty good
-could be worse
What are you up to? / What have you been up to? / What’s new?
-nothing really
-not much
-this and that
-same as normal/usual
-the same old thing really
–how about you?
How’re things? / How’s things?
-fine thanks
How are you getting on?
-fine thanks

2. Invitations:
Are you up to anything later?
-not much, no
(Do you) want to come to a party?
I’m going to a party if you’d like to come
Do you fancy coming to a party later?
-sounds good
-yeah, sure
-why not
-yeah alright
-I can’t make it
-I’m doing something

3. Goodbye:
See you later
See you in a bit
See ya
Take care
-you too
Cheers
Bye
Catch up with you soon
Keep in touch
Say “hi” to John for me, will you?

4. Leaving:
I’m off
I’d better be off
I’ve got to go
I’m going to chip/trap/scoot
I’m going to make like a tree, and ‘leaf’/'leave’
I’m going to make like a banana, and ‘split’
Have a good evening
-you too
See you tomorrow
-see ya
Take care
-you too
Have a good weekend
-you too! bye!

5. Other things:
Sorry
-that’s alright
PLEASE
THANK YOU
-you’re welcome
-that’s okay
Could you open to the window for me please?
-sure
-yes
-certainly
You couldn’t open the window for me by any chance, could you?
-sure
-certainly
-yes
Have you got the time?
You don’t happen to have the time by any chance do you?
-yes, it’s 4.30
-yes, it’s just gone ten past
Would you like something to drink?
-yes please
-no thanks
-No, I’m fine thanks
-No, you’re alright
Can I help you (at all)?
-no I’m just looking thanks
Do you mind if I smoke?
-No, go ahead!
-Yes, I do mind actually. This is a no-smoking area.
Let’s get started shall we?
-yes, okay
-good idea
Can I just squeeze past?
exCUSE meE!
Cheers x3
Sorry I’m late
What?
Pardon?
What did you say?
Sorry, what was that?
Bless you
-thanks
Oh come ON!
I need the toilet
I think I’m going to throw up
Put the money in the bag!
Hands up
Follow that car
step on it!
Get down!
Get out of there!
It’s gonna blow!
It’s showtime!
We’ve got company!
I’ll be back
off you go
You’ve gotta be kidding me!
For Christ’s sake John!
Get out of here!
How YOU doin?
What’s the matter with you?
Gimme a break god damn it!

6. Good night:
Right, I’m off to bed
Right, I’m going to hit the sack
Good night
Sleep well
-you too
Sweet dreams
Mind the bed bugs don’t bite

Morning
Afternoon
Evening

That’s it. Now watch these funny videos of Hollywood cliches such as “IT’S SHOWTIME!” and “GET OUT OF THERE!”

Here is some of the language which you hear in this episode. Listen to hear me explaining some of it and giving examples.

Enjoy the episode and I hope you find it useful.

VOCABULARY AND EXPRESSIONS FROM THIS EPSIODE:

Question 1: Which is better – British English or American English?
-it’s the correct form of English
-so all the Americans are getting it wrong?
-they can speak how they like, it doesn’t really bother me
-they can spell ‘colour’ however the hell they like, and they do goddammit
-since then we’ve changed
-why would they have changed?
-let Dad clear this up
-there’s a strong feeling that American English is sloppy
-I’m saying that there is a view, but it’s not logical
-it’s two cultures divided by a common language
-I reckon British people are just snobbish
-they corrupt it and bastardize it
-the only thing that bugs me is when Americans tell me that I’m doing it wrong
-they’re basically just in-bred redneck cowboys, that’s what you think
-there’s no such thing as a set language
-American culture has been built on enterprise, individuality
-and guns
-and go getting
-and go getting guns
-let’s go get some guns!
-the culture back home is precision precision precision
-do something pared down
-precisely, not vague

Question 2: Should you give money to homeless people?
-they’re probably on drugs
-what I prefer to do is give it to an organisation
-I’d rather give it to Shelter (a charity)
-I don’t have a definitive point of view
-who am I to deny this guy his can of beer if he’s down and out, if he wants to scav a quid off me and I’m feeling flush that day, why not?
-we all have this dilemma

Question 3: If a tree falls in the forest and there’s nobody there, does it make a noise?

Question 4: Why don’t the English learn another language? Why are we bad at learning languages?
-stop talking about the bloody empire
-let’s not get caught up in some sort of French grammatical debate

Question 5: Is it ever justifiable to commit an act of murder?
-manslaughter
-mitigating circumstances
-does that count as murder?
-to take someone’s life
-BIG ARGUMENT BETWEEN LUKE, JAMES AND DAD!!! -Are personal morality and the law the same thing?
-are you talking in terms of the burglar?
-it wasn’t a life or death situation – he went on a revenge mission
-battered him so that he was brain damaged

Question 6: Is the music of the 1960s better than the music of current times?
-no contest
-it’s personal opinion
-you can measure it by public opinion
-imagine a survey
-an imaginary survey is not evidence
-I don’t think it’s cut and dry
-there’s all sorts of music about now which would have blown people’s minds

Topics in the speaking game: shopping, The Royal Family, reading books, bird watching

That’s it for now!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF THE PODCAST

In this episode I talk to my brother (James) about Christmas, and plenty of other things too!
*Caution – this episode contains some rude language and swearing *
This is a natural conversation between my brother and me. We talk mainly about Christmas and what it means to us as Londoners in England, UK. We also talk about other things as we naturally get sidetracked during the conversation.
The intention of the conversation is to explain what Christmas really means to us. Some of the things we say are intended to be humourous, which means sometimes we use irony, but most of the time we are being serious.
It might be difficult for you to follow everything we say, but we explain many things while talking. I have made a list of vocabulary and expressions that we use in the conversation. You will find this list of vocabulary and definitions below. Many of the definitions come from this website: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/, and some of the definitions are written by me.

I recommend that you check the vocabulary and expressions in your own dictionary too, and look for examples of the expressions online by googling them. Listen to this podcast several times to really catch all the expressions and to listen to them being used in the natural context of our conversation. Then try to use the expressions yourself, in your own conversations or just while practising English alone.

Please donate to help me with my payments to PodOmatic.com (I am now a heavy bandwidth user – I use over 3TB of bandwidth per month, and that is expensive)

VOCABULARY & DEFINITIONS:
Here is a list of vocabulary used in the episode, with definitions:
I am slowly adding transcripts to all my episodes and I am storing them at my blog: http://teacherluke.wordpress.com/
There is no transcript for this episode yet but please feel free to add one! Email it to me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Here is the vocabulary & definitions:

cold call
n.
A telephone call or visit made to someone who is not known or not expecting contact, often in order to sell something.
cold-call v. a cold caller (person) cold calling
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

bunged up
adjective clogged, stuffed-up, blocked up, jammed “My nose is all bunged up.”
Collins Thesaurus of the English Language – Complete and Unabridged 2nd Edition. 2002 © HarperCollins Publishers 1995, 2002

faux pas [ˌfəʊ ˈpɑː (French) fo pɑ]
n pl faux pas [ˌfəʊ ˈpɑːz (French) fo pɑ]
a social blunder or indiscretion
[from French: false step]
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

urine
n urine [ˈjuːrin]
the waste fluid passed out of the body of animals from the bladder.
adj urinary
a urinary infection.
v urinate [ˈjuərineit]
to pass urine from the bladder.
Kernerman English Multilingual Dictionary © 2006-2010 K Dictionaries Ltd.

cliche
n.
1. A trite or overused expression or idea: “Even while the phrase was degenerating to cliché in ordinary public use . . . scholars were giving it increasing attention” (Anthony Brandt).
2. A person or character whose behavior is predictable or superficial: “There is a young explorer . . . who turns out not to be quite the cliche expected” (John Crowley).
These nouns denote an expression or idea that has lost its originality or force through overuse: a short story weakened by clichés; the old bromide that we are what we eat; uttered the commonplace “welcome aboard”; a eulogy full of platitudes; a once-original thought that has become a truism.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

tinsel
n.
1. Very thin sheets, strips, or threads of a glittering material used as a decoration.
2. Something sparkling or showy but basically valueless: the tinsel of parties and promotional events.
adj.
1. Made of or decorated with tinsel.
2. Gaudy, showy, and basically valueless.
tr.v. tin·seled or tin·selled, tin·sel·ing or tin·sel·ling, tin·sels
1. To decorate with or as if with tinsel: tinsel a Christmas tree.
2. To give a false sparkle to.
[Middle English tineseile, from Old French estincelle, spangle, spark; see stencil.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

bau·ble
n.
1. A small, round decoration used on a christmas tree

cul-de-sac
Noun 1. cul de sac – a passage with access only at one end
cul, dead end
passage – a way through or along which someone or something may pass
2. cul de sac – a street with only one way in or out
blind alley, dead-end street, impasse
thoroughfare – a public road from one place to another
Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

stuck-up
adj
Informal conceited, arrogant, or snobbish
stuck-upness n
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

football hooligan: http://www.google.co.uk/images?client=safari&rls=en&q=define%3A+football+hooligan&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&redir_esc=&ei=YB7rTpHFNMGb8gOR742gCg&oi=image_result_group&sa=X

asking for it
-verb
this means that someone wants to have a fight
(this expression is used to justify a voilent act – e.g. “he was asking for it!”)

the east-end
-noun
the east-end means the east-end of London – an area in the east of London

the Ritz
-noun
a very expensive hotel/restaurant/tea room in central London

housing estate
-noun
a residential area where the houses were all planned and built at the same time, by the local council

lin·go
n. pl. lin·goes
1. Language that is unintelligible or unfamiliar.
2. The specialized vocabulary of a particular field or discipline: spoke to me in the lingo of fundamentalism.

geezer [giːzə]
n Informal
a man
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

common sense
n
plain ordinary good judgment; sound practical sense
adj common-sense also common-sensical
inspired by or displaying sound practical sense
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

grounded [ˈgraʊndɪd]
adj
sensible and down-to-earth; having one’s feet on the ground
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

lev·el·head·ed
adj.
Characteristically self-composed and sensible.
level·headed·ness n.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

(get) carried away
Definition: become too emotionally involved in something
Explanation: Used to show exageration by someone else
Examples: Please pay attention and don’t get carried away. – I know you love Chopin, but if you get carried away you will not play all the right notes.

solid
-adj
reliable, safe, dependable
“John is a really solid guy, he never lets me down”

en·clave
n.
1. A country or part of a country lying wholly within the boundaries of another.
2. A distinctly bounded area enclosed within a larger unit: ethnic enclaves in a large city.
[French, from Old French enclaver, to enclose, from Vulgar Latin *inclvre : Latin in-, in; see en-1 + Latin clvis, key.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

glossy [ˈglɒsɪ]
adj glossier, glossiest
1. smooth and shiny
2. superficially attractive
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

gritty [ˈgrɪtɪ]
adj -tier, -tiest
1. courageous; hardy; resolute
2. of, like, or containing grit
grittily adv
grittiness n
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

down-to-earth
adj
sensible; practical; realistic
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

it’s bound to be Latin = it must be Latin, I really expect it to be Latin

take stock
1. To take an inventory of all the stock in a shop’s warehouse
2. To think about yourself and things you have done in the past

a new year’s resolution = a promise to yourself for the next year, e.g. “I’m going to give up smoking” or “I’m going to go to the gym more often”

crumb [krʌm]
n
a small fragment of bread, cake, or other baked foods
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

psychic abilities
-plural noun phrase
abilities which allow you to do psychic things such as mind reading

skip to the end
-verb phrase
we use this expression when someone is telling a boring story and you want them to ‘jump’ or ‘skip’ quickly to the conclusion at the end of the story (it is used in an ironic way – my brother James says it as a joke, like “this is boring!” – but he’s just joking)

mince pie = pie containing mincemeat
pie = dish baked in pastry-lined pan often with a pastry top
© 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

staple food: http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/staple+food

moving (swiftly) on
-verb phrase
“move on” “let’s move on” “moving on” – use these expressions to move to the next point in a discussion, meeting or presentation
“moving swiftly on” – swiftly means quickly. “Moving swiftly on” is a fixed expression which means “let’s quickly move on to the next point”

“I lost it” – to lose it
-verb phrase
this means to lose your mind, go crazy, become very angry

“my suspicions were aroused”
-collocation
to arouse suspicion – this means that something made you feel suspicious
e.g. Sherlock Holmes would say this if he saw some evidence – “my suspicions were aroused by the bloodstains on the floor”

“there’s evidence to suggest that…” – you can use this expression to support your comments with evidence – you don’t have to name the evidence, “there’s evidence to suggest that spending a lot of time playing computer games can be bad for your health”

gadget [ˈgædʒɪt]
n
1. a small mechanical device or appliance
2. any object that is interesting for its ingenuity or novelty rather than for its practical use
[perhaps from French gâchette lock catch, trigger, diminutive of gâche staple]
gadgety adj
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

“I’m welling up here”
to well up
-phrasal verb
when emotion rises inside you and you begin to cry – tears come to your eyes
“At the end of the movie I started welling up”

lean
adj. lean·er, lean·est
1. Not fleshy or fat; thin.
2. Containing little or no fat.

deer
n deer [diə]
a kind of large, grass-eating animal, the male of which sometimes has antlers, “a herd of deer”, e.g. Bambi.
Kernerman English Multilingual Dictionary © 2006-2010 K Dictionaries Ltd.

blow your nose
-verb phrase
to clear your nose by blowing air out – it pushes out the snot/mucus into a tissue

snot
-noun
green or clear mucus which comes from your nose when you have a cold

mucus
-noun
snot (see above)

sniff / sniffing
-verb
to pull air into your nose quickly in order to stop snot coming out

“the commercialisation of Christmas”
commercialisation
-noun
the act of commercializing something; involving something in commerce; “my father considered the commercialization of Christmas to be a sacrilege”; “the government tried to accelerate the commercialization of this development”; “both companies will retain control over the commercialization of their own products”
commercialization
exploitation, development – the act of making some area of land or water more profitable or productive or useful; “the development of Alaskan resources”; “the exploitation of copper deposits”
© 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

bombard
-verb [bɒmˈbɑːd] (tr)
1. (Military) to attack with concentrated artillery fire or bombs
2. to attack with vigour and persistence, “the boxer bombarded his opponent with blows to the body”
3. to attack verbally, esp with questions, “the journalists bombarded her with questions”
4. (Physics / General Physics) Physics – to direct high-energy particles or photons against (atoms, nuclei, etc.) especially to produce ions or nuclear transformations
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

stingy
adj -gier, -giest
1. unwilling to spend or give
2. insufficient or scanty
[C17 (perhaps in the sense: ill-tempered): perhaps from stinge, dialect variant of sting]
stingily adv
stinginess n
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

miser
n
1. a person who keeps money or possessions and never gives things to people
2. selfish and unhappy person
[from Latin: wretched]

a pain (in the neck)
-noun
someone or something that is very annoying
e.g. “this rain is such a pain in the neck”, “Christmas shopping can be a real pain when the shopping centre is busy”

bump into people
-verb phrase
to accidently walk into people, to collide with someone (this phrase can also mean that you meet someone by coincidence)

go out of fashion (and go out of style)
to become unfashionable; to become obsolete. “That kind of furniture went out of style years ago.” “I hope this kind of thing never goes out of fashion.”
Dictionary of Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

wind (something) up
-phrasal verb
to end or finish something “The meeting just wound up, so let’s go to lunch now.” “We should be able to wind the discussion up by 10 o’clock.”
Cambridge Dictionary of Idioms © Cambridge University Press 2003.

a love-hate relationship
-noun
a relationship which combines both love and hatred
“I have a love hate relationship with Christmas – I love some things about it, but I hate other things”
“Jack and Sarah have a love hate relationship – they love each other but they can’t live together”

“it can be a bit grating”
grating
adj
1. (of sounds) harsh and rasping
2. annoying; irritating
e.g. “The sound of that chainsaw is really grating” “the sound of that baby crying is really grating”
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

take the mickey / take the piss: http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/take+the+mickey

SOME CHRISMAS SONGS – WITH LYRICS!
Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas Time?

Wham – Last Christmas

Slade – Merry Christmas Everybody

Wizzard – I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day

The 12 Days of Chrismtas (no lyrics – but pictures)

The Pogues – Fairytale of New York

John & Yoko – Merry Christmas (War is Over) *not the original recording I’m afraid*

This is a short clip from the soap opera Eastenders, which my brother and I talked about a couple of times

Thanks for listening – please donate some money to help me continue making episodes for Luke’s English Podcast. Merry Christmas everyone!

TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPIDSODE – CLICK HERE

Obviously, this is just a virtual fight, not a real one. It’s just a funny topic of conversation, and a light-hearted topic for this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

In this episode you will listen to:
1. A stand-up comedian from Canada (Tony Law) talking about a fight between a bear and a shark
2. I will explain vocabulary and jokes that Tony Law makes
3. You’ll listen to some expert opinions on who would win the fight

So, let’s think about this fight between a big bear and a dangerous shark. How would you organise the fight? Where would you do it? which animal is the strongest? How would the bear manage to grab the shark? Would it bite it or hit it with its paws? Would the bear be able to swim in the water? Wouldn’t it just want to escape? How about the shark? Would it be able to swim in shallow water? How many times would it need to bite the bear? Wouldn’t the two animals just try to escape? WHAT THE HELL WOULD HAPPEN???

This episode is just a bit of fun! Obviously, I hope no-one really tries to do organise a fight between two animals. It’s just a VIRTUAL fight, not a REAL one!

1. Here is the transcript for Tony Law’s bit of stand up comedy.
Now, another fun thing to do if you’ve got the money and you’ve got the time it’s well worth your while if you could organise yourself a fight between a black bear and a shark. Now, what you’re gonna need to get started up is a shallow little wading pool, ok? Now, any old wading pool will do but i prefer one with aluminum siding, or aluminium if you will. And most of you do.
Get that nice and set up. Now, this is important, make sure you put sand bags around the outside of it because you’re going to put a lot of weight in there okay? All right.
Now, some of you are ahead of me. You’re thinking, you’re saying Tone we’re going to need to fill that up with water aren’t we? Yes we are. So you introduce your garden hose or weirdly long tap, I don’t know your homes. I don’t know how much you like DIY. So, so you get that nice and full of water and now you want to, you’re going to want to introduce your shark, aren’t you? Yeah, of course, yeah. So, now you’re going to need a buddy for this. Always buddy up because sharks, they’re heavy aren’t they. So you get your shark and bring him in, right, because I use a tiger shark for this, they’re just, they’re more bitey. They’re more bitey and it helps the process along.
So you put him in there, let him acclimatise himself. Now that won’t take very long because that’s a small pool, and he’s a big fish, isn’t he? So, get him in there, right, let him acclimatise himself, right. And then you go into the house and you get your paints. Oil paints are the best for this. And you come out and you paint that shark up to look like a salmon.
“You know honey, we should do more dangerous art! -I know!” Now you’re going to want to introduce your black bear, right? Listen, hey, once you’ve done it my way once, you can change it up. Use any kind of bear you want. Polar bear, grizzly. First time, try it with a black bear, okay? So you bring in your black bear. He’s a bear isn’t he, and he’s going to look down and that’s definitely going to be the largest salmon he’s ever seen in his life. It’s not going to stop him, he’s just going to go “Oh, all my bear Christmases have come at once”. He’s going to look down and he’s just going to go “Mmmm, that’s a big motherfuckin’ salmon right there. Shit! I’m gonna eat that fuckin’ salmon right up! Mmm, that is a tasty looking big motherfuckin’ salmon there. I said what I said. MMM, I’m gonna eat that salmon up because I built up an appetite, with the ladies, mmm. “
Now listen, you get your black bear from anywhere in the world, you don’t need to make his voice quite so racist. Smarten up! You know, be more xenophobic about it. Get yourself a Russian bear, “Oh boy look at the size of that salmon I can’t wait to eat it”. You know, or a Polish bear, “Oh boy I sound exactly like Russian bear. I can’t wait to eat it.” You know, or get yourself a Chinese bear… I’m not going there am I? [I'm not going to do that accent] Doesn’t matter how good you think your Chinese voice is, it isn’t. It never is, is it? I mean there’s some accents you just stay away from, aren’t there? You know, like Chinese and all of it’s affiliates. Ooh, don’t go there. Those aren’t for you, unless you’re Chinese or, you know, someone in your family is Chinese. You know, then knock yourself out. Same thing, Indian sub-continent. Ooh, danger lurks there. Don’t do those accents. Unless you’re indian, you know, or your parents are, I don’t know. We’ve all got a white friend who’s done his Indian accent, haven’t we, at some point in your life. It’s never worked out has it? Artistically or morally. It’s [always] like “oh, he’s doing the voice, ohhh.” Starts out in Trinidad & Tobago, moves over to Wales for a bit, and fucks off up to Sunderland for a while. Ohh, while everyone feels a bit dirty, and needing a bath. Ohh, but you don’t say anything do you? He won’t learn, will he? If you say something, he’ll never learn. He’ll only learn by everyone going “mmmmmm”.
But he just sees it and he goes straight in with that left paw doesn’t he? Ah, big mistake black bear. ARR! Pulls back a stump. That’s not going to heal in a hurry. But like I said, brave, noble creature and he things “I’ve got one good paw left. I’m going in”. Second mistake black bear, Ahh! Pulls back a stump. Now he’s fucked isn’t he? Now we’ve got a black bear with no front paws. He’s losing a lot of blood but luckily he spent some time in the Moscow state circus so he can balance on his hind two feet, and if there’s a little kiddies bicycle around he can probably just wheel around on that too. He’s not going to have the glorious victory he was hoping for now. Now he’s gotta like do little nips in the shark’s ass. Just little nips. Little nips. And I wish there was an exciting way for that to finish but it takes about eight hours for the shark to bleed to death.

Here is the expert opinion from www.en.allexperts.com
Wild Animals/Great White Shark vs Grizzly Bear Expert: Jonathan Wright – 8/3/2005
Question About 50 of my friends and I have been debating whether a Great White Shark or Grizzly Bear would win in a fight in 4-6 feet of water for about a year now. It always comes up at bars or trips, etc. Perhaps an expert like yourself could provide some insight or facts about which we could further debate this issue. Of course, we would all also love to hear your opinion on which animal would win. Thanks in advance.

Get the answer below
Answer:

Dear Justin
Thanks for your question. I must admit that it would be extremely unlikely for a grizzly bear to come into contact with a great white shark. Generally speaking, animals do not tend to have fights with members of other species. If an animal is not a potential prey, there is little reason to waste any time on it. I think that the bear and shark would try to avoid one another, rather than launching into a fight. If the bear could escape onto land, or the shark into deeper water, they would do so.

I have looked up various websites. Several people have discussed the outcome of a fight between a bear and shark and there are supporters on both sides. There is even a cartoon of a brown bear holding a shark aloft.
http://myoldkyhome.blogspot.com/2005/06/bear-vs-shark.html states that if the bear couldn’t stand up, it would lose in water.
http://www.cordmag.com/002may2004/tenquestionsshins.html also thinks the shark would win, as the bear’s claws couldn’t get hold of the shark. http://www.ambrosiasw.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t95776.html gives various ideas about the fight.

One correspondent states that a shark wouldn’t have a big enough mouth to swallow a bear in shallow water. Some correspondents favour the bear, because of its teeth, jaws and claws. The bear can move its claws and mouth independently from the rest of the body. One suggestion is that if the bear got on top of the shark and held on, it could scoop out its brain, using a massive swipe of a claw; a counter-argument is that this isn’t normal bear behaviour. One correspondent thinks a grizzly bear would have enough strength to beat a mako shark in shallow water, with blunt force blows crushing the shark. The bear is also a good enough swimmer to have some chance of beating a shark in shallow water.

Other correspondents favour the shark, which is bigger, heavier, faster and stronger in water than the bear is. It could use its great jaw strength and biting power to sever the bear’s limb, leading to the bear dying from blood loss. It also has tough skin, covered with sharp scales. The bear couldn’t survive the shark’s initial assault. http://www.yptenc.org.uk/docs/factsheets/animal_facts/great_white_shark.html mentions details of a shark attack. As it opens its mouth to attack, it raises its flexible snout out of the way and the jaws, which are loosely attached to the skull, are pushed out as the mouth opens which puts the teeth into the biting position. There is immense power behind the jaws and the teeth are adapted for shearing or sawing flesh as a shark clamps its jaws on its victim and throws its head from side to side until a mouthful is torn from the body. A modest-sized 4.8 metre (16 foot) great white shark can bite with a pressure of 3 tonnes per square centimetre, and will tear out a chunk of flesh measuring 28 by 33 centimetres. Sharks usually catch weakly and sick animals, so would be unlikely to attack a healthy bear. It may attack in shallow water, rushing in before a victim realises what is going on.
http://www.newenglandsharks.com/N.ENG.%20whites.htm states that white sharks are often found in shallow water and seem to prefer eating marine mammals instead of fish, especially if the prey is found close to shore. In your scenario, the depth of the water is important, also whether the animals are trapped in the pool or whether they can escape. Generally speaking, the bear would win if a fight took place on land, while the shark would probably win if the fight took place in deep water. A fight in shallow water could go either way, although the bear would try to escape onto land, if possible. It would only be able to swim for a limited period of time and would be in danger of drowning if the shark dragged it under the water. The bear could hit the shark on the nose (if it thought this was a good idea), but otherwise the shark is a tougher animal and, I think, would be more likely to win. There is a strong possibility, though, of a double death, with the bear drowning and the shark suffocating;
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=521266 states that a shark slowly suffocates unless there is a stream of water over the gills.

Looking at all the evidence, I think that the shark is more likely to win if the fight can only take place in water i.e. if the bear cannot drag the shark onto land. I think that, if land were available, the bear wouldn’t enter the water in the first place, or would try to escape from the water as soon as possible. A great white shark is a totally different issue compared to a salmon. While the bear could use its claws to punch the shark’s nose or gouge out flesh, the shark’s teeth are more powerful and, if either animal lost any of their teeth, the shark has lots of spare sets, while if an adult bear loses its teeth, these are lost for ever. The strength, biting power and speed of the shark in water would probably give it an advantage against the bear in most situations. While the bear could win, and does have many supporters in this prospective fight, I think that the shark is more likely to be the victor. I only hope that this fight is only done on a virtual level and isn’t staged for the amusement of bloodthirsty people. I hope this helps you and your colleagues. All the best.
Jonathan

Questioner’s Rating Rating(1-10) Knowledgeability = 10 Clarity of Response = 10 Politeness = 10 Comment Thanks a ton, it was the best help I could get!

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Watch the video here:

Transcript here:

UK Royal Family opinions – English Interviews in London

TRANSCRIPT – What do people think of the UK Royal Family (Part 1)

Some words and expressions are defined at the bottom of this page.

Man wearing a tie and sunglasses
[This man is originally from Wales but now spends his time in London, Wales and Vancouver Canada. He speaks with an RP accent, without strong regional pronunciation. He comes across as quite posh, well spoken and well educated]
Luke: Right, I’m asking people about the Royal Family today
Man: Yes
Luke: So what do you think? Good thing? Bad thing? Bad thing? Good thing?
Man: Are you talking about the family or the institution of the monarchy?
Luke: Well, let’s start with the institution of the monarchy
Man: Fabulous
Luke: Yes
Man: Can’t imagine why anyone would want to elect some super-annuated politician, as head of state
Luke: Ok, alright, so what about the family then, as people
Man: Well, families are families, we all have problems
Luke: Yes, yes, ok. Umm, alright, do you have a favourite or a least favourite member of the Royal Family?
Man: Well the Queen herself, obviously.
Luke: Obviously?
Man: Obviously
Luke: Why exactly?
Man: Because I’ve been… As long as I’ve been alive, pretty well, not quite… I was born in her grandfather’s reign but only just. So I survived her father’s reign, and he survived… me, and the war, we survived together. But the Queen has been around while I’ve been an adult.
Luke: What do you think of Charles? Do you think he’ll be a … do you think he’ll become King?
Man: Of course he’ll become King, there isn’t any other way! You start thinking about that then what are you doing? You’re electing a president. Thank you very much, no.

Couple in Green Park
[The young man is from London but has been travelling in India for a few years. The girl is from Sheffield in the north of England and recently moved down to London. They both speak without strong regional accents, so they speak with standard RP accents]
Luke: I’m asking people about the Royal Family. So what do you think? Are they a bad thing or a good thing? Good thing or a bad thing? What do you think?
Girl: Good thing.
Luke: Yeah? Yeah? What makes you say that?
Girl: It’s nice to have a figurehead. They don’t really have much power but they do a lot of good for charity. That’s nice.
Luke: Yeah, yeah, ok. What do you think?
Young man: Yeah, it’s nice to have, like, erm… Like there’s the stereotypical. like, English image is always really good, and you know, like, drinking cups of tea and bowler hats and like, I think the Royal Family is definitely part of that. I think that’s really really nice to have. It’s a bit of a drain on our economy, but in the general scheme of things we probably spend a lot of money on other things as well.
Luke: That image of people, sort of, erm, drinking cups of tea and being very posh and everything, is that really what we’re like?
Young man: No, not at all but it’s great to have the stereotype there.
Luke: Really?
Young man: I think it’s a really nice thing to have. Well, like, I think as Britain becomes a multi-cultural nation like I think we have been for so long now, like, the true British identity is definitely lost. But I think, you know, just to still have part of it there is still really good.
Luke: Yeah, ok. Do you have a favourite or least favourite member of the Royal Family?
Young man: I don’t know. I actually really like Prince Harry. I think he’s a really nice guy. I’ve seen a few interviews with him recently and he comes across like a really, you know, pleasant chap.
Luke: Yeah, yeah yeah.
Young man: But, err, least favourite.
Girl: Don’t have a least… I dunno
Young man: I don’t know them well enough, to be honest.
Luke: What do you think of Kate?
Young man: I have no opinions of her. I think she’s, you know, married rich, like, well done.

Man in reddish-pinkish-purple T-shirt
[This guy comes from Leeds so he has a slight Leeds accent (Yorkshire). Leeds is in the north of England, so he pronounces the /a:/ sound differently - listen to my podcast about British Accents for more information on that ]
Luke: so what do you think of the Royal Family?
Man: Err, they’re all right, you know, they’re they’re sort of, just a figurehead err body, aren’t they, really. I don’t think they do much apart from cost us lots of money, and bring in tourists. So that’s good I suppose. The fact that tourists come here just to see, just over there, the Buckingham Palace, the Royal Family, yeah.
Luke: Would you keep them? Or would you get rid of them?
Man: Errrrm, I think yeah, I think we should keep them but I think that, I don’t know, I’m just amazed and confused as to why the media seems to love them so much, I mean, yeah.
Luke: Who’s your favourite Royal?
Man: Err, (laughs)
Luke: or least favourite
Man: Least favourite? My least favourite Royal. I don’t really like Prince Charles. Yeah. I dunno why, I just, I dunno, I wouldn’t like to think of him as being King. I think they should just skip. I think he should just do the honest thing and not, not, not accept the throne, when, when his time comes. Yeah.
Luke: Thank you. Thanks very much.
Man: That’s alright. That’s alright, ok.

Woman and man from Canada
[This couple come from Quebec in Canada. Their first language is French, so they (she) have French/Canadian accents.]
Luke: So what do you think of the Royal Family?
Woman: The what family?
Man: The Royal Family
Luke: The Royal Family. The people who live in that house behind us.
Woman: You have an accent. (Laughter) I think that they are very useful for newspaper(s)
Luke: Oh yes
Woman: They are making money for, they are making… making newspaper(s) making money
Luke: Yeah, they’re making money for newspapers
Woman: No no, they’re not… well they are helping newspaper(s) to make more money
Luke: I see
Woman: Don’t you think?
Luke: Well, yes, certainly, yeah, yeah. Okay , err. (Laughter) You’re being controversial, which is great. That’s a very good…. What, err, there’s a bit of history, isn’t there, sort of, in Canada and err, with the Royal Family, what’s the situation in Quebec. How do people in Quebec feel about, err, The Queen, ’cause you have in Canada the Queen on your bank notes, don’t you.
Woman: Yeah, well we don’t mind so much about the face of the Queen on the bank notes, but, you know, we don’t like, well, ‘we we’ it’s not us but in general people don’t like The Queen but this summer we had a visit of William and Kate and they were very very very very appreciate(d).
Luke: They… really?
Woman: Kate.
Luke: Yes
Woman: Kate was appreciate(d)
Luke: Not William?
Woman: Yes, yes, but you know he was just there as the boyfriend of Kate.
Luke: So, she’s a celebrity, she’s not, sort of, err…
Woman: Yeah because she’s elegant and she’s… you know? It was her, her, how do you say in English – wardrobe? Wardrobe?
Luke: Yeah, her wardrobe, yeah. Her outfits and her clothes.
Woman: Yes, it was very important. That was the subject of discussion.
Luke: Yes, so you like Kate basically, don’t you? In Canada I mean, in Quebec at least.
Woman: No, in Canada they love everybody, but in Quebec Kate was appreciate(d) because she was natural.
Luke: Right, yeah yeah. She’s sort of, erm, yeah, she’s a normal person.
Woman: Yeah, a human being.
Luke: (Laughs) Are you saying that the Royals aren’t human beings? What are they, like, robots or aliens or…?
Woman: We don’t know, we don’t know, perhaps. What do you think?
Luke: Erm, I don’t know, I think they’re, I think they’re human beings but err, I don’t know, it’s, they’re different kind of people, you know.
Woman: But obviously people like because you know, you have, you see all those people next to the, to to to, to the fence
Luke: to the gates
Woman: to the gates, and they are like, “ooh!” You know, so here we feel some attachment
Luke: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Man: that we don’t have
Luke: Well, erm, I mean a lot of these people you’re seeing are tourists, you know, and they come because it’s, erm, you know, there’s lots of impressive buildings and things, and a lot of money and stuff like that, erm. Well, you see The Queen and the state are kind of the same thing so if you’re… I guess a lot of people are proud of being, you know, from their own country and so they use The Queen as a representation of their pride in their country. Erm, whether that’s a good or a bad thing, I don’t know, that’s err, another question, but err, yeah

Teenage girl
[This girl is from South London and has a typical young Londoner's accent. Her Dad was also behind the camera]
Luke: I’m asking people what they think of the Royal Family, so what do you think? Do you think they’re a good thing or a bad thing?
Girl: Good for tradition. Not much help. I dunno, they don’t do much. I don’t think.
Luke: Really? Yeah?
Girl: I don’t know
Luke: Do you feel like you have a strong opinion about The Royal Family?
Girl: Not at all
Luke: What do you think of William and Kate?
Girl: They’re a couple. They’re just… they’re just royal, married people.
Luke: Yeah, yeah yeah
The Girl’s Dad: Do you think they’re a nice couple or not?
Girl: I don’t think it matters. It doesn’t matter to me, personally.
Luke: Do you feel like you’ve got any connection to The Royal Family at all?
Girl: No
Luke: If you had a choice, would you get rid of them or would you keep them?
Girl: Keep them
Dad: Why?
Girl: Because it’s a British thing, I guess.
Luke: Would you rather we had, like, a president that was elected or would you rather we had a queen who wasn’t elected?
Girl: A president
Luke: Yeah? Like in America
Girl: Yeah. It’s more, err, …
Luke: Democratic
Girl: That’s the word!
Luke: Do you want to say anything to the people of the world?
Girl: Hi, people of the world. Bye, people of the world.

Definitions of some words and expressions:
an RP accent = a standard British English accent without any regional differences in pronunciation, a ‘BBC accent’
he comes across as a pleasant chap = seems to be a nice person, gives the impression of being a nice person
a monarch = a king or queen
the institution of the monarchy = the political structure and administrative organisation of the Royal Family
super-annuated = old, out of date, obsolete
head of state = the individual that serves as the chief public representative of a monarchy, republic, federation, commonwealth or other kind of state
reign = period of time in which a king or queen serves as monarch
a figurehead = a person who represents a country but has no real power, just a representative function
charity = the practice of giving or caring without expecting anything in return. Charity work is often done by organisations called ‘charities’ such as UNICEF or The British Red Cross
bowler hats = traditional round hats worn by British business men in the past
a drain on our economy = something which takes money away from the economy, something which we spend money on
in the general scheme of things = in the general overall picture/situation
stereotype = a common vision or image of a person or group which is not completely realistic or true
pleasant = nice
chap = man (informal, a bit posh or old fashioned)
body = an organisation or institution
get rid of them = remove them, throw them away
accept the throne = agree to become king
wardrobe = clothes, outfits
democratic = a form of government in which all people have a right to have influence over the way a country is run by voting in elections

You should:
Try to follow the conversation between 3 native speakers
Notice any differences in accent (Oli and I are from London, Pasquale is originally from Montreal in Canada)
Try to notice specific bits of language, phrases, expressions which are used.
There’s a lot of humour in the conversation – do you find it funny? Why? Why not?

If you like, you can transcribe some parts of the conversation. You’ll find this really focusses your listening and allows you to pick up phrases, vocabulary and features of pronunciation more effectively.

Here is a summary of the advice given in the episode:
1. Keep moving! Don’t stop! Don’t hold up the passengers behind you. Don’t block the corridors or the platforms.
2. Top up your Oyster card before you travel. Don’t waste time searching through your pockets or your handbag (ladies!)
3. Stand on the right of the escalators. Let people walk past on the left.
4. When you reach the platform, move down to the end.
5. If the platform is crowded, stand near the platform exit – more people will get off the train there and it will be easier to find space in the carriage.
6. To get on the train first you need to find out where the doors will stop. Do this by looking at the yellow line on the platform. Find the places where the paint is worn down and then wait there. The paint gets worn away by people who step off the train onto the yellow line. Where the paint is worn down is where the doors will stop!
7. Let other people get off the train first.
8. When you get on, move down inside the carriage. Don’t be shy!
9. If you’re wearing a back-pack or a rucksack, take it off. It will use up too much space.
10. Take care of your personal hygiene. Use some deodorant so you don’t smell of BO (body odour)
11. Give up your seat for elderly, disabled, injured or pregnant passengers.
12. Don’t talk too loudly or be anti-social
13. Don’t play your music too loud
14. Don’t feel you need to talk to everyone. People don’t want to be disturbed. They just want to get from A to B.
15. Chill out and read a book!

That’s it. Enjoy! Any questions, email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

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Transcript for the introduction to “Mind the Gap – The London Underground” – Thanks a lot to Ewelina!

Mind the Gap, Ladies and Gentleman, because this episode is all about the London Underground and in this episode you’re going to listen to a conversation between me, my cousin Oliver and our friend Pasquale as we talk about using the London Underground and giving you some particularly good, and very useful advice on exactly how you should use the Underground effectively.

Now in London basically there are two …, well, there is about 7 million people living in London, and as well as that we get millions of tourists visiting the city every year. Particularly next year 2012, because of the Olympic Games, there will be an estimated, something like, something ridiculous, like another 6 million people are gonna come to the city, so we thought, it would be very important to give some advice, share some tips on how you should use the Underground to make sure it doesn’t get blocked and it doesn’t get too crowded.

Now, for like Londoners, for people, who live in London, there are basically two types of tourist, now: on one hand you’ve got the bad tourists, now these are the ones, who come to the city in large numbers, and they don’t know how to operate, they don’t know, they don’t realise, that they are visiting a city, which is full of people, who need to get from A to B as quickly as possible, because they need to do their job, right, so these tourists: they come, because they are on holiday, they don’t realize and they just come, and they might, for example, just stand around on the street in large groups, just blocking the street, or they would get into the underground system, and just, sort of stop in a passage way and look at their tourist maps, because they are trying to work out where to go, and all of the time, they’re just blocking people, getting in the way, making life difficult for the ordinary Londoners who have to get from A to B in order to do their work, right? So that’s the bad tourists, those are the ones that are just, sort of like, standing around in the street, just going: ‘oh, la, la, la la la, I’m just having a lovely holiday’ and meanwhile, the rest of London gets blocked behind them.

Then, on the other hand you’ve got the good tourists, and these are the ones, who kind of do a little bit of research before they come to the city and they realize, they’re not just going on a holiday to a city, but they also becoming part of a very complicated system of people moving around, right, and they realize that really to appreciate the city properly, they’ve got to sort of think about using the Underground system or the buses or whatever, they’ve just got to think about moving around as if they were real Londoners, so they realize that they’re in a city, which is full of people moving around and they just keep cool, they go to the cool places and they don’t get in the way too much and they see what London is really like, rather than just living in some sort of dreamworld holiday, kinda thing, right.

So now in this episode, hopefully, you’ll get some advice which will allow you to be one of those good tourists, one of those cool tourists. I don’t know maybe you already live in London, maybe you’re learning English here and you live here in London, in which case you probably use the Underground every day and so you should definitely follow this advice, it will really help you, and, or maybe you’re not even learning English, maybe you’re just like a teacher of English or just someone who enjoys listening to this podcast and maybe you live in London too, well you use the Underground as well so why don’t you listen to this as well? And use it to kind of, you know, give you a few ideas of maybe how you can get on that crowded train that you keep missing, or how you can just get a seat if you usually can’t find a seat. There’s an art in using the underground, and you’re going to learn about it in this episode.

Now, let me just give you a few facts about the London underground, well, basically there’re, as I said, more than 7 millions residents in London, everyday millions of people use the Underground, it’s the oldest Underground railway in the world, it was first opened in 1890. Londoners called it ‘the Tube’, or ‘the Tube’ (different pronunciation), that’s because the shape of the tunnels is a bit like a tube. I call it ‘the Tube’, right, or the Underground In France in Paris, they call it ‘the Metro’, that’s the Paris metro, is their underground system, in New York the underground system is called ‘the Subway’, and then here in London it’s called the Underground or the Tube. And it’s an international icon for London, you probably know that the logo for the London underground is blue circle with the red horizontal line, you probably know, the London underground map, because that’s also a kind of cultural icon, which represents London. It’s a design classic-the London underground map, and it was developed with many different stages and it’s now very famous, the London underground map. There’re 270 stations on the underground, and 402km of track. Each year more than 1 billion individual journeys are made, it’s the 3rd biggest metro system in Europe, after Moscow and Paris, and it’s the 2nd biggest, sorry, it’s the 3rd busiest metro system in Europe, after Moscow and Paris, and it’s the 2nd biggest metro system in the world after Shanghai.

So, what else can I tell you about this episode, well, you’re going to get some advice, like I said. The conversation, you’re going to hear, is between me and my cousin Oli (Oliver). Now Oli is a very, very close friend of mine and my cousin, we are basically the same age, he is 2 years older, no, he is 2 weeks older than me, Pasquale is a friend of both of ours, and he is from Montreal in Canada, but he’s been living in London for 3 years. Now Oli has been using the underground to get to work every day for 10 years. Everyday he spends 2 hours on the underground, that’s one hour to get to work and one hour to get back. Two hours every day for 10 years, that pretty much makes him a kind of an expert on the London underground, in my opinion. He knows all the secrets, he knows how to get a seat, he knows the best ways to make sure that you don’t block the corridors and that you can find the exit points easily. He’s a master of using the Underground; he’s got some very advanced tips to give you. Pasquale has been living in London for 3 years, even though, originally he is from Canada, you’ll be able to hear his Canadian accent, in fact. But he’s been living in London for 3 years, he doesn’t really like using the Underground, because he thinks it’s too crowded, and it’s not very healthy, he prefers to cycle, which is even more dangerous in my opinion. If you cycle on the streets of London, you’ve got to be some sort of crazy adrenaline junkie or something, but, I guess, that’s what he likes to do. It gets him from A to B, so you’re going to listen to us talking.

Now, the conversation is pretty quick, because there’s 3 of us, and so we give bits of advice. Now I thought I’d summarize the advice for you, just to make it useful, so you can just hear the advice basically from me now, and the you can listen to the conversation and enjoy it, and you’ll know basically what we are talking about. So it should help you to understand the conversation. Let me just summarize the advice now.

Now, this advice really comes from Oli, because he’s the heavy user of the underground, right. He says 1st thing: you’ve got to keep moving, don’t stop, OK? Keep moving, so when you get to the gate you must have your oyster card ready. An oyster card is an electronic ticket, and you can top up the oyster card with credit, so you put money on it, before you travel, and then, when you go through the gates you beep your oyster card: beep, like that on a sensor. You beep it and that automatically takes some credit away from your card, OK, so you don’t need to keep paying for a ticket every time you travel. You top up at the beginning of the week and then you just beep in and beep out, so you must have your oyster card ready, don’t sort of, don’t block everyone by going through your pockets, trying to find your oyster card. Women, get your oyster card ready, because there’s nothing more time consuming than waiting for you to find your oyster card in your handbag, because we know that a handbag is a bit like a, it’s like the Tardis, you know, from Doctor Who, it’s, they look small, but inside there’s massive amount of space. So get your oyster card out of your handbag, before you get to the gate. Then you won’t block everyone, you won’t waste time that way, OK? Next thing, when you’re using the escalators, the escalators, by the way are those electronic stairs, the stairs, that kind of automatically take you down or up the escalators. When you’re using the escalators in London, you must stand on the right, and let passengers walk past you, on the left. It’s one of the worst things, that tourists do, the thing that annoys Londoners the most. It’s when tourists get onto the escalator, and they just stop. They stand in the middle and they block it and people can’t get past.

*please feel free to contribute more of this transcript! I will proof-read what you write and then add it to the page*

TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE – CLICK HERE

Tapescripts available below!

In this episode I tell you some news, share some comments from listeners, share an amusing audio clip about a driving instructor and eat some chocolate!

Here’s the email from Bettina:

Hello Luke,

Actually I realize every single day that I’m living a veritable dream
thanks to your podcast. Poor me, it took me finally more than two
years to wake up !

As you might know I’ve always listened to each of your shows several
times but, and that makes the difference, I rarely got back to listen
to them again. It’s incredible how much I forgot about the precious

advice of each episode.

I even completely forgot most of it. Yah, I’ve to re-listen
intensively to the previous shows as well.

You’re motivating and such a brilliant English teacher and trust me I
don’t say that to flatter you !

Thanks to the Internet I can download your podcast. But
not only that, I can listen to it all the time contrary to your
students who can listen to each of your course only once.

Since I’m writing some transcripts I remember much better vocabulary,
expressions and so much more. I’m overjoyed and maybe you’ll laugh
but I’m not ashamed. Aren’t we so much used to use the

Internet that we forget how amazing it is to have this opportunity?

Well, I think that you’re right, the most important is, to use what
we’ve learnt but we aren’t English native speakers, right? We have to
revise all of the stuff we’ve learnt frequently and that’s the reason
why

from now on, I’ll listen to each episode again and again instead of
only focusing on the new one. It’s great time to revise the whole
interesting stuff. It’s up to us to make the best of it. Yah, it’s all
in

our hands ! Plus, that will not be boring because each of your shows
is different and quite funny. Learning English with fun is the most
important thing.

I could never make the effort to pay for a private English teacher who
helps me to improve but I found you, the best, the most terrific
English teacher who teaches the language. You even proofread my

transcripts and hold on a minute, it’s all for free ! ! ! Can you
believe that? I’m on cloud nine.

English has become my great passion. I’m in my ‘fake’
English world every day. No, I haven’t a great level yet, but is it
really that important? Hmm, I’m not sure! I’m guess my English will

progress, now I finally understand how to learn more efficiently . So,
it’s time to practice the rich material of your podcasts ! I’ve still
so much to learn and I would definitively reach my goal!

Thanks a million from the bottom of my heart.

Bettina

Here’s a link to the driving instructor on YouTube:

Here’s the Script for the Driving Instructor by Bob Newhart:
As I said, there was a thing in the paper tonight about documentaries and I have had an idea for a long time for what I think is a wonderful documentary, which has everything. For instance, you go to work, you come home at night and you never really think about it. It’s mechanical, it’s routine. But there are a group of men who every day when they go to work never know if that night they will return, because they face death in one hundred different ways. And I am talking about America’s driving instructors. I would like to present the first episode in the new tv series called, “The Driving Instructor”. Now I would like to have you picture if you would, I’m the driving instructor and seated next to me is a woman driver.

How do you do?…
Erm, you’re Mrs. Webb, is that right?…
Oh, I see you’ve had one lesson already, who was the instructor on that Mrs. Webb?…
Mr. Adams…
I’m sorry, here it is. Mr. Adams. Just let me read ahead and kind of familiarize myself with the case…
Erm, how fast were you going when Mr. Adams jumped from the car?…
Sev…, Seventy-five. And, and where was that?…
In your driveway…
How far had Mr. Adams gotten in the lesson?…
Backing out…
I see, you were backing out at seventy-five and that’s, that’s when he jumped….
Did he cover starting the car?…
And the other way of stopping?…
What’s the other way of stopping?…
Throwing it in reverse…
that’s, that would do it, you’re right, that would do it…
Erm, alright you want to start the car?…
Uh, Mrs. Webb you just turned on the lights, you want to start the car…
They all look alike, don’t they?…
No, I don’t know why they design them that way…
Erm, alright let’s pull out into traffic…
Now, what’s the first thing we’re going to do before we pull out into traffic?…
What did Mr. Adams do before he let you pull out into traffic?…
Well, I mean besides praying…
No, what I had in mind was checking the rear view mirror…
You see we always want to check the rear…
DON’T PULL OUT !!!…
Erm, please don’t cry…
I’m sorry… but there was this bus, Mrs. Webb…
Oh, alright, the lane is clear is now, you want to pull out?…
Oh, now that wasn’t bad at all, you might try it a little slower next time….
Alright, let’s get up a bit more speed and gradually ease it into second…
Well, I didn’t want to cover reverse this early but as long as you have shifted into it…
Of course you’re nervous…
I’m nervous!…
I’m not just saying that, I’m really, I’m really very nervous…
Well, just don’t pay any attention to their honking….
You’re doing fine…
You’re not blocking anyone’s lane…
No, as long as you are here on the safety island, you are not blocking anyone’s lane…
Oh, alright you want to start the car?…
Oh, while you are turning the lights off, why don’t you turn off the heater?…
Alright, there we are, let’s get up a bit of speed…
That’s the way…
Now let’s practice some turns. Um, the important thing on turns is not to make them too sharp, just kind of make a gradual…
Now that was fine…
That was a wonderful turn…
It’s hard for me to believe you only had two lessons after you make a turn like…
Are you sure you haven’t had more now?…
I find that very difficult to believe…
One little thing…
This is a one way street…
Well, no, no, actually it was partially my fault, you see, but, uh, you were in the left hand lane and you were signaling left, and I just more or less assumed you were going to turn left.
SAME TO YOU, FELLA!!!…
No, no, I don’t know what he said Mrs. Webb…
Um, alright let’s pull into the alley up there, uh, and practice a little alley driving…
This is uh, this is something a lot of the schools leave out and we think it is pretty…
YOU’RE GOING TOO FAST MRS. WEBB!!!…
You were up around sixty and that’s kind of a sharp turn there…
Alright, just drive down the alley, that’s the way…
Oh, Mrs. Webb, maybe we better stop here…
Well, I don’t think you are going to make it between the truck and the building…
Mrs. Webb?…
Mrs. Webb…
I…
Mrs. Webb, I, I …
I don’t think you are going…
MRS. WEBB?…..
I real…
I…
I really didn’t think you were going to MAKE IT….
That just shows we can be wrong too…
No, no, I’ll get out on your side, that’s alright.
Oh, Mrs. Webb, uh, maybe it might be a good idea if we went over to the driving area. They have a student driver area over a few blocks away and maybe traffic throws you, maybe that’s the problem…
Well, turn here on the street…
Right…
And it’s only about a block up…
Alright, turn right here…
Well, now that was my fault again…
You see, I meant the next street. Not this man’s lawn…
Oh, sir, sir… sir, would you mind turning off the sprinkler?…
For just a…
Newly seeded?…
Is that right?…
That’s always the way, isn’t it? Ha! ha!…
I don’t suppose it is so funny!…
Oh, alright Mrs. Webb, you want to back out and get off the man’s…
Creeping bent, is that right…
Yea, just back out, Mrs. Webb…
Thank you very much, sir for…
Oh, now we’ve hit someone Mrs. Webb…
Oh, remember you’re going to watch the rear view mirror, remember we covered that…
The red light blinded you?…
The flashing red light blinded you?…
The flashing red light on the car you hit blinded you?…
Yes, officer, she was just telling me about it…
Um, alright…
Alright, erm, Mrs. Webb…
I am going to have to go with the officer to the police station…
Erm, they don’t believe it and they’d like, they’d like me to describe it…
And now the other officer is going to get into the car and he is going to drive you back to the driving school and then you are to meet us at the police station.
Erm, my name is Frank Dexter, Mrs Webb…
Why do you ask?…
You want to be sure and get me next time???

Buy Bob Newhart’s CD on Amazon.co.uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/Something-Like-This-Bob-Newhart/dp/B000059Z84/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320352612&sr=8-1

Stay tuned for more useful and entertaining episodes soon

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF THE PODCAST

Tributes to Steve Jobs from Reuters News Feed:

(Reuters) – President Barack Obama was among the many people who paid tribute to Steve Jobs, calling the Apple co-founder a visionary and great American innovator.

“Steve was among the greatest of American innovators — brave enough to think differently, bold enough to believe he could change the world, and talented enough to do it,” Obama said of Jobs, who died on Wednesday.

“The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve’s success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented.”

The president was joined by political, technology, entertainment and business leaders around the world in paying tribute to Jobs. A selection:

BILL GATES, MICROSOFT CO-FOUNDER AND CHAIRMAN

“Steve and I first met nearly 30 years ago, and have been colleagues, competitors and friends over the course of more than half our lives. The world rarely sees someone who has had the profound impact Steve has had, the effects of which will be felt for many generations to come. For those of us lucky enough to get to work with him, it’s been an insanely great honor.”

STEPHEN ELOP, NOKIA CEO

“The world lost a true visionary today. Steve’s passion for simplicity and elegance leaves us all a legacy that will endure for generations. Today, my thoughts, and those of everyone at Nokia, are with the friends and family that he leaves behind.”

FRENCH PRESIDENT NICOLAS SARKOZY ON FACEBOOK

“His capacity to revolutionize entire sectors of the economy by the power of imagination and technology is a source of inspiration for millions of engineers and entrepreneurs across the world. His efforts to render new technologies more attractive and simple to use have made a success of businesses that have changed the world of computing, the distribution of cultural content, telecommunications and even animated cinema.”

RUPERT MURDOCH, CEO OF NEWS CORP

“Today, we lost one of the most influential thinkers, creators and entrepreneurs of all time. Steve Jobs was simply the greatest CEO of his generation.”

Full Reuters Article Here: http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE7950GT20111006?irpc=932

PLEASE DONATE A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY TO LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST. YOUR DONATIONS MAKE THIS PODCAST POSSIBLE. CLICK HERE TO DONATE. Thank you!

Steve Jobs’ Stanford University Speech:

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife, except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We’ve got an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college. This was the start, in my life.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life’s going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and thankfully I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

© Stanford University. All Rights Reserved. Stanford, CA 94305. (650) 723-2300.
Watch a video of the speech here:

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In this episode I set myself another challenge. Here are the rules and conditions of the challenge:

1. I have to speak for at least 30 minutes.
2. I’m not allowed to stop speaking or stop the recording UNLESS I get a phone call.
3. If I get a phone call I can pause the recording and continue later, or whenever I want.
4. While speaking I’m not allowed to leave any long pauses in which I don’t say anything. If I pause for a long time I fail and I have to stop there.
5. I have to try to make sense, and keep it interesting (difficult!)
6. I can’t just talk about mundane/trivial stuff. I have to talk about more profound things too and make some points if possible.
7. I can talk about mundane things but only if I then talk about something profound afterwards.
8. If I talk about a profound subject then I am allowed to talk about something mundane and trivial for a bit (but then I have to talk about something profound again.)
9. I have to try to conclude the episode by making a point at the end.

I decided to call it the cheese episode. Listen to find out why.
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I think I might have failed this challenge because I paused a couple of times and because my final point was a bit vague. Did I fail? Add a comment below to let me know.

Any questions? Add them to the comments section below. Feel free to add comments to the comments box on the right (a bit further down) too.

I speak pretty quickly in this episode, but this is how I normally talk to my friends! I’m trying to keep it natural and authentic (as much as that is possible when speaking into a microphone on your own.)

What should you do when you listen to this?
- Just try to follow what I am saying
-Try to notice chunks/blocks of language
- If you like you can try to write a transcript of the episode (or some parts of the episode)
- If you write a transcript, please send it to me. It would be really useful to other listeners to read.

Thanks to Bettina for sending me a transcript to the last episode. I will post that soon.

Let me know what you think.

Peace,

Luke

Click here if you would like to make a donation to Luke’s English Podcast via PayPal.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE OF LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST

Why is this one called The Ice Cream Episode? You’ll have to listen to the whole thing to find out. FULL TRANSCRIPT NOW AVAILABLE BELOW!

In this episode I decided I’d give myself a challenge: could I just talk non-stop for 45 minutes without planning anything in advance, and keep it interesting? You can decide for yourself if I was successful or not.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A DONATION VIA PAYPAL. YOUR DONATIONS MAKE THIS PODCAST POSSIBLE. THIS IS A FREE SERVICE BUT I HAVE TO COVER COSTS! I CURRENTLY TRANSFER OVER 500GIGABYTES OF DATA EVERY MONTH, AND THAT COSTS MONEY FOLKS!!! PLEASE DONATE TO HELP ME CONTINUE TO PROVIDE THIS SERVICE. Thank you.

I don’t actually teach you anything in this episode, but if you’re a good learner of English you’ll just use this as a chance to listen to 45 minutes of natural authentic English from a native speaker. You might be able to just pick up some expressions, notice features of pronunciation or just enjoy listening to me ramble on about things like Blackberrys Vs iPhones or the way robots always turn evil in movies. I hope it’s useful and/or interesting for you!

Good learners of English try to notice blocks of language. These blocks of language can be certain grammatical structures, phrases, vocabulary or just sentences which contain new words or complex structures. When you notice these bits of language, you can analyse them yourself. What kind of grammar is being used? What does this tell you about your own understanding of how the language works? What exactly do the expressions mean? How can you use them yourself? How would you use the language to talk about your own life or experience?

Here’s a challenge: In this podcast I want you to try to notice some ‘blocks of language’. When you find one you like, just write it as a comment on the bottom of the episode. If lots of people write a block of language from the podcast as a comment it will help other people to pick up vocabulary and expressions. I’ve given you some from the first 10 minutes or so already. You can read them below. Please add some more by writing comments with the language blocks you have heard.

Also, you’ll have to listen to the whole thing to find out why it is called The Ice Cream Episode.

Cheers!

Luke

P.S. A VERY HELPFUL LISTENER CALLED BETTINA FROM FRANCE HAS WRITTEN A FULL TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS EPISODE. THANKS BETTINA! IT MUST HAVE TAKEN A LONG TIME TO WRITE IT. NOW YOU CAN READ IT HERE:

THE ICE CREAM EPISODE – FULL TRANSCRIPT

You’re listening to Luke’s English Podcast. For more information visit teacherluke.podomatic.com

Hello, you’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. This is a podcast and it’s made by someone called Luke.
That’s me and you’re listening to it and it’s about English. So, that’s why I said that you’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. I expect you’re listening to it. That’s normally what you do with a podcast. You kind of listen to it, you maybe… you would download it as well, you might have uploaded it onto your iPhone or iPad or other mp3 device. There are plenty of other mp3 devices out there. It’s not just Apple products despite what you might have
led…been led to believe. There’s lots of them, you’ve got like ones made by Sony and Panasonic and other Japanese companies. Not to mention all of the other companies from different places on the world. Right now in this episode I’ve kind of set myself a stupid random challenge and that is, I’m gonna see if I can just keep talking for about forty five minutes. I haven’t planed anything. I haven’t written anything down. I’ve got no preparation at all. I’m just gonna see if I can just ramble on about not very much for at least forty five minutes. Now, if you are a regular listener of this podcast you’ll know that at the beginning of each episode there’s often about ten minutes of me just sort of talking and in a slightly self indulgent way, just talking about stuff for about
ten minutes before you actually get to the real content. Now, if you don’t like that part of the podcast, if you think that’s boring and you kind of skip through it then you’re probably not gonna enjoy this one because I haven’t written any vocabulary notes. I’ve got no phrasal verbs,
I’ve got no idioms or anything. I’ve got no useful expressions written down which I’m gonna teach you. I’m just gonna keep talking. Why am I doing this? I don’t know, I’ve just actually just decided to do it this evening and maybe it’s because I just like the sound of my voice. That could be it. You know, yeah maybe that’s it! Because it would be sad if that’s the only reason I’m doing it because if I like, if I just like the sound of my own voice that means I’m a bit egoistical, but maybe that’s the reason. I don’t know.
Another reason is that I want to do a podcast tonight but I just can’t really be bothered to prepare something because when I do one of these usually, I kind of sit down. I have to think of lots of ideas and I choose a topic or choose an idea and I think, right, I wanna do a podcast about that. And then I have to plan it and prepare it. So, if I have chosen that subject let’s say for example ‘The human body’ right? The human body, that’s actually an idea I had on the bus today. So, I… the human body, that would be an interesting idea for an episode. So what I would then do is think… okay, the human body is the subject, so what am I gonna do? Body parts? Parts of the body? I could do that. I could teach you all of the different body parts but actually that’s not really
very useful, not very easy when it’s just audio because really the best way of teaching you different parts of the body would be to kind of show you the different parts of the body on a picture or something like that. I can’t really do that with an audio podcast like this. So I thought, hey, I know, I could do a sort of maybe the verbs, different verbs that you use when describing what different parts of your body do. You know? That would be brilliant wouldn’t it? That would be a really good, really useful podcast.
Well sorry, no, that’s not what you’re gonna get with this one. You just gonna get lots of random nonsense that’s err, probably doesn’t really help you. Unless of course you think ‘Well just listening to someone who’s just talking constantly like this without really planning anything. Just really naturally, sort of, speaking.’ I don’t know, maybe that isn’t really natural when you have to just talk for forty five minutes. Not very often. But anyway, maybe just listening to someone, just trying to create some continuous, like, discourse, you know just producing a continuous flow of spoken discourse. That might be for some, somehow useful. Maybe if you’re one of those clever
learners of English, you will be able to just sort of pick up bits of vocabulary or pick up expressions that I use to kind of construct this continuous flow of speech and you know if you’re clever as a learner of English you’ll be able to notice little bits of language that I’m using to give structure to what I’m saying to link things and so on. That’s what good learners of English do, right? You kind of notice bits of language and pick them up and start using them yourselves. So really, I suppose in this episode I’m leaving it up to you. It’s up to you to do the kind of language work. I’m just presenting you with forty five minutes of kind of natural British English and it’s up to you to start noticing structures, noticing bits of language and picking them up, right?
So consider this to be a sample of forty five minutes sample of unbroken spoken English, which you can just analyze as much as you like. I’m not gonna do any of that, analysis work tonight, just because you know, I don’t wanna sit there for two or three hours this evening, writing down expressions and writing down examples and definitions and then recording it and then uploading it. It could take me kind of four hours or something, to do it. You know, I’ve got stuff to do this evening you know. I’ve got to do my laundry, I’ve got to do. I’ve go to cook for myself and eat, you know. I have to eat, you know, like at least three times a day and I need to drink water, You know.
Those are basic things that I have to do just to survive. I don’t necessarily have lots of time to sit down and prepare and record a podcast. I imagine… I expect that some people who are listening to this will gonna be really bored and frustrated with this podcast. Just because there is no real content. It’s just me talking in a very self indulgent way but who cares? Right?
If you’re that kind of person, just, you know stop listening really. But if on the other hand you’re one of these fabulous learners of English who’s able to just tune in mentally to some, you know spoken English you might be able to pick up some really useful things and just generally practice your listening. I mean, it’s probably… it could be a good idea.
Okay, right. So, what might I talk about?
Well, You know I’m just gonna basically ramble stupid stuff, you know for forty five minutes like I’ve said just to see if I can do it. It’s just a challenge really. It’s just a personal challenge. Can I just keep talking without stopping for forty five minutes? And hopefully keep it interessting. It could be difficult, particularly the kind of ‘keeping it in interesting’ bit. I think that might be a bit of a challenge.
I think I could probably keep talking for ages but whether or not it would be interesting, that’s another question.
We will see. We will see at the end. You can decide whether it was interesting or not. I imagine, if you just decide to stop listening you’ll think: Oh no, that wasn’t interesting. That was just stupid and you know a waste of time, waste of effort but you know, maybe not.
I kind of… I’m kind of repeating myself here. I expect that would be a general theme of this episode. Me, just making the same points over and over and over again.
So yeah, I think that in almost every episode of Luke’s English podcast, almost every episode, I teach you something. There’s usually some vocabulary or something like that. So you know, you can just go back over those old ones. And there’s loads and loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of language you can get from that.
This one is not one of those episodes. It’s just a kind of rambling stream of consciousness let’s say. No preparation at all. So it’s just, you know, it’s just as it’s occurs to me, as it were.
Now what I might do is when I’ve finished doing all this talking, I might listen back to it again and just write down some expressions that I’ve used and then just put them on the podcast. And that way you can kind of read the expressions, look at them, think about how they’re used, listen to me using them and that will help you to kind of pick them up and so on.
Yeah, so let’s see. Sitting here on my desk, I recently bought a desk for my living room and it’s revolutionized this room because now finally I actually have a place where I can sit like a civilized person. I’m not just sitting on the sofa like some kind of coach potato. I’ve actually got a desk where I can sit up right and it’s good for my back you know, because sitting on a sofa recording a podcast or sitting on the sofa whenever I use the computer, I’m always like hunched over you know with my back bent, It’s like a very uncomfortable position and I get pains in my neck, you know I get like aches and pains in my spine from sitting in uncomfortable positions using the computer. So finally I thought, right, that’s enough! I’ve had enough of all this leaning over.
I’m gonna get a desk. So I bought a tiny little desk from Argos.
Now Argos is one of those shops like a high street shop but it’s very clever really, Argos, because you go in there and instead of seeing all the stuff on the selves and having to walk around the shop.
Instead they’ve just got a massive catalog. Yeah right and it’s like the bible, really! I mean, if you’re in to shopping, then the Argos catalog is basically the bible for some, for a materialistic person and you can just flick through the bible and they’ve got everything in this catalogue. Just everything!
Well, you know within reason, not absolutely everything and I mean they haven’t got for example an eight legged pink flying elephant. You know I don’t think so.
I mean, I haven’t checked the index for an eight legged pink flying elephant recently. They might have started doing that. I don’t know. But they don’t have absolutely everything. They’ve just got pretty much everything you need for your life. So if you gonna go camping, you gonna get all your camping equipment, if you gonna go to University, you can get all your dictionaries and your pens and paper and stuff like that. If you play computer games you can get PlayStation 3 and all the latest games and controllers and stuff. You get the idea, don’t you? I think you can get pretty much everything there including furniture. So I thought, right. I’ll just go to Argos. Let’s keep it simple. I don’t want some complicated drawn out shopping experience where I have to walk
around the, you know lots of floors on the department store somewhere trying to find the perfect desk. I don’t have time. I can’t be bothered to do that. So instead I have just realized actually that, when I’m recording this, there might be people outside because I live in a bloc of flats there might be people outside waiting for the lift who can hear me speaking because I do speak quite loud when I’m recording this. And they are probably listening to me thinking: ‘God, the guy who lives in this flat is a real weirdo, just talking to himself.
Maybe this is very strange behavior, I don’t know. Maybe this means I’m a bit crazy. Who cares? I don’t really care what other people think that much, to be honest. So screw them. I don’t care about them. Anyway ,where was I? I was talking about the Argos experience. So I thought , keep it simple. I’m just gonna go to Argos and get like a really cheap desk. This desk here it cost me about thirty pounds. Thirty pounds is cheap. So I had to build it myself. You know, you have… Again one of the clever things about Argos is they’ve just kind of give you the furniture but it’s in a pack and you have to take it home and build it yourself. I guess that’s one of the reasons why it’s cheaper. If it was already made then it would be more expensive, right?
So you go in, you choose the thing you want from the catalog, you mark it down on a piece of paper, you take that to the cash register, and there is usually a person, you know there is a person on the cash register . Usually some sort of miserable person like sales assistant who all day, they just stand there at this counter, just taking money from people. And it must be so boring. I mean, I did work in a shop actually for a year doing just that, just after University. I didn’t know what to do. So I just worked in a shop for a year. I mean I just stood there and I became like a robot. It’s like ‘Hello, next customer please, hello Sir, did you find anything you’re looking for? Thank you, that’s £9.99, please. Thank you. Would you like the receipt in the bag? Thanks very much. Next customer please!’
You know this kind of thing just THAT for nine hours a day, everyday for a year starts to root your brain.
So, understandably that people who serve you… Oops, I just pulled the headphones out. Oh dear, it’s all going wrong. I have some technical difficulties. Okay dear okay, I’m be back in business.
So the people who work in these places they are not exactly the most sort of motivated, enthusiastic people in the world. So they take your money, they give you a piece of paper and they say something like, “please go to collection point 3B, it should be ready in about fifteen minutes! Thank you. Next costumer please.” And so you go to collection point 3B and it’s all a bit mysterious, like a bit of a mysterious process that you have to go through.. You kind of stand there with a code number and you go up to the counter and you say:’ “I’m 3B’ This is connection point 3B. I’m costumer 3N709. I think you have a package for me”. And hopefully then they will find the package in the store room and bring it out for you. There actually is a so strange pleasure, a strange joy in being given your purchase in a box over a counter. It feels
like a sort of secret transaction. Like you’re some kind of a secret agent. You kind of give them a code number and they give you a kind of brown box and you don’t even need to say anything to each other. You just take the box and disappear. I mean, it’s pretty cool, pretty fun. You know in its own unique way and that’s it.
So I got this desk, and that’s cool isn’t it? Yeah, that is brilliant, really.
On my desk here, I’ve got my phone. It’s a Blackberry. Now, recently I got this Blackberry. I used to be an iPhone user. Now, we all know how brilliant the iPhone is. It’s amazing. Oh God, have you checked my new iPhone ? Oh, it’s so good. I didn’t realize how great it was. You know, it’s absolutely fantastic ! That’s what people say. It’s like the iPhone conversation, which everyone has to have at some point. You’ve probably had the iPhone conversation yourself. That’s the one where you kind of see a friend of yours who has recently got an iPhone and they say: ‘Oh, it’s brilliant, oh, I absolutely love it, you know, it’s just intuitive. It really is, the design of it, it’s so intuitive!’
It IS brilliant and very intuitive and user friendly. It also happens to be extremely expensive, the iPhone. I mean, God, they… Apple are clever. They make brilliant technology and then they charge you an absolute fortune for the privilege to use it. So I thought: ‘Right, I’ve had enough of this!’ I can’t effort to use the iPhone anymore. I’m gonna downgrade and I’m gonna go for a Blackberry. So I got this Blackberry bold and it’s you know what? It’s absolutely fine. When I first started using it, to be honest, I was a bit shocked. I thought, hold on a minute. What are these buttons? These are actual, physical buttons that I have to press on the front of the phone. What’s that??? And you know, that was like going back, sort of, of five or six years. Actually having to press down buttons with my finger. That’s like wasting energy. Pressing buttons. I don’t wanna press buttons. I
wanna touch smooth glass and have it respond. I wanna feel like I’m living in the future when I’m using a telephone but then I thought, actually no, despite having to physically press down buttons, this Blackberry thing is not that bad? It’s alright. It does basically what an iPhone will do. And it’s fine. And I love it now. I’m… as much as you could love a phone. I mean it’s a pretty weird relationship that we have with our mobile phone. Isn’t it? I mean, say twenty years ago, fifteen years ago no one had mobile phones and now… nowadays there’s like these essential things that we have to have in our lives you know, and if you loose it, it’s like game over. Isn’t it?
It’s a total disaster, if you loose your mobile. Actually when I stopped using my iPhone, when I moved to the Blackberry, it took me about a week to get used to using the Blackberry. Right? And in that week like particularly the first day when I realized that the Blackberry wasn’t quite as perfect as the iPhone, then I kind of thought… you know, I was actually emotionally upset. You know losing the iPhone was a bit like you know losing a pet. You know like if you have a dog that you love and the dog dies. You actually feel upset, you feel like crying, you know because you have lost this thing that you loved so much. That’s a bit how I felt when I stopped using the iPhone. I felt like I had lost something important, deeply important to my soul. And I felt like
crying you know. I was upset, I was depressed, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was unhappy as a result of losing this iPhone which is crazy you know. It’s totally mad, it’s just a piece of technology that we… that provides just the basic function which is the ability to basically just message you friends. You can do it on any old phone. It doesn’t have to be an iPhone. I think it’s… I think we’re really kind of… we have really been really suckered by technology. Particularly the high end technology like the iPad. I mean the iPad is fantastic but it is a luxury. It really is. It is an absolute luxury. No one really needs an iPad. That’s just a luxury and the same goes for the Amazon Kindle which is that thing, that looks a bit like an iPad but it just lets you read books and you can store like a hundred books on it. The Kindle… now, no one really needs that do they? I
mean I’m not fair enough like, oh yeah, you can store hundred books in it but who ever needs to carry around a hundred books? Maybe if you’re a student and you need like to carry books around , so that you can study from those books but I don’t reckon any students who have got Amazon Kindles have got all of these study materials on my Kindle. No, of course they haven’t. What most Kindle users do, they fill the Kindle up with a bunch of books that they feel like they should read and probably loads of books they have already read. I bet half of people who have got Kindles, they get the Kindle and they think:’ Right, I would better put some books on it and then they just fill it up with books that they have already read. What’s the point of that? It’s stupid! You only need one book at a time and anyway, if;ve you got a Kindle, if you’ve got a book that you’re reading you can kind of do anything with it.
One of the fun things about having a book is that you can kind of bend it in your hands. I quite like it when I finish a book, the book is like really sort of soiled. It’s almost like it’s been… it’s go on… like an adventure with me, that book and it doesn’t look the same as when it was new. I mean, it’s an absolute pleasure getting a new book. It’s like perfect, it’s been untouched by human hand almost. It’s clean, it smells beautiful, there’s nothing like the smell of a new book. It’s just, it’s fantastic. Maybe I’m kind… maybe I’ve got like a wired fetish about the way new books smell but I know, I’m not the only one. I’m sure that there are hundreds of you out there who love that smell of a new book. You know, you open the book. Hm, the smell of the clean pages, the fresh print on those pages is a fantastic thing. Then you start reading it and you’re reading it in lots of different positions, on the bus, on the train. You kind of carry it. It maybe gets a bit wet in the rain or you might spill coffee on it. I’ve actually killed insects with books before. I’ve been like sitting there, reading and there is a fly or mosquito buzzing around me . And the book is the perfect way to kill it, you know and just bang, just get it with the book and then there’s that dead insect in the pages somewhere,too. I think I’ve actually bled onto books as well in the past, so I’d spilled blood all sorts of bodily fluid. I’ve sneezed on books before and it all contributes to the sort of character of that book when you’ve finished with it. I like the idea that when you’re half way through a book… the bits of the pages that you’ve read are a little bit stained with… you know, just the marks from your fingers.
You can see it on the side of the book.. It’s like slightly… the pages have a little stain on the ones that you’ve read and the ones you haven’t read are fresh. They haven’t been touched yet. I quite like that. The fact that the book gets slightly damaged and develops a character, a physical character as you read it and it gets creased and folded and so on. I like that about having a book is like a physical relationship you have with it. Yeah, physical relationship you have with the book. Not that kind of a physical relationship, no, but you know what I mean.
But with a Kindle it’s just like a plastic thing that you have to be really careful with because if you spend like a hundred fifty pounds on this thing, you can’t drop it, you can’t fold it. If you do, it’s gonna break and then that’s it. Hundred and fifty pounds down the toilet. So, and I hate this idea of taking an Amazon Kindle to the beach or an iPad to the beach. That’s like the worst thing you can do with a bit of high technology is Introduce it to some sand or maybe some salty water. Forget about it! It’s a ridiculous idea but we all know that introducing sand to a book you know, when you got a book on a beach it’s just again just giving it that extra bit of physical character that it’s been in contact with sand or wind or something. It’s brilliant. There’s nothing like having a real good book with you on holiday and the book kind of changes as you read it on that holiday. Yeah, we all know that’s true. So the Kindle and the iPad for me they’re luxuries. I’m not saying, I don’t want an iPad. I would love an iPad. Don’t get me wrong. I would absolutely love one but I know that it’s a luxury. Something I don’t really need. I mean just give me a pad, just give me a normal pad. I’ve got a brain, I’ve got an imagination, I’ve got fingers, I can easily get a pen. There’s a pan here in fact. I’ve got a pen with me now. Just give me a normal pad with paper on it and a pen and my imagination. I’ll come up with some entertaining stuff for myself if I have to. I mean the human race survived for thousands of years without iPads. I think we’re probably alright without them in the future. It’s a luxury but you know, I would love one to be honest. I think they’re amazing.
I wonder what’s gonna happen actually … what is gonna happen with the future of technology. The iPad is just like the first step in a new direction, really. And that new direction is that we can just sort of have the Internet with us at all times. And now you can use the iPad to do things like … you see people walking through the streets of London with their iPad. You know we used to see tourists with maps. You know like folding maps, walking around with the map in front of them. And now they have just got this iPad and it’s like a SAT NAV. You know, Satellite navigation. They can just walk around the town with the iPad in their hands and it tells them where to go and what to do. And it won’t be long, I guarantee, it wont be long before Google map becomes super advanced because if you have played around with Google maps you know, that you also have Google street view and Google street view is amazing because you can go on to Google map and if you click on the right button you can actually be transported onto the street that you’re looking at. So you can go to New York you can go to Manhattan on Google maps and you can walk down the street. It’s incredible. And you can see pictures, you can zoom in and zoom out and you can walk down almost every street in like major cities like New York or London or Paris and Tokyo. It’s absolutely amazing. And as well as that interesting places like restaurants or Museums or Historical places of interest are actually highlighted on the screen, on the pictures. So you can kind of click on that picture and they’ll give you information about that place. Maybe it’s a
restaurant review, the menu from that restaurant, the telephone number you can use to actually call the restaurant in order to book a table there. You can kind of like do everything on the Internet. I reckon that eventually Google street view will be live. It will actually be live. So won’t just be one picture well it will be rolling video. I mean I wonder if that’s possible with Satellites even now that you can just have like everything. You can look at everything from satellites using video and just see real time live what’s happening. I reckon it’s gonna happen soon that you would be able to use Google to just observe many parts of the world just as they are happening
live. That’s gonna be amazing but the other thing… And I saw a TV program about this once is there eventually … I mean we already carry around very high quality like high technology computers with us. These are our iPhones and stuff. Eventually they’ll become so good and so fast at processing that we’ll just be able to all sorts of things, just without any time delay at all. And if you can imagine, right, combining a pair of sun glasses with the screen on your iPhone and this is like an amazing iPhone, like the iPhone 19 or something , you know. Combining your sun glasses with… or maybe even contact lenses with your iPhone. So you’ll be able to
put your sun glasses on and then across whatever you’re looking at in the real world you’ve also got the Internet version of that. So you can look around the street and you’ll get little arrows, that will pop up in you vision on your sun glasses whenever you look at something. Suddenly you get a window from Wikipedia or something that’ll tell you information about it and all you need to do is like maybe you might to have a little pad on your hand and you just click the buttons and it’ll allow you to make telephone calls to that place or whatever. Find information about it. People will be walking down the street past you. You’ll be able to look at a person and immediately get access like to their Facebook profile, just by looking at them and then you could click on that person and add them as a friend or just find out various bits of information about them. I mean you can almost do this already using Bluetooth technology. You know, if you’ve got something like a Nintendo DS… a Nintendo 3DS handheld computer device ,then you can actually use Bluetooth to find people like… let’s say on the same bus as you who also have a Nintendo DS. And you can challenge them to a game of like Street Fighter 2 on the bus. And it’s just a random person you know and you can just have a game with them. This…Eventually all of this stuff is gonna come together. So we’ll be able to just walk around and look at things and the Internet would be like you know stretched over everything like a Net and like an Internet. And then
you’ll just be able to… like you know use the directions that you get on Google maps. Instead you’ll just have like an arrow in front of you that you’ll be able to see on the screen on your sun glasses. The arrow would just point you in the right direction you know. If you wanna get to the pub like, you just use the arrow and it will point you where you’re going. It’s gonna be
amazing. It’s basically the matrix. Eventually we won’t be able to tell the difference between the Internet and the real world. They’re gonna combine and who knows eventually they might be able to implant some technology inside your head, that will connect with the electrical systems and nervous system in your brain and actually connect the Internet to your brain so that you’ll be able to feel or make decisions just by thinking about them. That’s gonna be amazing. I mean they’ve already got technology which allows you to use your TV with your thoughts. So there’s something has being developed somewhere and it’s like a headset that you put on and it has a little camera I think that looks at your eyes and as you’re looking at the TV you could just think about changing the channel and the channel would change. Don’t ask me how they do it. I read about it today on the Internet. So it must be true. So it’s just one example of the sort of crazy stuff that’s gonna happen. It will be the matrix, that’s eventually what’s gonna happen and we’ll probably be able to do everything you know. Just travel around the world, visit people, actually have genuine experiences while we just sitting down on the sofa connected to the Internet. It’s quite a frightening thought in some ways but also quite amazing really. The frightening aspect to that is that when all this technology allows so many possibilities there’s the poss… there’s the threat that it’s gonna be used for the wrong things, that it could be used to exploit people and that’s already happening with things like identity theft and so on. The people put there all of their personal information on to Facebook and I believe that anything you put on Facebook becomes the propriety of Facebook , I think. I’m not sure about that. I need to check it. So you know you can’t quote me on that but I think that if you’ve uploaded a video, photo onto Facebook then Facebook actually owns that video or that photo. It’s not yours. And they also own all your personal information which if unless you’ve like you’ve chosen the correct security settings, I think they can use that information. They can actually send it to people, they can sell it to marketing companies and so on. So there’s always that threat that your personal information will be used in a way that’s not necessarily good for you. So we have to be very very careful about the Internet and about the way in which it’s used and the content we put on to it. I actually worry about that quite a lot of myself because really I publish a hell of a lot of information about myself on the Internet particularly through this podcast because I sit here and I kind of talk about myself. I describe details, intimate personal details of my life. You know some of them, some of that stuff may be true , may not be true. A lot of the things I say actually are just for the benefit of the language learning that you’re doing but I worry, I think is someone gonna to be able to use
this for the wrong reasons. Well if they try and do that I will chase them. It will be like that Liam Neeson movie, I think it’s called TAKEN and if they try and do something, I will hunt them down and I will catch them and I will make them pay.
Okay, so if there’s anyone out there, who is listening, if anyone in the world is thinking:’ Ha, I think I’m gonna use Luke’s information and steal his identity and steal his money.’
Well, don’t ! Alright because I’ll come after you, I’ll find you and I’ll get you. Alright you know what I’ll do… what I’ll do, so I’ll make you stand up, right and I’ll grab your underpants from behind. I’ll grab hold of your underpants and I’ll pull them really hard all the way over your head and that will hurt your private parts a lot, okay? So don’t do it ! ! !
Don’t mess with my identity. To be honest, it’s not really any point steeling my identity because why would you wanna be ME first of all? There’s not really much that you can get from me. I don’t really have any money. I’m not famous. You can’t really… anyway… enough about that. I don’t only give you any ideas but basically it would be a waste of time stealing my identity, I can tell you.
Yeah so, yeah technology, it’s amazing but it’s also quite frightening. Don’t you think?
I wonder, when you look at sort of the way technology is represented in movies. We don’t trust technology, do we, really? If we see the way that we deal with it in movies, I recently watched that film with Will Smith, I, ROBOT. I don’t know if it’s gonna a different name in your country but basically in the movie my quick plot synopsis of I, ROBOT is, Will Smith is a cop in the future, right. But he is not like a cop like all the others. He’s a kind of like a… to be honest he’s like a normal guy from now, from the present day. But he just happens to be in the future. He’s kind of normal. He wears a leather jacket, he wears like a beenie hat. He probably listens to like Hip Hop
from the 90s or something. You know he probably has lots of Public Enemy , and A Tribe Called Quest [Hip Hop groups from the 1990s] quotes in his head. He loves Hip Hop and Soul music. He probably listens to Bob Marley. That’s the kind of guy that he is in this movie and surrounding him are all these people from the future. And of course the future world that he lives in, is a kind of cold emotionless place where it’s incredibly efficient because everything is done by robots. But somehow it’s less human. It’s colder and more evil quite frankly because most of the people that he meets are probably evil, particularly the ones who works for big corporations because we know, don’t we, that big corporations are just evil.
Naturally evil. Just by definition, if it’s big and it’s corporate and it’s shiny and it’s not very human and yeah that kind of thing.
Then it’s evil, isn’t it? And also if it’s a robot and it’s very high technology, That’s also gonna be evil too. Don’t ask me why, but it will be. And of course what we find is the Will Smith being this normal guy cop investigator, is investigating a murder. But it was a suicide actually. It turns out to be a murder and that’s right. It’s a murder at a robot factory and guess what? The robot is in the factory, they’re evil, that’s right. Why they’re evil? We don’t know. Why are robots in movies evil? No one really knows, but they are, aren’t they? Yeah because we should be frightened and scared of technology because we don’t really understand it. I mean most people don’t really understand technology. As far as I can tell, most of the IT specialists I meet, they don’t nderstand it either. Think about it. The last time you had a serious problem with your computer, did the IT guy really know what the problem was? He didn’t, really he didn’t! He sort of said, well I think it might be something to do with the server. What did that even mean? Nobody knows what’s going on. Technology, we’re probably a few years away from like ‘The Terminator’ or ‘The Matrix’ that that’s point in time where computers become so intelligent that they actually develop their own sense of survival and they think, oh right, okay, I’m a robot and I’m actually more intelligent than people. Now so obviously, what I have to do is become evil and kill all the people, kill all humans. Is that what’s gonna happen? I don’t know but it could be. Why isn’t it that robots become good? You know the more intelligent they are, the more nice they are. That’s… Why doesn’t that happen in movies? Why don’t we get like robots who become super intelligent and say:’ Good morning Luke, would you like a cup of tea Luke?’ You know, that would be good. Wouldn’t it? If they realized that with all their super intelligence that basically all we want, all that’s good for the world is just cups of tea and cake and stuff. That’s the movie I wanna see. I wanna see a movie where Will Smith is in the future and he likes Bob Marley and he’s surrounded by high technology robots and they all just sort of do nice things for him. They kind of take his dog for a walk and they make him cups of tea and they clean his car. They just do nice things to each other. That would be … That’s good and that’s just as likely that happen as all the robots becoming evil. Isn’t it? Hm, maybe it’s not… maybe it’s not though because… Maybe what’s gonna happen is that all this technology’s just gonna make people more open to exploitation because we know from , don’t we … that from like history of the world. We don’t have a very good record of being nice to each other, do we? We don’t. Let’s face it. Maybe in the last few years we’ve been alright. But for hundreds or thousands of years people have been horrible to each other. They really have. Think of like slavery and stuff. You know like back in… when was it? Probably a few hundred years ago really. It’s, when started to travel around by ship and say, probably around the 17th century. That
kind of time when the British Empire you know was growing, we were really bad. We did some really bad things around the world. The British Empire, I mean you know, we were very good at doing it but we did some horrible things to people. Can I just apologize actually? If you’re a listener to, for example, if you’re in… hum, I don’t know, in India or Africa or some part of the world where the British kind of colonized and basically sort of destroyed your culture or maybe even like just took people from your country and turn them into slaves. Can I just apologize for that? Because that’s terrible. Obviously, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do it. It wasn’t even like my
dad’s or my dad’s dad or my dad’s dad’s dad’s dad’s fault but somewhere down the line, people in this country did some pretty bad things to other people in other countries, just because we had more boats you know.. So sorry, sorry about that.
But just generally if you look at the past , you’ll see that people have done some pretty horrible things to each other and maybe that’s gonna keep happening when technology allows people to take control over other peoples lives? Maybe we’ll just get another version of slavery again. I hope not !
I think it’s really really important that we have to be good to each other. At the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about. We just have to be nice to each other. We have to try to understand each other and be compassionate and be nice Actually I’m quite pleased that we’ve reached, that I’ve reached this part of the podcast where the conclusion, I guess, to this rambling stream of consciousness is that please, please…
PLEASE can we be nice to each other? Can we try to understand each other a little bit more? Let’s avoid the conflict, let’s avoid the war and the fighting. Let’s try to make the world a better place for each other. Can we please can we just try understand each other? Don’t try and, don’t blow each other up. It’s stupid! Be nice to each other ! Fighting and blowing people up and trying to rule the world doesn’t work. The only way it’ll work is if you understand that we’re all in it together. We’re all on this earth together, we all share the space. Let’s just try and make it easy. Can we please? Good !
It’s… and I have to say these things because all over the world, all the time people are fighting and they’re fighting for ridiculous reasons. I’m not gonna mention any specific cases but I think you know what I’m talking about. People are fighting over their beliefs. You know when people believe so strongly in like… I don’t know, like a specific God or something they believe in it so strongly that they’re willing to actually kill and kill people’s children as a result of how strongly they believe in their God. That’s wrong. There’s something deeply wrong about that. We know that all the real, like religions and things… They all preach PEACE ! So waging war in the name of religion is complete nonsense and ridiculous. So STOP doing that please ! ! ! That would be nice. Yeah okay.
Wow, I’ve ended up talking about war and politics and killing children again. God, this is not the first time, I’ve ended up talking about that either. Now, let’s talk about something else. maybe we could talk about Ice Cream. That would be a good idea. Wouldn’t it? Yeah, so, Ice Cream, right? God,I love Ice Cream ! Isn’t it great? Ice Cream is a good invention. I don’t know who invented it. Wasn’t it Italians? I think it might been Italians. I don’t know, if it was them, but they certainly do it well and Ice Cream is a good thing. Let’s have more Ice Cream in the world !
I know that it’s kind of bad for your health but come on. Come on, so what? You know everything is bad for your health isn’t it? I mean we all gonna die in the end. We might as well enjoy a little bit of Ice Cream before we go. You know what I mean? And it has some many flavours. You get vanilla of course. That’s like the default flavour for Ice Cream. Isn’t it? I wonder if that was the first flavour. Was that the first flavour for Ice Cream? I don’t know but it’s certainly a good
flavour. It’s the most successful flavor, isn’t it? Vanilla! It’s like standard.. It’s like you know, in terms of… let’s say paper, white paper. It’s like the white paper of Ice Cream, isn’t it? Vanilla… And then of course you’ve got like chocolate and coffee and strawberry and raspberry and I mean the list goes on. I mean, I don’t know if you have ever been to Rome? In Italy but you should go because it’s beautiful. It’s a fantastic place. Go to Rome and check out some of the Ice Cream they’ve got there. It’s brilliant. They’ve got like all kinds of stuff. In some places you get Ice Cream for all sorts of crazy flavours like bubble gum flavored Ice Cream and stuff like that. So let’s stop killing each other, let’s just buy each other Ice Cream and make this world a much better place.
I’m happy that that’s the conclusion of this episode of Luke’s English podcast. It’s all about Ice Cream. So if you… I’m gonna name this episode… I think, I’m gonna call it ‘THE ICE CREAM
Episode and if you have listened all the way to the end then you’ll understand why it’s called the Ice Cream episode.
That’s it from Luke’s English podcast. Forty five minutes!
Thank you, bye,bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye….

SOME BLOCKS OF LANGUAGE FROM THIS EPISODE:

…despite what you might have been led to believe…
…not to mention all the other companies…
…I can’t really be bothered to prepare something…
…I’m leaving it up to you. It’s up to you to do the language work…
…I’m not sitting on a sofa like a couch potato…
…I’ve had enough of all this leaning over…
…let’s keep it simple…
…there’s a strange pleasure in being given your purchase in a box over the counter. It feels like a secret transaction…

Here’s the Argos website (so you know what I’m talking about!) http://www.argos.co.uk/

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Listen carefully to the conversation to get some extended listening practice.
This is a completely natural and authentic conversation between two speakers of British English.
You can sharpen your listening skills, pick up some bits of vocabulary and also just ponder the question of “What are the similarities between learning English and learning music?”
Feel free to send me your comments.
If you would like to support Luke’s English Podcast, you can make a donation via PayPal here. You can dontate as much or as little as you like. It is up to you.
CLICK HERE TO MAKE A DONATION. THANK YOU

In this episode I talk to Francis, who has been teaching English for nearly 40 years. He is from the UK and he works with me at The London School of English. Francis worked for a while in Colombia where he learned Spanish to a good level. Francis is also an excellent guitarist. He’s been playing guitar for all of his adult life. In fact, we both play in a band together and I can assure you – his playing is great! It is a pleasure for me to be able to interview Francis in this podcast and we all feel lucky to share some of his knowledge and experience.

I recorded the conversation on a Blackberry mobile phone. I apologise for the fairly poor sound quality of the interview. You can imagine you are listening to a telephone conversation, or a conference call over the internet. In fact, listening to this conversation will give you valuable practice in listening to English in realistic conditions – you will often have to communicate with people over the telephone or maybe Skype. This is a good chance for you to practise listening in that situation.

I hope you enjoy the conversation. Below you will find a list of some of the points I make during the conversation.

These are some of the similarities between learning English and learning to play music. Do you agree with me?

Love music / Love English
Live music / Live English
Listen to music a lot / Listen to English a lot
Practise
Do it with others
Learn from masters
Melody and rhythm
Copy others
Choose the type u want
Learn to read it
Learn to improvise
Study the history of it
Watch it happen live
Put it on your iphone
Do it with your body
Use it to communicate
Realise it is special and personal
Keep your instrument clean
Do it every day, until it hurts
Start early and don’t give up
Use it to entrertain others
Enjoy the way it sounds
Record yourself and listen to it
Watch other people do it on youtube
Think about how it changes depending on the situation
Sing it regularly
Keep it in your heart
Enjoy the different types from around the world
Realise that the english do it best!!! Lol

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Correct your mistakes! This episode is about typical mistakes that learners of English make when they speak.

I’ve been teaching for 10 years and I’ve been listening to learners of English making mistakes. Recently I made a list of some of the most common mistakes I hear. Here they are, with corrections. This is a really useful episode, I am sure you will agree!

Please DONATE to help me make more podcasts in the future. Click the donate button on the (top) right of this page. You’ll need a PayPal account. Please DONATE money because I need help paying for this service, my equipment and my time. Thank you to my wonderful listeners!

I recently bought a new microphone. You might notice an increase in the recording quality.

Here is a list of those typical mistakes & their corrections:

ERROR: I am agree
CORRECTION: I agree

ERROR: I said you something
CORRECTION: I told you something

E: Luke told that…
C: Luke told us that…

E: If I will…
C: If I go… I will…

E: If I would go…
C: If I went…

E: If I would have gone to university…
C: If I had gone to university

E: A present to someone
C: A present for someone

E: to buy a gift to someone
C: to buy a gift for someone

E: Let’s have a coffee to that cafe
C: Let’s have a coffee in that cafe

Rise = to go up “taxes rose by 5%”
Raise = to make something go up “The government raised taxes by 5%”

E: I am living here since/during 1 year
C: I have been living here for 1 year

E: a girl who she lives in Brazil
C: A girl who lives in Brazil

E: What do you do tonight?
C: What are you doing tonight?

E: Tonight I will go to the pub
C: Tonight I’m going to the pub

E: go to shopping
C: go shopping

a holiday = a vacation ( a week or two with no work)
a day off = one day in which you don’t work
a public holiday / a bank holiday = days when everyone in the country has a day off, e.g. Christmas Day or Easter

E: almost people in my country
C: most of the people in my country / almost all of the people in my country / most people in my country

E: I explain you something
C: Let me explain something (to you)

E: I haven’t any money
C: I don’t have any money / I haven’t got any money

E: some advices
C: Some advice / some pieces of advice

E: some informations
C: some information / some pieces of information

E: a new
C: Some news / a news story

E: question – /kestchun/
C: question – /kwestchun/

E: I had learned that when I was at school
C: I learned that when I was at school

E: I don’t know what means this word
C: I don’t know what this word means

E: Can you tell me where is the station?
C: Can you tell me where the station is?

E: In the next years / in the next months / in the next weeks
C: In the next few years / in the next few months / in the next few weeks

E: a four hours journey
C: a four hour journey

E: a £1m pounds cut
C: a £1m pound cut

E: I forgot my book at home
C: I left my book at home / I forgot to bring my book

E: I backed to my country
C: I went back to my country

E: Are you from England, aren’t you?
C: You’re from England, aren’t you?

E: I feel myself sick
C: I feel sick

E: I bought me an iPod
C: I bought myself an iPod

E: lend = give (temporarily)
C: borrow = take (temporarily)

E: I went to home
C: I went home

E: I went by walk
C: I went on foot

at midnight = at 12.00
in the middle of the night = from midnight until sunrise

E: I came to London for study English
C: I came to London to study English

E: You are the same like me
C: You are the same as me

E: Popular sports as football and tennis
C: Popular sports such as football and tennis / Popular sports like football and tennis

E: women /womens/
C: women /wimmin/

E: in spite of he was tired, he did the washing up
C: in spite of the fact that he was tired… / despite the fact that he was tired… / although he was tired… / in spite of being tired… / despite being tired…

E: We are used to live in a cold climate
C: We are used to living in a cold climate

E: What is he like? -He likes football
C: What is he like? -He’s a really nice guy

E: We have to wait during three weeks
C: We have to wait for three weeks

E: Finish the report until Friday
C: finish the report by Friday

That’s it! Don’t forget to donate to help me keep doing these useful podcasts. Have fun! Bye bye bye bye bye bye
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Plenty of good vocabulary for describing your childhood and school days.

Here you will find lots and lots of really natural and common expressions for describing your childhood, school days and plenty of other things too.

Listen to the podcast a few times to get the most benefit.

Feel free to make a donation by clicking the donate button on the right. Thanks!

Here you will see a list of some of the expressions I used. Listen to the episode to get definitions and examples.

1. I was born in 1977
2. My Mum gave birth to me on a Sunday.
3. My parents decided to name me Luke
4. I wasn’t named after Luke Skywalker or Cool Hand Luke
5. I was named after by great-great-grandfather, who my Mum in particular looked up to
6. I grew up in West London
7. I grew pretty quickly. My parents used to measure me
8. I was brought up by my parents
9. My parents brought me up to be a good lad
10. my parents were quite strict but not too strict
11. I don’t think I was spoiled/spoilt as a child
12. There were plenty of things we weren’t allowed to do
13. My parents were comfortable but not really well off, rich or wealthy
14. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth
15. My parents said I took after my Dad because I looked like him and I was good at sport and music, like him
16. I could be a bit naughty and badly behaved at times and my parents would tell me off and send me to my room but it was never that serious
17. Apparently I went through a naughty phase
18. I was quite stubborn but I grew out of it
19. I have an older brother so I would get his old clothes, I’d get his hand-me-down clothes
20. We used to play with toys that had been handed down by my Dad
21. I went through a lying phase, which is quite normal for kids, and my parents would suspect I was lying about something
22. They knew I was telling fibs or telling tall tales and they’d make me own up to it
23. I got over my lying phase. I grew out of it.
24. I was quite a hyperactive kid
25. I was always full of beans
26. Turns out the orange squash used to contain lots of e-numbers, like E102
27. Sometimes by brother and I would stay up late listening to the radio or playing with Star Wars figures
28. I used to look up to my older brother quite a lot
29. I was probably the annoying little brother and sometimes he’d tell me to get lost
30. Birthdays and Christmas were always great days. I’d look forward to them so much that I’d be counting the days before my birthday and then I wouldn’t be able to sleep
31. Teeth were important as a kid too because your first set (milk teeth) would fall out sometimes and that was quite a big event.
32. You’d keep the tooth and put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy who’d come in the night and replace it with a coin
33. I was scared/afraid/frightened of the tooth fairy
34. I’d put my pillow out on the landing
35. I found out that Santa wasn’t real when one night I couldn’t sleep because I was too excited
36. Some time during the night someone entered the room and started filling my stocking with presents. I thought it was Santa so I pretended to be asleep but secretly watched. It was my Dad. He wasn’t even dressed as Santa.
37. I went to nursery school
38. I went to a normal comprehensive state school. Comprehensive schools / private schools / public schools
39. Primary / Secondary (GCSEs) / College (A levels) / University (degre)
40. Oxbridge university (Oxford or Cambridge) / Red brick university / Ex-polytechnic University
41. I hated my first day of primary school but I got used to it
42. When I was 9 my Dad got a promotion
43. We moved to the countryside to the middle of nowhere
44. The other kids picked on me because I had a different accent
45. I didn’t get bullied but I did get picked on
46. I learned to stand up for myself
47. I wasn’t a swot or a teacher’s pet
48. I could be quite cheeky
49. I got told off by teachers
50. I got a couple of detentions and I had to write lines
51. The cane had been banned a few years earlier
52. Some kids were badly behaved and they would bunk off school or bully the other kids
53. My school was a bit rough but that’s normal for comprehensive schools
54. I used to wear a uniform
55. I became a teenager and an adolescent
56. I went through puberty
57. Secondary school can be tough because of peer pressure
58. You feel sensitive and you’re learning about your identity
59. There are a lot of hormones
60. You have to get by without losing the respect of the other kids
61. You have to be quite popular to avoid embarrassment
62. You have to try to impress girls, avoid bullies, be popular, be good at sport – if not be funny, don’t be too geeky or swotty, avoid trouble with teachers, do you work, get good results and try to keep your parents happy
63. I was ahead of my time because of the music I listened to
64. I was uncomfortable with girls. I felt awkward and embarressed a lot.
65. I studied quite well. I lost concentration but I was imaginative.
66. I got above average GSCE results and went to college.
67. The rest is history!

Here’s a funny sketch from a TV show. Kevin becomes a teenager.

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Listen to an interview with Ray Winstone who is a genuine Londoner with a ‘cockney’ accent. Pick up some new expressions and learn how to recognise a London accent.

Tapescript of the interview:

Alright, I remember going on a date once, years ago, with a girl, a really good girl and I knew her brother and everything, right. And, I picked her up. And as I went to pick her up, I walked into the… this is a disaster, this is how things go wrong, right? I walked into the passageway and they lived round the back of the Limehouse, really nice people. And someone [had] left the telephone on the floor. And there was a glass door into the front room, the lounge. As I walked in, I was going “hello” and I kicked the telephone on the, it was like on the volley, on the half volley. It went straight through the glass window, right? No, that’s the first, right? Smashed the thing to pieces, right? I’m in bits, I’m like, like that. Mum and Dad were cool, I said I’m really sorry, like that. “who left the phone on the floor?” they’re going on and all that. “I’m really really sorry”. Kerry was upstairs getting ready and all that.

And then I sat down on the settee waiting for her, and Mum’s panning the glass up and it’s like… I’m in bits. And I leant on the side of the sofa, like that, and the whole sofa ripped down and fell off. Now you’re going to think I’m joking here, right? It fell off, and I’m up. It’s like You’ve Been Framed or something, right? I’m in bits now, right? I’m fucking sorry, right. And they’re getting the hump now. I’m smashing the house up! I’ve only been in there 5 minutes.

Done that. We’ve got a bus, from Limehouse. On the bus. Some Russian type sailor started digging us out. you know saying “you come with me, with your girlfriend” and all that. I’ve had a fight on the bus, with the geezer, right, within half an hour now, right? I’ve mullered him on the bus, right? It’s all gone pear shaped, right? So we’re still going out, we’ve gone to a pub, then we’ve gone to a party and the party’s in Cloudesley Square, in Islington, right?

Go up there, nice house, very nice house, one of those 3, kind of, tier houses, town houses things, really lovely, and the same thing. You know what I was just saying about this, what reminded me about, you know, keeping one eye on her and she’s alright and I’m talking to a couple of friends here like, boom boom boom. And as she’s walked across the room, right, to come and talk to me, I’ve noticed, you do with your girls, it’s something you, kind of, you look after them without making them feel they’re being looked after if you know what I mean, but you watch them. And she’s tripped on the carpet. And as I’ve caught her, I caught her, right? There’s a table behind me with a glass chandelier, right, thing on, right, and I don’t know how much this was worth, right, and I’ve hit it, and it smashed on the floor, on the fireplace and it’s gone everywhere. There’s glass everywhere. You couldn’t glue this back together. Right? And the woman whose house it was screamed. Right? And I remember saying to her, “I’m really sorry love, whatever it cost, I’ll… I was trying to catch her, whatever it cost, I’ll pay for it and I’ll put it all right, you know” it was obviously someone’s Mum we knew and “I’ll pay for that” and she went on and then you go “well fuck you then” and then it all goes pear shaped.

And, that was the date, and I got her home and that was that. Really nice girl, could’ve, you know, might have been really nice. That was it. I had a nightmare. So, by watching someone and trying to be so nice, it all went the other way.

Here’s the video of Ray Winstone describing the date.

Cheers!

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Listen to some good advice for anyone learning English or taking a Cambridge exam such as IELTS, CAE or FCE.

FULL TRANSCRIPT NOW AVAILABLE BELOW (Thanks again to Bettina from France)

Also in this podcast you’ll learn some idioms with the word ‘say’, and listen to Luke talking about culture shock. There’s a bonus comedy audio bit at the end too so listen to the whole thing!

Here are the idioms:

to have your say
she has nothing to say for herself
I must say
I wouldn’t say no
Let’s say…
say ‘cheese’
say ‘what’?
say when
to say the least
you can say that again!
you can’t say fairer than that
you don’t say!

Here’s the video from The Day Today about the Jam Festival:

TRANSCRIPT/Top Advice for Learning English / Idioms with ‘say’ / Culture Shock
(Transcript provided by Bettina, a listener from France)

You’re listening to Luke’s English podcast. For more information visit teacherluke.podomatic.com
Well, hello Ladies and Gentlemen, you’re listening to Luke’s English podcast . That’s right the finest example of English that you can find on the Internet and that’s right. This is basically just a podcast while I sit here on my sofa tonight. It’s a Thursday evening and I’m basically just sitting here on the sofa . I have got a bit of time, so I decided to record some kind of podcast. Basically what I’m gonna do is just kind of sit here and talk just sort of talk to you about some stuff basically. I’ve got an idioms dictionary on the desk here in front of me and I’ve got
sort of other bits of advice to give to you about learning English which I think will be very useful and very important for you to kind of pick up on and learn, right? So as I like talk to you, I’ll just kind of sort of maybe explain a few bits of vocabulary and talk to you about some advice and that kind of thing. Doesn’t that sound brilliant? Yes, it does Ladies and Gentlemen. Of course it does, because this is Luke’s English podcast.

Now if you’re new to Luke’s English podcast if this is the first time you’ve listened to this let me just explain basically what this is all about. You’re probably a learner of English or maybe a teacher of English or something and you might be someone learning English who’s living in another country somewhere else in the world. Maybe a place where it’s difficult to find other speakers of English like native speakers of English. They’re quite difficult to find in some places. So you need to be able to try and listen to someone speaking English in a natural way, like a native English speaker almost like you’re kind of sitting with that person in a café or in a pub and you’re kind of talking to that person, right? So, that’s what you can get from Luke’s English podcast except that also within this, I can add other bits of audio, like interviews with people, interviews with celebrities and other interesting things like that but also I can throw in bits of vocabulary, phrasal verbs, idioms, natural expressions, that kind of thing. The sort of natural things that people talk about and the language that they use and also some pronunciation tips. Things about the way people speak in the real world. The way that they link their
words up together and the way they stress sentences and that kind of thing, right?

So, how can you get in touch with that kind of English? You can listen to various things on the internet. There’s lots of podcasts available for you to download and you can just listen to people speaking English but how many podcasts are there on the internet for learners of English? Well, there’s a few, some good ones like from the BBC and a few others but there’s also a lot of other podcasts which I don’t think are particularly good for several reasons. One reason is maybe that the sound recording quality isn’t that great and so it’s like listening to a bad telephone line or that they use like scripts when they speak . So they’re not exactly speaking naturally
they’re just reading from a prewritten script, right? So that’s not really gonna be like the natural way that they speak. They just kind of , it’s more like written English in that case.
Or some of them are just very kind of basic and a bit patronizing, you know? Like you get those podcasts that talk to you as if you’re an idiot and maybe spend ten minutes just teaching you one like big word that you’re never really gonna use, you know. I’m not kind of anti-American or anything like that but it seems a lot of these podcasts are often American ones. You’ve got kind of like “You’re listening to the business English pod from pod business.com. Today’s business word is ‘innovative’ , ‘innovative’.” You know, that kind of thing . I don’t think that’s a natural way that people speak, so it’s better to just listen to someone speaking naturally, right?

So, that’s the idea with this podcast . It’s that so I can speak to you naturally and you can listen on your headphones or when you’re on the bus or when you’re on the toilet or something like that, right? You can listen you know, a lot people who listen to this, listen to in the car , so it’s lots of people kind of driving while listening to this. In fact so I expect that some people driving right now, while listening to this. So if you are driving then ‘watch out for that! ‘ Yeah, just a bit of a joke. They’re just for people who are driving. I hope, you know, I’ve done that before. You shouldn’t be really surprised really but anyway.

Now, I thought that in this episode I’d kind of impart some wisdom. Basically kind of give a bit of advice. Now, I’m not saying that I know everything absolutely everything about the best way to acquire a second language. In fact what would be very interesting is if listeners to this show could maybe email me with some bits of advice themselves like I get a lot of quite advanced listeners for this show . I’m very interested to hear your stories.
How did you manage to develop your English to a good level, right? Because that’s what people wanna know. So from people who (___) a good level of English maybe you can email us some advice . What’s the best way in your opinion to learn English effectively, right?

Now, I’ve got some advice which I wanna give you now. Let’s see. Now imagine you’re taking a test in English. It could be one of the Cambridge exams, for example like IELTS or FCE or something like that. You’re taking your test in order to prove your level of English and you want to get a good score, so that you can get a good job in the future, right? So how are you
gonna know, if the answers are right? Now, let’s say, you’re doing one of the kind of vocabulary exercises and you have to choose the right word to complete the gap. Now, how do you know that that is the right word? Now in some cases it’s just because of meaning but often it’s because of collocation like the fact that some words always go together, you know? Like the fact that you do your homework, you don’t make your homework or anything else. You DO your homework. Now, how do you know that those two words go together? There isn’t really a rule about the meaning of that word in that situation because , you know, you could just as easily say
make your homework but people don’t say that. Do your homework is the collocation. So how do you know that? And how are you gonna know all the other very intricate, subtle differences in meaning between various bits of English? Now, if you just study, if you just study a grammar book or just do kind of controlled practice like that , you’re not necessarily going to for example be exposed to English enough, really.
What you need to do is as well as study the language you also should just try and kind of read and listen to as much English as you can, right? Because, let’s say like if I do an exercise in an exam , in an English exam as a teacher, I know the answer, right? I just know what the answer is and I , first of all my instinct tells me it’s right and then after that I think about the grammatical reasons why it’s right. Okay but first my instinct just tells me, yeah, I know that’s right and the others are wrong just because, you know, I just feel it as an instinct. But how have I developed that instinct? Well I think that is because from the day that I was born, I have been listening to other people using English and I have been reading English. And so much English has gone into my ears and into my eyes now, that a lot of it just sticks. So, I know by instinct which things are right and wrong because I know something is wrong because you know no one says that . I have never heard anybody say that before. That combination just doesn’t feel right.Your instinct tells you what’s right because you have heard it so many times or read it so many times, right? Like whenever you read something in English, all of those words go into your head , they all go in. You might not remember them all but they all go into your subconscious because you’ve seen them and so all those combinations are feeding into your subconscious, all the patterns of grammar and usage just go right into the back of your head until you eventually just develop a natural sense for when something feels right or wrong.

So the advice here is that you need to try to read a lot and listen a lot. You need to try to get exposed to the language on a large scale . So that means listening to things regularly, listening to natural things in English regularly, I’m talking about every week. I mean every day would be perfect, right? If you could listen for half an hour a day or more you know? But as much as you can really, just listen to things in English . There’s lots of things you can listen to , all the podcasts on the internet, all the BBC podcasts, this one, Luke’s English podcast , there’s lots of internet radio stations and you’ve got all of your audio books that you can buy and like
video, YouTube. All those things, things you can just listen to on your iPod.

Then as well that you can read a lot if possible and think about what you, what you’re reading , that kind of English will they be using because if you just read the newspaper then you’re just going to read newspaper style English. So maybe think about other things you can read as well like blogs, which are quite informal and well as that you can read, obviously you can read books, all the novels and books that you can purchase and magazines and things like that . There’s lots of things that you can read. Even read like Comic books in English because that’s like a really natural way of, you know of seeing the communication happen with pictures as well kind of help and you also when you listening, you just think about what you listening to. Are you just listening to the news? Because if you do they don’t really speak naturally, no, they don’t speak like normal people on the news, you know? Like they tend to speak in a wired way, like :’For some reason, everyone on the news seems to speak like this . The sentence stress is strange, the intonation’s just weird. In fact, the sentences seem to go on forever. Nowhere really knows where they’re going to end or if they are going to end at all’ ,you know. That kind of thing. So really it might not be natural.

So listen to kind of interviews or conversations if you can. Hopefully then, when you get exposed to the language enough, you start to kind of get a feel for what’s right and wrong. You should also study as well. I mean you can study from grammar books and things like that, too. If you try to do both, it’s the best way to do it but you need to get some English into your life. (Think a bit ?) like that. When you engage with the language you should do on a kind of meaningful level, even an emotional level, you know, so that you’re really feeling, you’re really interested in whatever you’re reading about or listening to in English. Just having that sense of enthusiasm or desire to do it will help you massively. I mean in my experience, the students who learn the best, are the ones who enjoy kind of engaging in some kind of active communication and who, you know, put themselves into the learning process. They don’t just expect it to happen, they actually take it. They take the bull by the horns, you could say. Take the bull by the horns. A bull, you know is a big animal like a male cow. You get bullfighting in Spain for example. A bull, and a bull has horns. Those are a sort of sharp bits on the top of the bull’s head and if you grab or take the bull by the horns you just sort of like take control of the situation basically. To take the bull by the horns. So the best learners really kind of take the bull by the horns, take control of the situation and kind of get involved in learning and you can enjoy it. You can pick up lots of other
information not just English. You can find out about what’s happening in the world which is a pretty special thing. I’m sure you agree, Ladies and Gentlemen.

So, there we go, there’s just like a bit of advice really for me. I wonder if there are other things I could talk to you about at this point. Just thinking about where my students tend to ask me questions on. Now, I get kind of questions about the world, family and about English food, it’s quite a common one. We have other weird things in this country that people don’t seem to understand. Like when visitors come to England, there are various things that they find strange or different? You know it’s basically culture shock. Culture shock is interesting because people using the word culture shock kind of expect the experience to be a shock like when you’re
arriving in a new country, it’s like BANG, oh my god, I can’t deal with this but that’s not what it’s like because actually when you go to another country often it’s just, you know, pretty normal if when you get there it’s just normal, it’s the same. They have cars and you walk up and down the street and you know you can buy kind of coke, maybe people are speaking a different language but in many cases it’s quite of similar but slowly you start to realize that the place you’re living in is different in another way. It’s not just that they have sort of different things but they think in a different way or behave in a different way So like for example when I went to Japan first I thought it was going to be a big shock but when I arrived, I felt fine, I felt totally comfortable. In fact
it was easier to live there because they have like more convenient shops and it just seems to be a bit easier, really, except for the language barrier. But then slowly you start to pick up on differences and you have some experiences that make you feel like, you know, understand what’s going on in this country and you start to realize the deeper stranger things about it. And all of the differences in culture between different countries is just based on various old traditions or principles about, you know, the way you interact with other people, that will make you behave that way. So the key thing to remember with culture shock is that whenever you go to
another culture you should just be very patient and just accept the way that people behave differently because there is a reason for that, you know? Like, you know, there will be some old historical reason for why people behave in a different way.That doesn’t mean that they re doing it wrong. They’re just doing it differently. So I guess, culture shock is something that people experience sometimes when they come to London . I mean there are very strange things that they don’t understand like the fact we have two taps in the bathroom. I don’t know if you know what taps are. They are the things that you turn on and you turn off in order to get water from you
bath or from your sink. And in England it’s very common to have two taps. A hot tap and a cold tap but many people from other countries seem to have a one tap which you can use to control the water and the temperature but in England we have two separate taps and a lot of people find it very strange like the fact they don’t know how to wash their hands because they turn on the hot tap and then it gets too hot and then they have to turn on the cold tap as well and you kind of go between the cold and hot taps when you’re washing your hands. It’s a bit of ridiculous, but that’s just something about England. The fact is we value traditional things like our bathroom fittings. We like them to look old fashioned because we think that’s good. We like the traditional style. We think it looks expensive and good quality and so as a result our bathroom might look a bit
traditional and you might have two taps rather than one modern style tap. And that’s typical about England.

Another thing is that windows in buildings are not very good. They’re quite old here in London and a lot of my students complain that it’s cold in their room. But the windows they have in their house are often very very old windows from the victorian period. These old wooden windows and the fact is, they don’t really insulate your room. A lot of cold air comes through the windows. They are very bad for that. So it is cold but if you’re buying a house here in London and it’s got those old wooden windows then, you know, it makes it much nicer. In fact a house with old wooden windows would be more expensive than a house with modern windows because we
really value the fact that there’re original victorian oak windows. Even though they don’t really work, they don’t even really do their job of insulating a house. They’re still valuable because of the tradition and the fact that they are kind of antique. So that’s just an interesting idea about culture here in England. The fact that we do value traditional things. We’re also very progressive in other areas but a lot of the time in terms of style we quite like the old stuff, I think. Although, you know modern styles are equally popular as well.

Right, you know what I’m gonna do now? I’ll open the idioms dictionary randomly, okay? Okay, I’ve just opened it and I’ve got to the word say. That’s s a y and I think I’m just gonna teach you some idioms from this book here. Say, s a y , right? So these are all expressions that you can use with the word SAY. So let’s see. You can say: have you say. To have your say. You might get for example on a radio show where they are discussing news stories. The radio presenter might say, if you would like to have your say then just give us a call on 0208 998 4234, you know and that means to give your opinion, right? To give your opinion about something, right? So if you wanna give your opinion you can have your say, right? So on a radio show, you can call in and have your say about one of the new stories, okay? Another one is : to have nothing to say for yourself. To
have nothing to say for yourself, that just means that, you know, you’re boring really. You don’t have really anything interesting to talk about.You know, you got nothing to say for yourself.You know, it just means that you’re not really good at having a conversation. You know, you might say, oh, she seems very nice but she doesn’t have much to say for herself. So for the pronunciation, let’s say that again. She doesn’t have much to say for herself – she doesn’t have much to say for herself – she doesn’t have much to say for herself, right? So that means you know, she doesn’t have anything to say , she’s quite boring. Yah and let’s see. If you’re giving an opinion and you want to emphasize it, you can say, well, I must say, well, I must say, and you can use that to emphasize an opinion. For example, well I must say, that’s the funniest thing I
have heard all week. Well I must say, that’s the funniest thing I have heard all week. So you’re emphasizing. Wow, that really is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.
Let’s see. Another one would be: I wouldn’t say no or I wouldn’t say no to that and it’s used to say that you would like to do something or you would like to accept an offer. So if someone says to you, would you like some tea? You say, well, I wouldn’t say no and that means yes., right? Well, I wouldn’t say no, yeah? So, would you like some tea Luke? Oh well, I wouldn’t say no, okay? Well, I wouldn’t say no – well, I wouldn’t say no – well, I wouldn’t say no.

Okay, alright next one is: let us say or let’s say, okay? Let’s say. And you can use that to kind of make a suggestion or give an example. For example, well, I can let you buy the TV for, well, let’s say 100 pounds. Okay? I’ll let you buy the TV for well, let’s say 100 pounds, okay?
Let’s see. Next one is: say cheese, say cheese, cheese, right? Like you know, like the food that mice like to eat. cheese. We use that when you ask everybody to smile before you take their photograph. So just before you take a photograh you’d say. Right, is everybody ready? Right? Say cheese! In some countries they say “patatas”, I think in Spain, I think it’s “patatas”, which means potatoes I think and in another country, I’m sure you say, I think in Japan sometimes they say cheesu – cheesu which is kind of like cheese but in a Japanese accent , cheeesu. A bit like that. I think, I’m sure they’ve got something else that they say.
They certainly put their two fingers up in a V sign. Whenever you point a camera, at a Japanese person, their hand always comes up with a V sign to, you know, Peace. You know, that’s cool, that’s really cool. It’s amazing how every Japanese person, I have ever met, if I showed them a camera, BANG, the hand up with the V sign, Peace, like that. It’s cool you know, like Japanese people obviously really like Peace and that’s good. That’s a good thing, right?

Let’s see, okay. We’ve got another: say what? Say what? Say What?, which is an American expression. So you have to do it in an American accent, say wwwhat?, and that’s say wwwhat? Say what?, so you use that to express great surprise on what someone has just said. So, for example, he is getting married? Say what?

Another one is : say when. Say when, okay? That’s like when, you know, when did you go to the moon? for example, when. Right, say when. And we use that when you want someone to stop pouring a drink, you know, like for example, if they’re pouring you a cup of tea and you don’t want to give you anymore, so you want to say stop but what happens is when you pour a drink for someone, you say, say when! Meaning when would you like me to stop. So, say when and often the other person will go, when, like that, to tell you when to stop pouring.
So, would you like some tea? Oh yes, please. *TEA POURING SOUND EFFECT* Say when? Like that ,okay?

Let’s see: to say the least. To say the least, to say the least and we use that to say, that you’re using the least strong way of saying something. So for example, you would say, I’m not very happy with this work, to say the least, which means I’m, the least thing I feel is I’m not very happy about it. So actually, what he really means, he’s really, really unhappy with his work. I’m not very happy with this work to say the least. That means, he’s actually kind of, to say the least is used to describe the fact that you’re actually feeling a lot more angry about it, you know? To say the least.

Let’s see, okay: you can say that again. This is a, I love this expression. You can say that again. I think it’s just such a brilliant expression. Basically you can use that when you really agree with someone, like really strongly agree with them. So it means, I agree completely and I already know that, right? So like, you know, if you just really wanna agree with someone. So someone might say, oh, she is the most boring person, I’ve ever met. Right, she is the most boring person, I’ve ever met. Well, you can say that again!, Yeah, you can say that again., Yeah, so you’re inviting the person to say it again because you really agree with it. Well you can say that again. So you can say that again – you can say that again – you can say that again, alright?

And here’s another good one: you don’t say. Oh, you don’t say, right? And that’s a like an ironic, kind of sarcastic way of doing. So you have to be very sarcastic when you speak. Oh, you don’t say, like that and it’s used to express, it’s used to express surprise, hum? Okay, alright, I think you use, oh you don’t say to mean, when someone has said something very very obvious, right, they’d just said something really really obvious, so, it would be, well, next year is gonna be 2012! Oh yeah, you don’t say. No, it’s kind of a bad example. Let’s see, let’s see, well, he’s gonna be really drunk if he keeps drinking that stuff. You don’t say. This is strange, you don’t say? I think, it’s just, it’s like a way of saying, yeah, absolutely, oh, yeah. Actually, wait a minute, I think I (___)
wrong. Let me just think about this. Yeah, you don’t say. Funny, you know what? You know when you kind of like repeat an expression or a word over and over and over again. It just stops meaning anything. Well, that’s happened to me now with this expression, you don’t say. It’ doesn’t mean anything to me now. I’ve completely forgotten what this expression means. (___) help me? (___) help me out please? What does, you don’t say mean? I’ve completely forgotten! Right, hold on. Get it together. Just get my mind together here. You don’t say. Yeah, I’ll go with my original explanation. You don’t say is a way, sort of ironically saying, yeah, that’s obvious, you know. You didn’t need to say that. Of course, that ‘s obvious! So, you would say, well I bet that’s the Queen’s rich. Yeah, you don’t say. So it’s kind of a way of stating that something is obvious, you know in a kind of ironic, sarcastic way. You don’t say, yeah, you don’t say, like that…
Yeah okay, that’s it for the idioms and I think that’s about it for this podcast. That pretty much wraps this up. Actually I wonder if there ‘s something I can play to you. I might find an interesting bit of audio which that you can listen to as a bit of fun. I’m gonna think about that but for the meantime it’s goodbye for now.

Okay, I found something for you to listen to. I’m gonna to play you a piece of audio from a television program which was on TV here in the UK a few years ago and basically it’s a kind of News program but it’s not a serious News program. It’s a kind of a joke News program, right? It’s like a spoof of a News show and in this program basically, it looks like the News, it’s sounds like the News, but they have stories on there and the whole thing is actually a bit of a joke and they twist some things to make them funny, okay? So what you’re gonna listen to here is a news reader interviewing a woman about some charity work which she has been doing. Now, the situation is basically, the woman has come into this studio to talk about this charity work. Apparently she has been organizing a jam festival. So, you know, jam is like that staff that is made from fruit and you spread it on your toast in the morning like strawberry jam. So, she is talking about the fact, she organized a jam festival and she raised some money and she used some celebrities in her jam festival. All to raise money for charity but the interviewer is not very impressed by how much money she has made. She has only made a few thousand pounds and so he is very sort of surprised. Only a thousand pounds, that’s ridiculous, that’s pathetic. That’s a
pathetic amount of money and he says to her: ” You could have raised more money by auctioning dogs”, right? Now, to auction is to sell something when people bid a price for something. So, for example you get a big room, an auction room. One person is stand of the front and say, okay so I have this old antique chair. Can we start the bidding please at five hundred pounds. And then people kind of go, 550 got so, 550, so I see 600. 600 to the man in the blue shirt, so I see 650. 650 pounds. 650 pounds to the man with the newspaper and it’s sold for 650 pounds. You know, that kind of, that’s an auction. So he is saying , he raised only a few hundred pounds
for a jam festival. That’s pathetic. You could have raised more money by auctioning dogs. So basically, he is very kind of rude to her but he is very funny. Just because it sounds like the News and then he kind of changes it and it becomes ridiculous. So, I hope you enjoy it. The show is called ” The Day Today” and it’s fantastic.

Thanks a lot for listening. Bye, bye bye, bye, bye…

Full transcript and definitions available below. For itunes users, visit http://teacherluke.podomatic.com

More interviews with native speakers in the centre of London. I asked Londoners to tell me about the best and worst things about London. Here is a transcript to this episode:

Guy on Oxford Street (This guy has a normal London accent)
Luke: What’s the best thing about London?
Man: The best thing about London is there’s a lot to do and a lot of places to go. It’s one of the biggest cities there are in the world so you’ll find a lot of culture and diversity.
Luke: OK. Worst thing?
Man: Everything’s expensive and you can not get a job to save your life, and when you do they pay[s] you nothing.
Luke: Alright, great, thank you very much.
Man: Is that it?
Luke: Yeah, that’s all. Thanks a lot.

Girls in Carnaby Street (These girls are from Australia so they have Australian accents)
Luke: So, where are you from?
Girls: Australia
Luke: Whereabouts in Australia?
Girl 2: It’s a little town called , so
Girl 1: In South Australia, down at the bottom, where the Great Australian Bight is
Luke: Don’t you have beautiful weather and beaches and stuff down there?
Girl 2: We do yeah, umm, Adelaide has really nice beaches. It gets really cold in winter, but yes, during summer it’s really really nice
Girl 1: It’s hot and dry, but it’s good, it’s fun.
Luke: Ok, how long have you been in London?
Girl 2: Umm, five weeks now so not too long at all
Luke: Right. What are you doing here?
Girl 2: We’re just travelling around, just exploring. I guess we always want to be, like, somewhere that we’re not, so we thought we’d just come and check out London, check out the sights, make a working holiday out of it. So, yeah, that’s pretty much it.
Luke: So, in your opinions then, what’s the, what’s actually the best thing about this city?
Girl 1: the best thing, hmm
Luke: Yeah
Girl 2: Nightlife is, nightlife is pretty good, and it’s just lots more opportunity I think for work. We, like, da[nce], like we’re performers so we dance, we sing, we act, so there’s a lot more auditions happening, lots more agencies
Girl 1: More than in Australia
Girl2: So, a lot more happening I guess you could say
Luke: It’s a bit entertainment industry isn’t it, here.
Girls: Yes, it’s huge here.
Luke: What about bad things? What’s the worst thing about London?
Girl 2: We were just discussing that! Far too many people!
Girl: And also, it’s kind of like a very l- rushed lifestyle, like, we’re used to just very chilled out slow pace and everyone’s just rushing off to go somewhere else, and it’s just constant… s’like, yeah
Luke: You have to learn to, sort of, walk twice as fast as normal in London
Girl 1: It kind of gets you a bit stressed out as well, ’cause you’re like “why is everyone, like, overtaking me? Oh my god!” You just try to keep up
Luke: You’ve got to go at, like, twice the normal speed.
Girl 2: Oh, exactly, it’s really like go go go, so, it’s been a bit of an adjustment, ummm
Girl 1: We’re slowly getting used to it
Luke: Alright, great, thank you very much
Girls: Thank you!
Luke: Cheers, bye bye

3 Lads in Carnaby Street
Luke: How’s it going?
Lad 3: Good, how are you?
Luke: Fine thank you. So, do you all live in London?
Lads: yeah
Luke: and did you all grow up here?
Lads: Yeah
Luke: oh hold on, I just need to move back a bit. So, what’s it really like than? Because, I mean, this video is for people who don’t speak English as a first language. They might come to London for a few weeks. But what’s London really like?
Lad 3: it’s a beautiful city on the outside. It’s aesthetics, it’s lovely. The buildings are amazing but it’s more sinister than I’ve found, compared to other cities. People don’t seem to be as friendly, it’s a busy place
Lad 1: No-one talks
Lad 3: People don’t care for each other
Lad 1: it’s a really shit community, running through the whole of London. No one knows each other.
Luke: So, it feels a bit unfriendly
Lad 3: The amount of people you meet on the tube, you should have something, like, everyone should speak to each other, so m-m-more people you would know, rather than not everyone sitting there ignoring each other and suspecting something if they speak to you
Luke: Right, so if someone speaks to you on the tube you just think “who’s this weirdo?”
Lads: yeah
Luke: Ok, alright, umm, I was going to ask you what the worst thing is, but I think you’ve just explained that. What about the best thing, unless you’ve already said that?
Lad 2: The sights
Lad 3: The culture. It’s the history and the culture. You’ve got, you get a proper feel for… it feels different to a lot of other places because the British history and stuff that’s ???
Luke: Ok. Thank you very much guys. Have a nice day
Lad 1: see you later
Lad 3: laters

Man in Chiswick:
Luke: So, err, what’s the best thing about London?
Man: err, best thing is, err, the nightlife, is pretty cool up in London. Especially Leicester Square is very lively and everything like that. Err, and, err, yeah that’s pretty much it!
Luke: Alright, what about the worst thing?
Man: Err, traffic is pretty bad in London, and pollution is pretty bad as well. Like, the way so many cars, there should be a lot more bicycles and areas for people to walk, and a lot more public transport to be used as well
Luke: Okay, great
Man: Thank you, bye
Luke: Cheers
Man: *laughs*

Some definitions of some words/expressions you might not know:
“you can not get a job to save your life” – if you can’t do something to save your life it means you can’t do something even if you try very hard
“sinister” – dangerous and threatening

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This is the continuation of my interview with the German comedian Paco Erhard.

Visit Paco’s website here: www.germancomedy.com

Here are the details of Paco’s Brighton and Edinburgh shows which you must check out!

Brighton Fringe Festival:

9.05., 10.05., 11.05., 16.05., 18.05.2011 – 7.45pm – The Hobgoblin

Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

05.08. – 28.08.2011 – 6pm – Three Sisters / Gothic Room

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Cheers!

Luke

This is the first in a series of 2 interviews with the comedian Paco Erhard.

Paco is originally from Germany but he has lived in America and Spain and he currently lives in London. He speaks 4 languages and is a proficient speaker of English. He is a performer of stand up comedy in both English and German. His show was a big success at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2011.

Paco is a regular performer on the London comedy scene and at the moment he is preparing a big 1 hour comedy show which he will perform at the Edinburgh comedy festival in August this year. The show is called “The 5 Step Guide to Being German” and explores what it really means to be German in the modern world.

Visit his website here: http://www.germancomedy.com
I highly recommend that you see his show if you are in Brighton during May, or in Edinburgh during August.
Here are the dates of his shows:
Brighton Fringe Festival:

9.05., 10.05., 11.05., 16.05., 18.05.2011 – 7.45pm – The Hobgoblin

Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

05.08. – 28.08.2011 – 6pm – Three Sisters / Gothic Room

In this episode, Paco talks about his experiences as a learner of English. He gives some essential advice for anyone hoping to get good at English. Then he talks about his experiences of performing comedy in his 2nd language.

Paco is a great example of someone who has learned English to a very high standard. He is proof that YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

Enjoy the interview. Part 2 is coming soon. If you have any questions, email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

I try to respond to emails when I can but I get a lot of messages these days and I can’t reply to them all!

Cheers,
Luke.
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Listen to an interview with Aaron Ralston, learn about the movie 127 Hours and pick up some useful idioms with the word ‘hand’.

Luke’s English Podcast is completely free and a great way to improve your English. Luke focusses on British English, specifically on natural language which is really used by people in Britain every day. You can learn vocabulary and cultural information.

In this episode, I talk about the film 127 Hours, we listen to an interview with Aaron Ralston (who is the subject of the film) and then I teach you some really useful idioms with the word ‘hand’.

Here are the True or False statements for the interview:

1. The week of April 26 – May 1st 2003 divided his life into two parts.
2. The hike he went on was one of the most extreme and dangerous hikes he had ever done.
3. As he was hiking above a canyon he dislodged a boulder and they both fell into the canyon. The boulder landed on his arm and trapped him in the canyon.
4. He was 5 hours from civilisation.
5. He hadn’t informed anyone of his plan to trek in that area.
6. He realised almost immediately that he was going to starve to death.
7. By the 5th day he had already tried every possible way to escape.
8. By day 5 he was still not convinced that he was going to die there.
9. He wasn’t able to deal with regrets that he had about his life.
10. He had a dream about himself as a boy and he wanted to go back to apologise to himself.
11. He got really angry because he felt he had failed himself.
12. He made a controlled decision to break his bones and to cut his arm off.
13. He was very happy to cut off his arm despite the pain.
14. He took a really good quality photo of his hand before he left.
15. He fell 60ft into a pool of water.
16. He hiked 7 miles even though he was losing strength all the time.
17. He climbed 800ft to his truck and then contacted a helicopterto rescue him.
17. His experience in Blue John canyon totally changed his life forever.

Here are the answers to the True/False statements:
1. The week of April 26 – May 1st 2003 divided his life into two parts. [TRUE]
2. The hike he went on was one of the most extreme and dangerous hikes he had ever done. [FALSE - it was fairly low key]
3. As he was hiking above a canyon he dislodged a boulder and they both fell into the canyon. The boulder landed on his arm and trapped him in the canyon. [TRUE]
4. He was 5 hours from civilisation. [FALSE - he was 'hours' from civilisation]
5. He hadn’t informed anyone of his plan to trek in that area. [TRUE]
6. He realised almost immediately that he was going to starve to death. [FALSE - he realised he was going to die, but by many possible ways - infection, dehydration, flash flood, starvation]
7. By the 5th day he had already tried every possible way to escape. [TRUE]
8. By day 5 he was still not convinced that he was going to die there. [FALSE - he was convinced that he was going to die]
9. He wasn’t able to deal with regrets that he had about his life. [FALSE - he made peace with himself]
10. He had a dream about himself as a boy and he wanted to go back to apologise to himself. [FALSE - he had a dream about his future son]
11. He got really angry because he felt he had failed himself. [FALSE]
12. He made a controlled decision to break his bones and to cut his arm off. [FALSE - he was in a rage - out of control]
13. He was very happy to cut off his arm despite the pain. [TRUE]
14. He took a really good quality photo of his hand before he left. [FALSE - it was a 'good riddance' photo]
15. He fell 60ft into a pool of water. [FALSE - he rappelled 60ft and then found the water]
16. He hiked 7 miles even though he was losing strength all the time. [TRUE]
17. He climbed 800ft to his truck and then contacted a helicopterto rescue him. [FALSE - his truck was an 800ft climb away, but he got rescued by a helicopter]
17. His experience in Blue John canyon totally changed his life forever. [TRUE]

Here are the hand idioms from this podcast. Listen to the episode to get definitions and examples:

1. to be good with your hands
2. to get your hands dirty
3. (get your/keep your) hands off!
4. hands up!
5. to have your hands full
6. in someone’s hands
7. to be in safe hands / in good hands
8. many hands make light work
9. off someone’s hands
10. on someone’s hands
11. out of someone’s hands
12. take something off someone’s hands
13. with your bare hands
14. give him a (big) hand
15. you’ve got to hand it to him
16. to hand something to someone
17. to hand something out
18. a handout
19. a hand-me-down
20. handed down from generation to generation
21. handy (adj)
22. on the one hand / on the other hand
23. I know it like the back of my hand
24. to shake hands
25. holding hands / hand in hand

That’s it!

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TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE JUST CLICK HERE – LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST

Hi! Learn some really useful idioms and listen to an authentic interview with a native speaker in this episode of Luke’s English Podcast.

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This episode is about The King’s Speech – an excellent film which recently won 4 Academy Awards at The Oscars, including the award for Best Actor for Colin Firth. In the film Colin Firth plays the part of King George VI, who had to overcome a strong stammer and become a stong leader of Great Britain at the beginning of The 2nd World War. A stammer is a speech problem which makes the stammerer (the person who has the stammer) unable to produce words or sentences clearly. For some stammerers, it is almost impossible to speak without long pauses and the inability to produce some words clearly. Basically, it prevents many people from speaking and therefore has a strongly negative affect on their lives. There are millions of people in the world who suffer from a stammer, and their struggle is not often discussed or understood fully. The King’s Speech is a very high profile movie, and has brought the subject of stammering back into the public eye.

This is quite a long episode with lots of detail and content. Here is what to expect from the episode:
A. Some background information to the story of The Kings Speech
B. An interview with a member of the British Stammering Association, which is a charity for people who have a stammer. In the interview he talks about the story of King George VI, the importance of the film for stammerers, and the subject of stammering. I explain what the man says in the interview, and clarify it for you
C. Useful vocabulary: I teach you some commonly used idioms which feature the words ‘mouth’ and ‘tongue’

This is definitely a useful podcast episode! You should listen to all of it several times to really get the benefit of it.

A. Some background information:
The King’s Speech is a true story of King George VI and his struggle with a speech impediment, or ‘stammer’. Here is a definition of ‘stammer’ from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (which is available free online here http://dictionary.cambridge.org/):

stammer
verb /ˈstæm.ər/
Definition
to speak or say something with unusual pauses or repeated sounds, either because of speech problems or because of fear and anxiety
[+ speech] “Wh-when can we g-go?” she stammered.
He dialled 999 and stammered (out) his name and address.
Synonym: stutter

stammer
noun [C usually singular]
Robert has a bit of a stammer.
(Definition of stammer verb from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary)

In the film, prince George has suffered from a very strong stammer ever since he could speak. His family would correct and punish him when he stammered. As a result, George suffers from a terrible lack of confidence, particularly when speaking in public. He cannot speak in publis as it causes him to stammer uncontrollably, causing total shame and embarrassment to all around. When he addresses the public it is a shocking and disappointing failure on a national level. This happened at a time when people were not sympathetic to someone with speech problems and in a king it would have been a huge sign of weakness. But, George must become the King when his country is about to go to war with Germany, so he has to learn to overcome his speech impediment in order to regularly address the public over the radio.

So, he takes speech therapy from a therapist called Lionel Logue. It is a tremendous struggle but together they manage to develop a relationship (between a king an an ‘ordinary’ man) which helps the king to learn to speak to the public in a confident manner. It’s a fantastic film about human struggle, challenge and bravery.

Here’s the trailer for the film:

B. The interview with a member of the British Stammering Association
This is an interview with a man who has a stammer. He has obviously overcome his speech problem and you can hear in this interview that he is now a clear speaker of English. Sometimes he has difficulty with individual words, but it does not prevent us from understanding what he says.

Here are the questions I ask you before the interview on the podcast: (you will find the answers further down the page)
1. How many high profile stemmerers have we had in the UK since George VI died in 1952?
2. How many decent films about stammerers have there been?
3. How have stammerers been shown in films?
4. What does The Kings Speech show people who don’t stammer?
5. Is the film historically accurate?
6. What do we know about stammering now?
7. Was the stammer caused by something that happened during his childhood?
8. How did his family and staff deal with George’s stammer?
9. How did this make him feel?
10. With today’s knowledge, what is the best way to help people with stammers?
11. What did George VI’s therapist do that the speaker’s (interviewee’s) therapist didn’t do?
12. What made George VI a difficult client?
13. What will The King’s Speech do for stammerers and non stammerers?
14. What is the danger about the near future?

Here is a video of the interview (it starts after 20 seconds): Answers below

Answers:
1. How many high profile stammerers have we had in the UK since George VI died in 1952?
(None)
2. How many decent films about stammerers have there been? (none)
3. How have stammerers been shown in films? (they have been shown as figures of fun)
4. What does The Kings Speech show people who don’t stammer? (it shows how life can be if you do)
5. Is the film historically accurate? (yes – it’s a fairly realistic reenactment)
6. What do we know about stammering now? (it’s a symptom of a condition in which the brain’s neural circuits for speech have not wired normally)
7. Was the stammer caused by something that happened during his childhood? (no – he was probably born with it)
8. How did his family and staff deal with George’s stammer? (they corrected him and punished him)
9. How did this make him feel? (very self conscious and tense about speaking)
10. With today’s knowledge, what is the best way to help people with stammers? (early intervention)
11. What did George VI’s therapist do that the speaker’s (interviewee’s) therapist didn’t do? (he encouraged him to swear – to say rude words like f*ck and sh*t)
12. What made George VI a difficult client? (his upbringing had made him reluctant to discuss anything personal)
13. What will The King’s Speech do for stammerers and non stammerers? What will The King’s Speech do for stammerers and non-stammerers? (it will give them permission to talk to each other about stammering – “for all our sakes, please grasp it with both hands, talk about it”)
14. What is the danger about the near future? (after a while, stammering will slip back into being inaudible and invisible – “please stay tuned”)

Here is some information about the video interview:
n The King’s Speech, Colin Firth did an incredibly realistic job of conveying how it is to be stuck in a block with no control over your speech. No major film had ever done that before, and I’m sure it has been helpful in terms of creating greater awareness of something which is largely inaudible and invisible in our society.

But there is still a great deal of ignorance about why we stammer, and very inaccurate assumptions are made about our characters. We are not ideally equipped to stand up and change these misconceptions, but we need to try. The King’s Speech has given everyone – stammerers and non-stammerers – a kind of ‘permission’ to talk to each other about stammering. It has been the best opportunity, almost in living memory, for this often embarrassing subject to be discussed openly and on such a broad scale. So, for all of our sakes, please keep talking about it!

For an interview with Colin Firth about his role as the King, please go to www.stammering.org/colinfirth.html And for more information on The Monster Study, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_study

If you want to know more about the National Appeal for Change, or to make a donation, please go to www.stammering.org/change

If you want to talk about helping in some other way, please send a message to Leys Geddes through the speakingout2 channel on YouTube or by emailing chair@stammering.org

If you are in the UK, and want help with your speech, please ring the British Stammering Association helpline on 0845 603 2001 or visit www.stammering.org

The BSA is the national charity and is run by people who stammer, for the benefit of all those whose lives are affected by stammering.

If you live outside the UK, and want advice about stammering/stuttering – or simply want to learn more – you can still go to www.stammering.org or to any of these other leading sites: www.stutterisa.org (International Stuttering Association), www.stutteringhelp.org (USA), www.stutteringhomepage.org (USA) or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stammering.

If you like to see an adaptation of this video, spoken in Swedish, please go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB9TDLkovm4

C. Useful Vocabulary – Idioms with the words ‘mouth’ and ‘tongue’
I thought it would be appropriate to teach you some commonly used fixed expressions which feature these two parts of the body which are so important for speech. Here are the idioms with examples and definitions. All this for free? You lucky people!

“Me and my big mouth!”
-use this when you have said something you shouldn’t have said, like when you give away a secret by accident. “Oh, me and my big mouth!”

“to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth”
-this means to be born into a rich family. It is often used to complain about people who are born into a rich life.
“Prince William doesn’t know what it is like to work hard like normal people. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

“don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”
-use this to say that you should accept a gift without checking it for problems first. Don’t look for problems in the gift too much, just accept it. “I didn’t want to accept my uncle’s old car, but he told me not to look a gift horse in the mouth”

“live from hand to mouth’
-this is when someone lives on very little money – they spend the money they earn and can’t save anything. “There’s no way we can go on holiday this year, we are living from hand to mouth”

“melt in your mouth”
-use this to describe delicious food that is so soft and tender that it feels like it is melting in your mouth. “The steak here is so delicious, it just melts in your mouth”

“put your money where your mouth is”
-show that you really mean what you say, by doing it rather than just talking about it. “You’re always talking about running a marathon, so come on, put your money where your mouth is. Why don’t you run the London Marathon with me next year?”

“Keep your mouth shut! / Shut your mouth!”
-this means ‘shut up’ or ‘don’t way anything’. It’s a bit rude. “When the police arrive, just keep your mouth shut, all right?!”

“to leave a bad taste in your mouth”
-for food it means that it tastes disgusting and the bad taste stays in your mouth. We can also use it to describe a bad experience, which leaves us feeling bad afterwards. “The argument just left a bad taste in my mouth”

“Watch your mouth!”
-be careful what you say!

“by word of mouth”
-use this to say that information is transferred by people talking to each other. “Publicity for the film spread by word of mouth”

“to put words into someone’s mouth”
-this means to suggest that someone has said something which in fact they haven’t said. “I didn’t say that! You’re putting words into my mouth!”

“to bite your tongue”
-this means that you stop yourself saying something
“When he asked me about the missing biscuits, I just bit my tongue and kept quiet”

“has the cat got your tongue?”
-use this to challenge someone who is unable to say something, keeping quiet
“So, what about the missing biscuits then? Huh? What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

“mother tongue”
-your first language
“English is not his mother tongue”

“on the tip of my tongue”
-this means you can’t quite remember the word – you can nearly remember it
“What’s his name? Errrmmmm…. wait, I can remember… oh! It’s on the tip of my tongue! Oh, no, I can’t remember”

So, that is it for this episode. There’s a lot of content here for you. I recommend you listen to this episode several times. Try to use the idioms and other words you have learned here. Use them in conversation, or just say a few sentences to yourself. Personalise the sentences. Use the idioms to talk about your own life and experience. This will help you learn it.

You could donate some money to me to help me with the podcast, but really I think it would be better to donate money to help people in Japan who are suffering from the terrible tsunami which struck last week. There are many many people who have no food, shelter or electricity. Search on google for your local charity organisation, or give money here http://www.redcross.org.uk/japantsunami/?approachcode=68816_googlePAD10JpTs&gclid=CNqNvd-70acCFdFX4QodMVXiDA .
You could save some lives.

Thanks for listening.

Luke

An interview with comedian, actor and musician Billy Connelly who comes from Scotland.

Practise listening to more samples of British English, in particular the scottish accent in this episode. Billy Connelly comes from Glasgow and is one of the UK’s favourite comedians. He is also an actor who has appeared in Hollywood films (such as Mrs Brown with Judy Dench).

In this podcast you will listen to an interview with Billy on a television show presented by Clive James (an Australian born writer and comedian). Also in the interview you will hear Sir David Attenborough who speaks classic BBC English.

Listen to the interview
Try to understand Billy, Clive and Sir David
Keep listening and I will explain the things they said in more detail
Enjoy the experience of listening!
The interview begins at about 13 minutes in. The first 13 minutes is just me TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT NOT VERY MUCH AT ALL, as I usually do in these podcasts. I do apologise for talking and talking in such a boring way sometimes. Perhaps I should talk less, but I suppose that is why you download this podcast, so you can listen to a native speaker talking fluently to you, a learner of English. I guess you could just imagine that you’re in a pub with a boring person, but a boring person who keeps speaking English to you, in quite a clear voice.

You can watch the video of this interview on YouTube here. The internet is a wonderful thing (in the right hands).

Tapescript
Dear listeners – if you think you can do it, please provide a transcript to the interview (13.30-ish). It would be a good listening exercise for you, and it would benefit other learners of English who really need the transcript. Learners of English – COME TOGETHER! And help each other. Send interview transcripts to luketeacher@hotmail.com

Thank you very much to people who send me messages of encouragement. I am very glad that so many people like the podcast and use it to improve their English. It’s fantastic to know that it really does make a difference to your English.

Enjoy the podcast, and if you feel like it, send me a small donation via PayPal – it will help me to pay Podomatic.com every month. CLICK HERE TO DONATE VIA PAYPAL.

Best regards!

Luke

TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE, CLICK HERE

An interview with a native speaker from Scotland. We talk about Scottish culture and stereotypes, and features of scottish accents.

Use this episode to develop your cultural understanding of the English language, and to practise identifying and understanding different accents.

THERE IS NOW A FULL TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE BELOW (Provided by listeners to the podcast – thanks!)

I sometimes write transcripts for these interviews, but they take a lot of time and I have to listen to the recording very carefully in order to write every single word correctly. When I’m transcribing an interview, I often think that it would be a very useful exercise for learners. So, if you really want some intensive listening practice, why don’t you try writing a transcript for this episode? Send me what you write and I will check it and then post it here. *I HAVE ALREADY BEEN SENT PART 1 OF A TRANSCRIPT – KINDLY SUBMITTED BY LENA FROM UKRAINE – THANKS LENA!*

Lena has transcribed about half the recording. If anyone else would like to do the 2nd half, it would be greatly appreciated.

UPDATE: Thank you very much to Dr Olga Polikina (I don’t know where you’re from Olga!) who sent me a transcript to the second part of the interview. Thank you Olga, that is very good of you!

Writing transcripts for my episodes is a great way for you to repay me for doing these free podcasts. Also it would be very good for your English, and it would be really helpful for other users of this podcast. So please feel free to write transcripts for me!

HELLO TO ALL MY LISTENERS WHO SEND ME EMAILS! It’s a real pleasure to get them. I’m very sorry to those who I didn’t reply to. I get a lot of emails and I don’t have a chance to reply to them all. Also, sorry if I can’t write a full length reply to all your emails. It is great to hear from you though, so please continue to write to me!

SPECIAL HELLO TO PEOPLE WHO DONATE! Thank you very much. You’re helping me to continue doing this. Donations keep this website alive. I get 20,000+ downloads per month, but I get almost no donations! All I am asking for is enough to help me pay podomatic.com for the website. I pay about $25 dollars a month (quite a lot because Luke’s English Podcast uses a lot of bandwidth). So, even if you just donate a couple of dollars it would be enough I think.

Good luck with learning this crazy language and watch out for more episodes soon.

Bye bye bye bye bye bye!

INTERVIEW WITH LESLEY, TRANSCRIPT PART 1
Conversation between Luke and Leslie:

Luke: Whereabouts are you from?
Leslie: Well, I’m actually from Dundee, which is probably the third biggest city in Scotland.
Luke: Right
Leslie: And it’s on the east coast, it’s just a bit further north than Edinburgh, about an hour really in the train
Luke: Right, okay. And…but you’re living in England at the moment
Leslie: Yes, yes
Luke: How long have you been here?
Leslie: I’ve been in London… well, this is actually my third time here, living here, but more recently this is probably year three of living here.
Luke: Right, okay. So, let’s see, I thought that I’d ask you then it’s considering you’ve been living here for a few years…I think it’s okay, still working
Leslie: Okay
Luke: Yes, it’s still recording.. ‘cause you’ve been living here for a few years now, right? what’s… have you noticed any differences between life in England and life in Scotland?
Leslie: Well, in my case it’s a little complicated because I actually left Scotland when I was about … um, let me think, I finished university there and then I came to London for the first time and I was probably about twenty-one at the time. And I lived here for a couple of years, and then I went to Brazil
Luke: Really?
Leslie: And I stayed there for twenty years
Luke: I didn’t know that
Leslie: Yeah, that’s right
Luke: Really, whereabouts did you stay in Brazil?
Leslie: Eh, most of my time I spent in Brasilia, the capital, but the last couple of years we were in San Paulo before coming back to Britain
Luke: Do you speak Portuguese?
Leslie: Oh yes, I speak Portuguese at home
Luke: Do you really? At home?
Leslie: Yeah
Luke: So your husband is Portuguese?
Leslie: No, it’s even more complicated! I met my husband in Brazil but he’s from Iran
Luke: He’s from Iran? Okay, so you speak Portuguese to each other
Leslie: We speak Portuguese to each other, ‘cause when I met him, he didn’t speak English!
Luke: I see, I see
Leslie: So we both started the relationship both speaking horrific Portuguese
Luke: Right, but now you speak fluent Portuguese
Leslie: Now we both speak fluent Portuguese and our children of course were brought up there, so they’re bilingual really
Luke: Right, wow
Leslie: but Portuguese is the language at home
Luke: Wow, that’s amazing… So, do you speak Portuguese with the Scottish accent?
Leslie: I don’t think so but a Brazilian would probably say that we are definitely foreigners
Luke: Yeah
Leslie: but I don’t speak as bad Portuguese as an English person might speak it
Luke: Yeah, okay… because…
Leslie: Sorry
Luke: That’s alright… because…
Leslie: I think basically because Scottish is a bit harder and it’s much better for Portuguese… the sounds are quite strong and so I think it makes it easier
Luke: Right, I see. Well, so, okay. So you’ve lived in Brazil for most of your time…
Leslie: A lot of my life was spent there… but coming back to Britain, I think… One thing that strikes me is that your Scottish accent never really leaves you, now I don’t know how deliberate that is. I do remember as a young person trying to hide my Scottish accent
Luke: Right. Why? Why would you do that?
Leslie: Exactly, this I can’t really work out, but I think I probably just wanted to fit in with everybody else
Luke: Yeah
Leslie: So I trying to dilute it a bit, and also I was teaching, so I had to be sure that I wasn’t teaching all my Brazilian students “a wee boy” instead of “a little boy”
Luke: Okay. That’s interesting because it kind of raises the idea of what kind of English should we teach
Leslie: Exactly – should it be the standard BBC English or are we allowed to speak the English we know
Luke: Right. I suppose, I mean, it seems that most people, most of us teachers have decided that there’s a kind of standard BBC style, RP, kind of English that we should teach
Leslie: I think you’re right, Luke, I think so
Luke: But nevertheless I think when students, for example, come to England, when they listen to people speaking English, sometimes they’re kind of shocked by the fact that they don’t understand something. And they think “I met this man in the pub and I can understand everything you’re saying Luke, but this guy – I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. I think he was from Scotland”. So they always say is that “Oh, I think he must be from Scotland”
Leslie: The people that they don’t understand, must be Scottish
Luke: Exactly, yeah
Leslie: Well, I know, I know
Luke: So I guess from the point of view of our students we’ve got at least show them all the different other variations of English that they can have come across
Leslie: Exactly, and the more they’re exposed to these differences the better it is for them
Luke: Yeah, they might choose to speak in a kind of BBC English style but they should at least know or be aware of the different styles of English
Leslie: Exactly
Luke: Okay, alright, then I guess that now we’re talking about accents, aren’t we?
Leslie: Yes, that’s what we’re doing
Luke: Is it fair when people say that there’s a Scottish accent? Like people say “Oh, I think he had a Scottish accent” Is that fair to say that?
Leslie: Well, I think it’s probably true, because even I, when I’m listening to people and I know they are obviously Scottish, I don’t necessarily know where they’re from, which part of Scotland they’re from
Luke: But you know that they’re Scottish
Leslie: All the time, and I will always recognize event a slight Scottish lilt, because it’s quite distinctive. I think the biggest difference in Scotland is the difference between East and West, and I think that’s the obvious difference, and I think most people will pick that up if they’re exposed to Scottish English in any way
Luke: Okay, so is Glasgow in the west and Edinburgh in the east end?
Leslie: That’s right
Luke: I see. ??? 13:56
Leslie: But anyone from the west, and it could be anywhere, and I never would automatically get it right, anybody in the west will always say something like ???
Luke: Okay, right.

Leslie: That’s right.
Luke: I see.
Leslie: Yeah…
Luke: Really my knowledge of …
Leslie: But anyone from the West … and it could be anywhere and I would never automatically get it right. Anybody in the West will always say something like “oh, so you’re gonna away for the weekend”.
Luke: Ok.
Leslie: That’s the kind of sound it is. All is ee and ee.
Luke: “So you are gonna away for the weekend”
Leslie: That’s it!
Luke: Ok.
Leslie: Whereas on the East coast I think… I think… I don’t know if I’m being fair here, because I’m an Eastern person, but I think it’s a bit more musical. It’s not so much e ee, but it’s more like… more like singing. So we go up and down a little more. So we kind of bounce along and try to pronounce things in the right way.
Luke: Ok.
Leslie: So it sounds a little more pleasant to the ear.
Luke: You’re saying basically that the East of Scotland is better than the West.
Leslie: Well, obviously, Luke! This is my opportunity to get it out there!
Luke: Ok. Hm… All right. So, you could say then … East, well, East is a bit more singsong or something like that.
Leslie: Yes, it’s a little more musical, I think it’s a little more pleasing to the ear. But, of course, there are … there are people from my home city that I cannot understand …
Luke: Right.
Leslie: Because they just refuse to speak any English that anybody can recognize. And it can be horrible.
Luke: Right. So you get I suppose… There are … I mean just like there are all over the country in Scotland you get dialects which are kind of region-specific…
Leslie: Yes.
Luke: To an … to a certain extent, and when you get those extreme dialects, they can be… they are so far removed from received pronunciation that they can be difficult to understand.
Leslie: That’s right, that’s right.
Luke: And just like in any other part of the country, you get that in Scotland.
Leslie: You do, indeed. I think you would also have to say that there are specific vocabulary words which are different.
Luke: Hm, yeah.
Leslie: Mm… Just as I said before the “wee”…
Luke: Yeah, wee…That I hear… That … That’s something that I recognize in Scottish sort of dialect of whatever.
Leslie: Yes, and it seems to be becoming fashionable. I hear a lot of Americans saying it now.
Luke: Oh, yeah, yeah…
Leslie: “A wee boy”
Luke: Oh, yeah…
Leslie: It does sound a little strange when an American says that…
Luke: I guess, an … a lot of Americans kind of think “Oh, you know, I’m gonna get back to my roots. You know, you know, my great… My great grandfather’s uncle was Scottish, so, you know, I like to use “wee” cause it… It, you know, brings me back to my heritage. I can’t speak a very good at…
Leslie: Yes, but it’s true. People strangely enough love to thing that they have Scottish origins, and I’m not sure why.
Luke: I’d a friend from New Zealand and she used to say “wee” things.
Leslie: Oh, really?
Luke: And she used to use bits of sort of Scottish English.
Leslie: Yes…
Luke: But I think that may be because in New Zealand there’s a lot of… Lot of Scottish people populated New Zealand, so…
Leslie: The Scotts have gone very far all over the world. And I think anybody who has any kind of connection to Scotland will… will really appreciate it much more than I possibly would do. So…
Luke: Right.
Leslie: So it’s quite funny there…
Luke: Ok. So… All right. So… Can you give me any more examples of … accent
Leslie: Yes. I think the Scottish accent is basically… You’ve… The “r” sound when we are talking about my new dress which is bright red.
Luke: Right.
Leslie: I think a Scottish person would quite… quite normally say “bright red”. So we do roll “r”s a little. We don’t do it an awful lot. You know, you hear comedians talking about brrrright. I don’t think anybody actually ever says that, but we do do it once. Bright. We give a bit of a snick if you like.
Luke: A bit of a roll. More…
Leslie: Yeah, that’s right.
Luke: More than me. Cause I would…I wouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t say “bright”, I’d never say “bright”, “bright red”.
Leslie: No, because it’s… it’s lot of tongue work in fact, when you have to roll the “r” to “bright, bright”.
Luke: So, that’s the one feature of Scottish tongue.
Leslie: Yes. I think so. I think another difference might be… there are four words that an English person might say in two different groups. If you look at “bath”: “every day I have a bath”…
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: “And I like to have a good laugh with my friends.” Now in Scotland we would probably not make the difference between “bath” and “man”, because we say “bath”. “I’m going to have a bath”, “I’d like to have a laugh”,
Luke: Yeah…
Leslie: And “I’ve met a man”, and “it was a trap”. So in fact that “a” sound is all the same in Scotland.
Luke: So, so in… in England we say “bath”, “laugh”, but then we say “man” and “trap”, so…
Leslie: That’s right. So you have two different sounds with “a”.
Luke: Words like… Yeah… So, it’s like in… in many parts of the North of England, as well, they did the same thing.
Leslie: That’s right. You don’t have this…
Luke: So, let’s say “bath”… “I’m gonna have a bath”…
Leslie: That’s it. And then I’m going out to the pub and have a laugh.
Luke: Yeah, I’m gonna have a right laugh with me mates and then I’m gonna go home and have a bath… But they… they wouldn’t say “man” …
Leslie: And then I’m going home and feed a man….
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: Exactly!
Luke: So… That’s actually something that divides the whole of Britain. It’s not just S… Well, it’s… I mean, it’s somewhere in… somewhere around Birmingham …
Leslie: Noth-South divide I think…
Luke: Divides the South and North of Britain as a whole.
Leslie: That’s right, that’s right, I think that’s true.
Luke: People in the South say “bath” and “laugh”, and in the North they’d say “bath” and “laugh”.
Leslie: That’s right, that’s right.
Luke: All right. Anything else?
Leslie: Ehh… Another thing I was reading about recently. Funnily enough the Scottish accent seems to be becoming a bit more fashionable than it used to be.
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: And in a recent survey I saw that a Scottish accent is desirable in business…
Luke: Really?
Leslie: Conveying above average honesty in the personality of the owner.
Luke: Right.
Leslie: Now, that’s an interesting one.
Luke: That is interesting… Hm, I…
Leslie: Considering the banking …
Luke: Disaster…
Leslie: Exactly! More recently with big Scottish banks collapsing…
Luke: Royal Bank of Scotland.
Leslie: That’s right.
Luke: But that’s interesting, because… yeah… I heard that too, that the Scottish accent conveys a kind of sense of trustworthiness particularly around money.
Leslie: Exactly! That’s what they say. Yes, for any financial reports or serious money matters they do prefer a Scottish accent, because it seems to promote sobriety, that’s…
Luke: But…
Leslie: And that’s a laugh in itself
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: Most people think that Scottish people are drunk all the time.
Luke: That’s … that’s a cliché or a stereotype of the Scottish is that they drink a lot
Leslie: That’s right.
Luke: But another cliché is that they er… hold onto their money.
Leslie: Oh, yes! Stinginess.
Luke: Right.
Leslie: Oh, yes. We are renowned for this, and funnily enough, I only ever heard that Scottish people were tightfisted or stingy when I went to Brazil.
Luke: Right.
Leslie: I had never heard this before.
Luke: Well, you only kind of realize it when you step outside, you know, the world you live in.
Leslie: That’s right, that’s right. And in fact, if you… if you think about it historically, I suppose, that is certain amount of truth in it, because Scottish people have always been the impoverished cousin of the English. So I suppose they never had a lot of money.
Luke: Yeah, yeah.
Leslie: So…
Luke: They kept hold of what they have in case the English came and stole it from them.
Leslie: Exactly.
Luke: It’s true, cause my … my bank, Lloyd TSB, right…
Leslie: Yeah?
Luke: They got phone -back service, and whenever I phone them up, it’s always a Scottish person.
Leslie: Is it really?
Luke: And I’m sure they’ve employed Scottish people for that reason, or may be that they might’ve done… But every time I call them they say “Welcome to TSB phone bank. And…”
Leslie: “This is Maggie speaking. How can I help?”
Luke: “How can I help you with your money, Mr. Thompson?” And it does make me think “Oh, I’m in safe hands here”.
Leslie: All right, yes. It is possibly true. And in fact I think it is true. I do… I do… Possibly, because I’m Scottish, but when I do hear a Scottish voice on the phone, I think “Oh, well, mate, just let’s stop talking about whatever we were talking about. Where’re you from? And how do you doing down here?” It is quite interesting.
Luke: Yes.
Leslie: Another … another er… wonder… I always forget until I go home, and I soon as go home I start saying it is the word “Aye”.
Luke: Um-hm. Right.
Leslie: So we use the word “Aye” all the time when we’re agreeing with somebody.
Luke: All right.
Leslie: So obviously it just means yes. So, “aye”. “Are you going to the pub tonight?” “Aye, I think I will”.
Luke: Right.
Leslie: That’s… it’s, it’s a homely word for me. And as soon as I go home I start saying it.
Luke: It’s a sort of thing you’d see in a kind of … Advertises use it, don’t they, to kind of drop an image like in advertisement for some whiskey or something.
Leslie: Oh, yes.
Luke: “Would you like a wee drop of whiskey?” “Aye, I would”
Leslie: “Och aye”. And that’s another interesting part. The … the sound of “och”
Luke: Och.
Leslie: Now English people find that very hard.
Luke: What does “Oh aye” mean?
Leslie: It just means “Oh, yes!”
Luke: Right.
Leslie: So “Och” just means “yes”.
Luke: There is a cliché, isn’t there, that Scottish people say “Oh aye, the noo”? “Och aye, the noo!” But what does that…? Do people say that in Scotland?
Leslie: No! I’ve never said it in my life and I never will! But it’s just one of these little clichés that has appeared.
Luke: So, and “Och aye” just means “Oh yes”?
Leslie: That’s right, that’s right.
Luke: Ok, ok.
Leslie: So I still keep on saying “och” quite frequently, but I’ve dropped the “aye”, but…
Luke: Yeah, so if I said to you, for example “Oh, it’s a lovely day, isn’t it, today?”
Leslie: Yes, it is, Luke, you’re right! I’ve been here too long, obviously, Luke, it’s time to go home, I think.
Luke: Ok, it’s the English way of saying it.
Leslie: Yeah.
Luke: Ok. Right. I think we’re pretty much done here. It’s very interesting to hear from genuine Scottish person, even someone who spent most of their time in Brazil.
Leslie: Exactly. I fled my home as soon as I could. But no, no… It’s funnily enough though, I do often think about going back to Scotland.
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: Having been away, and it’s only when you go back, that you see how, how beautiful it is!
Luke: Yeah.
Leslie: I mean if you think how many people actually live in Scotland.
Luke: Hm.
Leslie: The population of the UK is about sixty-five million now or more. And how many people live in Scotland?
Luke: Not many. It’s about ten or fifteen per cent.
Leslie: Five, five million.
Luke: Really?
Leslie: And if you think of the geographical size of the country, it’s not that much smaller than England, but most of it just mountains and sheep.
Luke: I mean, it’s… if you want wilderness in the UK, than Scotland is the place to go.
Leslie: Oh, that’s where you should go, that’s where to go, exactly.
Luke: And you have … you have mountains and you’ve got weather, you’ve got like… the sky is incredible in Scotland.
Leslie: Well, the sky is something to see, but the weather is not our most famous advertisement slogan.
Luke: It’s even more extreme or even more changeable than the English weather.
Leslie: Oh yes!
Luke: People come to London and complain about the weather, but that’s nothing compared to…
Leslie: Put them on a train to Scotland, Luke, and they’ll know what weather is.
Luke: Ok. All right.
Leslie: Good.
Luke: Thank you very much, Leslie. It was …
Leslie: You are very welcome, Luke. It was nice to speak to you.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE

I’m joined by my old college friend Neil Waters in this episode. First we talk about the Birmingham accent, and then we teach you some useful phrasal verbs.

This is not a full transcript for the conversation with Neil, but below you can read some notes about Neil, Birmingham accent, the phrasal verbs and their definitions.

My friend Neil – he’s an old friend. We’ve known each other for 17 years, we went to college and university together, and we’ve played music in several bands. Neil lives in Birmingham, which is an area in the middle of England, about 200 miles north of London. The area around Birmingham is called The Midlands, although some people in London consider it to be in The North of the country!

The Birmingham accent. In the midlands people tend to speak with a certain accent which is specific to that region. There are a few types of Birmingham accent – someone from Wolverhampton sounds a bit different from someone from Solihull, but most of them share the same basic features.

People often say that the Birmingham accent rises and falls a lot. People in Birmingham also pronounce the “a” sound in words like “grass” “bath” and “laugh” using the short /æ/ sound (like in “cat”), which is typical of accents from areas in the north of England. In the south people pronounce “grass” “glass” “half” etc with a longer /a:/ sound (like in “car” “far”).

The best way to understand what the Birmingham accent sounds like is to listen to people from Birmingham speaking. I will do a podcast with real examples of the Birmingham accent for you soon. In the meantime, you can do searches for famous people with Birmingham accents (Ozzy Osbourne – lead singer of Black Sabbath, Jeff Lynne from ELO, comedian Jasper Carrot and comedian Frank Skinner). Listen to them and they way they speak. Can you hear the accent?

12 Phrasal Verbs:

Here are the phrasal verbs Neil and I talked about. They all come from pages 1 and 2 of the Cambridge Phrasal Verbs Dictionary, which is an excellent and very useful book. All the phrasal verbs begin with the letter ‘a’.

1. to aim to do something – “With this podcast we’re aiming to make something really useful for learners of English” = to try to achieve something

2. to aim at something – “We’re aiming at making a really useful podcast” = to try to achieve something (same as 1. above)

3. to act something out – “we’re going to act out some phrasal verbs for you” = to perform the actions of a word, speech or story / to express your thoughts by performing them

4. to amount to – “What is this podcast going to amount to? This podcast really amounts to a great collection of recordings for learners of English” = to become a particular amount / to become something

5. to allow for something – “The whole journey should take 5 hours, and that’s allowing for delays” = to include something when you’re making a judgement

6. to ache for something – “People are aching for a podcast with such fantastic useful vocabulary!” = to want something or someone very much

7. to account for something – “She was unable to account for the missing $5000 dollars. She couldn’t explain where the money was” = to explain the reason or cause for something

8. to add up to something – “what this podcast really adds up to is a fantastic resource for learners of English” = to become a particular amount / to have a particular result or effect

9. to add something up – “If you add up all the podcast, you’ll see there is a lot of useful content there” = to calculate the total of something , (“the facts don’t add up” = the facts don’t make sense, like a maths equation that doesn’t produce the right number)

10. to agree with someone – “I totally agree with you” = to have the same opinion as someone

11. to allude to something – “I’m not going to explain that, I’m just going to allude to it” “She alluded to the problems she’s having at home” = to mention something in an indirect way

12. to act up – “Neil didn’t act up too much” “The kids acted up all evening, it was a nightmare” = to behave badly

That’s all folks!

If you have any questions about that, send me an email. luketeacher@hotmail.com

TO LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE, CLICK HERE

First in a series of episodes about accents. Learn differences between accents from the UK. This is information that all learners of English need to know!

Click here to listen to my previous episode about British and American Pronunciation.

Here are the notes which I used to record this podcast episode. It’s not a transcript, but I do read from these notes during the episode.

Accents and Dialects:

I’m going to do a series of podcasts about accents. I’ve already done one about British and American accents, but I think accents are fascinating and a lot of fun so I’m going to do more. They are also very important for you, because:
-You need to be aware of different styles of English
-You shouldn’t listen to just ONE style of English because there’s a wide range of ways to say the same thing
-You need to be aware of the different sounds in English and what they mean
-You need to choose the accent you want, and then copy it
-You need to be able to understand different accents when you hear them

One of the most interesting things for me about accents is what and accent can tell you about a person. When I hear someone speak, their accent immediately gives me lots of associations. Just the sound of someone’s voice might tell me; their social class, which part of the country they are from, if they’re from the town or countryside, what their background might be, what their attitudes might be.

Obviously we shouldn’t judge people by their accents, and these are just pre-conceptions but the point is, I get all these associations but learners of English don’t. They can’t tell if someone is from the north or south or what social class they might come from. Native speakers usually can.

I’m interested in bridging that gap between what a native speaker knows/understands about accents and what a learner knows/understands.

Firstly, what is an accent and what is a dialect. A dialect is the usage or vocabulary that is characteristic of a specific group of people. An accent is the way in which a language is pronounced. So, dialect is differences in vocabulary and accent is differences in pronunciation.

Secondly, how many accents can you find in the UK? There are lots! At least 10.

How many accents are there in the world? Again, there are lots. Between different English speaking countries, and also within those countries. There are lots of ways of saying the same sentence in English!

Is it true that there is such thing as a British accent and an American accent? It’s not true that there is just one American or British accent. There are so many in America and so many in Britain but you can group accents as ‘British’ because they share many features and come from Britain. You can do the same for America too. But there is not just 1 British accent or 1 American accent.

There are general differences between British and American accents, and I’ve been into this before in previous podcasts. Click here to listen to my previous episode about British and American Pronunciation. . The differences include the /t/ sound, the /r/ sound, the /ɑ/ sound and the fact that American English often sounds more nasal.

If we focus on the UK we can see lots of different accents that are linked closely with different regions and cultures in the UK.

The standard accent which is used by the BBC World Service, Oxford & Cambridge dictionaries and the commonly used phonemic chart is called RP (received pronunciation) or BBC English. This is a standard form without a specific region. It’s traditionally associated with educated people who speak ‘correctly’. These days we’re more politically correct so any accent is ‘correct’ but RP is considered to be clear and non-region specific. I would say that it is more common in the south. I would also say that I speak with an RP accent with a few traces of accents I have picked up, particularly the Birmingham accent, because I lived there for a few years.

Then there are regional accents. I can’t go into great detail, but I will run through a few. There will be more podcasts in which I play you real samples of these accents. Here’s a list of different accents from the UK: Cornwall, Bristol (South West), London, East Anglia, Midlands (Birmingham), Wales, Liverpool, Manchester, Yorkshire, Newcastle, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland.

In the next few episodes I will play you extracts of different accents and highlight their features. Hopefully you’ll get familiar with a range of accents.

An interesting video in which an actor goes around the map of England, doing the different accents:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE

My first 7 mini podcasts in one full length episode. Idioms with ‘about’, politics, how to make a perfect cup of tea, a comedy song about badgers and some sentence stress and intonation practice.

You can find my Mini Podcast page on Audioboo by clicking here.

I am also on Facebook and Twitter.

There are 7 mini podcasts in this episode:

1. Introduction (losing my voice)
I talk about the new mini mobile podcasts and what to expect in the future.

2. Idioms with ‘about’
I teach you some common idioms and expressions using the word ‘about’

3. Government Cuts
At the moment in the UK the government is making large cuts to public spending. What will be the effect of those cuts on the funding of BBC Learning English? Are we going to lose BBC Learning English? This is an example of how we are living in an increasingly connected society where economic conditions in one country immediately effect people in other countries.

4. How to make the perfect cup of tea
I talk to my colleague Richard McNeff about making the perfect cup of tea. Listen closely for language for ‘how to describe a process’ – which is exactly the kind of thing you need to do in an IELTS writing exam.

5. Computer Games
Are games an art form like movies and television? What about the characters, the stories and the graphics?

6. New Guitar
I’ve got a new guitar and I’d like to play you a song. It’s a comedy song – remember that – it is supposed to be funny! So, look for the jokes in the lyrics of the song. The lyrics are printed below:

Bill Bailey – Hats Off To The Zebras (Tribute to Brian Adams)

The horse is a noble beast
From the mustangs of the west
To the stallions of the east
But the horse has a distant cousin
It lives I-do-not-know-where
But it’s message of racial harmony is one that we all can share

Hats off to the zebras
They are black and white
But they don’t fight
‘Cos they’re not very good at it

In a world of confusion
We all need a sign
If only we could live side by side
Like the stripes down a zebras spine

Hats of to the zebras, yeah

The humble badger
Takes a sip of morning dew
He’s totally colourblind
So he can’t judge you

But the badger is a dreamer
The badger has a plan
He knows that his destiny
Is to help his fellow man

Hats off to the badger
He is black and white
But he doesn’t fight
Except for mating rights and territory

Black man and a white man
Both they need to shave
United by the badger brush
He’s helping from beyond the grave

Hats off to the badger
What about the tapeer
Half zebra half pig
Imagine the stig-ma
But the tapeer stands proud
Hats off to the tapeer

Badgers and zebras
Skunks, oh yeah
Little ring-tailed leemurs
Living together in harmony

And if the killer whales can do it, why can’t we?
Tell me why can’t we?

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bill_bailey/#share

It’s a song about how we can use the examples of black and white animals to learn to live together in racial harmony.

For the the funniest lines are “because they’re not very good at it…” and “except for mating rights and territory”

7. Sentence Stress / Intonation / Get Candy!
In this one I demonstrate the importance of sentence stress and intonation in emphatic speech. Listen to the same text read twice. First time I read with flat intonation. It sounds dull and meaningless. Second time I add emphasis, stress and intonation – it sounds more passionate and meaningful.

Here’s the text below. You should practise listening to it, marking where I pause and emphasize. Then say the text and try to copy the way I do it. Listen to the previous podcast about halloween to head a real comedian reading the text.

So the first time you hear the concept of halloween, when you’re a kid. Do you remember the first time you even heard about it? It’s like, your brain can’t even… “what is this? who’s giving out candy? Someone’s giving out candy? who is giving out this candy? Everyone we know is just giving out candy?? I gotta be a part of this, take me with you, I want to do it, I’ll do anything that they want! I can wear that. I’ll wear anything I have to wear. I’ll do anything I have to do. I will get the candy from these fools, that are so stupidly giving it away!”

That’s it! Enjoy… and don’t forget to donate some money to help me do this!

TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE PLEASE CLICK HERE

Click Here to read Wikipedia’s information about Halloween (I used it as a source of information in this episode)

Click Here to read about Guy Fawkes Night on Wikipedia too.

Here is the transcript of Jerry Seinfeld’s stand up comedy bit about Halloween. Please buy a copy of “I’m Telling You For The Last Time” as it is a great comedy CD/DVD which everyone can enjoy. Click this link to see the Amazon page.

Transcript: Jerry Seinfeld “Halloween”

When you’re a kid you can eat amazing amounts of food. And that… just candy. That’s all I ate when I was a kid. The only thought I had growing up was “get candy”. That was the only thought in my brain for the 10 years of human life, just “get candy get candy get candy get candy”. Family, friends, school these were all obstacles in the way of getting more candy. That’s why you had to teach kids not to take candy from strangers if they’re playing in a playground. And they can barely understand it. “don’t… no candy from the, strangers, alright. candy, strangers, no candy? Alright, because otherwise I’m taking the candy anywhere I can get it.” They’re such candy moron idiot brains, just “this man has candy I’m going with him goodbye, I don’t care what happens to me, get candy get candy get candy”. “No don’t go they’ll torture you, they’ll kidnap you”, “it doesn’t matter, he has an O Henry I have to take that chance, get candy get candy get candy”.

So the first time you hear the concept of halloween, when you’re a kid. Do you remember the first time you even heard about it? It’s like, your brain can’t even… “what is this? who’s giving out candy? Someone’s giving out candy? who is giving out this candy? Everyone we know is just giving out candy?? I gotta be a part of this, take me with you, I want to do it, I’ll do anything that they want! I can wear that. I’ll wear anything I have to wear. I’ll do anything I have to do. I will get the candy from these fools, that are so stupidly giving it away!”

So the first couple of years I made my own costume, they, of course, sucked. Ghost, hobo, no good. So I’m begging the parents, “you’ve got to get me one of the ones from the store, the cardboard box, the cellophane top. So one year, third year, finally got it, Superman costume, not surprisingly. Mask included in the set! Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask, that was a quality item there wasn’t it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple that they put it in there with. Thinnest grey rubber in the world. You go to your first house, “Trick or SNAP – it broke, I don’t believe it. Wait up, I’ve got to fix it you guys! Come on! Wait up!”

That’s a kid thing, “wait up!”. Kids don’t want other kids to wait, they must wait ‘up’. “Wait up!”, because when you’re little life is ‘up’, you’re growing up, everything is ‘up’. Wait up, hold up, shut up! Mom, I’ll clean up! Let me stay up!

Parents of course are just the opposite. “Just calm down! Slow down! Come down here, sit down, put that down. You are grounded! Now keep it down in there.”

So I had my superman halloween costume, I was physically ready, I was mentally prepared, and I assumed when I put this costume on I would probably look exactly like the Superman I had come to know on television and in the movies. Now you remember these costumes, it’s not exactly the super fit that you are hoping for! You look more like you’re wearing superman’s pajamas, is what you look like. It’s all loose and flowing. Neck line kind of comes down to about there. You’ve got that flimsy little ribbon string holding it together in the back. Plus my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway. I don’t recall superman wearing a jacket!

So you’re going out there, you know, and the mask keeps breaking, so the rubber band keeps getting shorter, it gets tighter and tighter on your face, and you can’t even see, you’re trying to breathe through that, remember that little hole that gets all sweaty in there? And the mask starts slicing into your eyeballs, “I can’t see, I can’t breathe, but we’ve got to get the candy, let’s keep going!” About a half hour into it you take that mask off “Oh to hell with it!” BING BONG” “Yeah it’s me, give me the candy! I’m superman look at the pant legs, what the hell’s the difference?”

Remember those last few halloweens, getting a little too old for it. Just kind of going through the motions. BING BONG “come on lady let’s go, halloween, doorbells, candy, let’s pick up the pace.” You come to the door, they always ask you those same stupid questions, “What are you supposed to be?” “I’m supposed to be done by now, you want to move it along, we’re the three musketeers. I’ve got 18 houses on this block alone. You just hit the bag, we hit the road, that’s the routine, let’s just pick it up”. Sometimes they give you that white bag, twisted on the top, you know that’s going to be some crap candy. It’s got to have those official halloween markings on it. “Hey old lady, wait a second, what is this, the orange marshmallow shaped like a big peanut? Do me a favour, you keep that one. Yeah, we’ve got all the doorstops we need already thank you very much. We’re going for name candy only this year.”

And I think about how I used to eat when I was a kid, I remember halloween, I would get, you know I would have like a punch bowl, and I would fill it with candy. The top of it would be curved, that’s how much candy would… And I would consume the entire punch bowl that night! Next day? Feel fantastic.

That’s it!

What’s halloween like in your country? Do you have a traditional festival at this time of year? Leave your comments below.

TO LISTEN TO THE EPISODE, CLICK HERE

That’s the question in this interview. I wanted to know how much my brother James knows about the rules of grammar which learners of English study every day. The results are quite revealing.

At the end of the interview I explain the grammar rules which we discuss

Here is a transcript to the first part of this episode. It was sent to me by Bettina from France. Thanks again Bettina

Here are the lyrics to James’ rap at the beginning of the episode!
It’s Luke’s English Podcast
We’re sitting in his flat
We’re discussing English
and shit like that
We’re getting educated
because that’s the way we do
so listen up close
because his name is Luke

Here’s the first part of the transcript. The beginning of this transcript was sent in by Bettina from France. Thanks again Bettina

You’re listening to Luke’s English Podcast. For more information visit teacherluke.podomatic.com

Uh… say what
Uh… what what what what

It’s Luke’s English Podcast
We’re sitting in his flat
We’re discussing English
and shit like that
We’re getting educated
because that’s the way we do
So listen up close
because his name is Luke

Yeah, we’re learning English
Luke’s English Podcast
Learning some English
Luke’s English podcast
with Luke’s English podcast, yeah

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and especially you Ladies,
you’re in safe hands, it’s Luke’s English podcast.

This week Luke takes a long slow lingering linguistic look at the English language.
So lay back, run yourself a deep bath and relax to the smoothing sounds of Luke’s English podcast.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Luke’s English podcast. In this episode I talk to my brother James, err, about grammar. We have a little grammar discussion in which I ask James to try and answer some questions about English grammar. Now the idea of this episode is that I wanted to show people who are learning English, what most normal English native speakers really know about grammar.

Now my brother is a fairly ordinary Londoner. Um, he works as a graphic designer . Um, he is very good. He did the logo for my podcast, the Luke’s English Podcast logo. He designed that, so he is very good. He went to University, and so he is a normal educated professional Londoner. Umm, but as a native speaker, I wanted to ask him some questions about grammar because often learners of English are really surprised that native speakers don’t really know anything about the rules of grammar even though they speak the language perfectly. So here’s the conversation. I’ll explain some things at the end.

Erm, right, okay, so I’m with my brother Jim, and erm… would you say that you’re, like, an average man on the street?
James: Yeah
Luke: You are. Are you on a street now?
James: Erm, I’m very near one. I’m not on a street, no. But I quite often am on the street.
Luke: Okay, so you’re, sort of, typical person
James: I’m the average person, in the world
Luke: You are the most average person in the world
James: Yeah
Luke: Is that what your girlfriend says? …he hey… That’s just a joke. Wasn’t very funny. Umm, anyway, so my brother is basically, sort of, the average man on the street. Umm, right, so, how much, kind of, English grammar did you study at school?
James: Don’t really remember to be honest.
Luke: Don’t remember, okay.
James: Probably… a fair amount but I’d say more of it was just picked up in speech than learned, err, in a classroom
Luke: Ok, so you just, you didn’t really study any grammar. We don’t really study grammar at school.
James: Well, we did, but, yeah I’m sure we studied it. I remember that stuff happening. I just don’t know if I was paying any attention
Luke: Ok, so if I asked you for example, what’s the difference between a noun and adjective and a verb? Can you tell me?
James: An adjective is …erm…
Luke: Yeah, an adjective
James: An adjective is a doing word
Luke: A doing word. For example?
James: For example, erm, err, to run.
Luke: To run. So, you’re saying ‘to run’ is an adjective. Ok, I’ll come back to that.
James: Can we delete this?
Luke: No no! This is brilliant! No this is perfect because, the fact is that students don’t know that most English people don’t know…
James: Yeah, but I’m more stupid than most people
Luke: No you’re not more stupid than most people.
James: Most people know this
Luke: No, most people don’t know this. A lot of people don’t know this. I didn’t know this until I started learning to become a teacher.
James: No, an adjective would be, erm, ‘flying’
Luke: No, that’s not… well, ‘flying’ could be an adjective, but, that’s actually…
James: Fat
Luke: Fat is an adjective, yes.
James: Right, yeah
Luke: So, it’s a describing word. Right, what about a noun?
James: A noun is a… a descriptive word like ‘a plant’
Luke: Right, so it’s like the name of a thing, like ‘a plant’, okay. What’s a verb?
James: To run, to fly
Luke: To run, to fly, okay. That’s a doing word.
James: To drive
Luke: To drive. Okay, what’s, err, what’s an adverb?
James: Describing the person, a ‘driver’
Luke: No, that’s a noun.
James: Dunno (don’t know)
Luke: An adverb describes a verb, so ‘he drives well’, so ‘well’ is an adjective [adverb].
James: right
Luke: Err,
James: Oh, it’s all coming back to me now.
Luke: But the fact is that most
James: Thing is though I think I speak quite well
Luke: Yeah, well of course you do
James: I generally make myself understood, I just may not know the exact correct definition of everything.
Luke: That’s the thing for native speakers of English. It’s like “well I don’t need to know the rules, because obviously I know that, basically …
James: I’m confident enough that I know the language well enough to speak it well, and to make myself understood and to be clear
Luke: I think that’s…
James: and I speak, I think I speak quite well but I just don’t know the exact definitions of all the words
Luke: Okay, well that’s exactly what English native speakers. That’s their whole attitude, and that’s totally fine, because the fact is they know how to speak English of course, because they were born in an English speaking environment
James: You’d definitely notice if someone got it wrong though
Luke: Yeah, but if you got it wrong, you notice, that’s right, but you just instinctively know what’s right and what’s wrong
James: but it feels like it’s instinctive but I’m sure it was learned
Luke: No, it is instinctive because we don’t learn
James: No, but it’s picked up isn’t it, through practice
Luke: Yeah, it’s picked up through experience of just speaking and, for example, your parents correcting you and things like that. But learners of English have got to learn all these rules, and it’s like, it’s the language of the English language for them, because in order to take apart the language, they use all this other… all these other terms and I often think when I’m teaching that my students know English grammar, like, ten times better than how most native English speakers do, right?
James: yeah
Luke: So, I’ve got here a book, which is called English Grammar In Use by Raymond Murphy and it’s the most popular grammar book for learners of English. It’s sold millions of copies all around the world, it’s a famous book, it’s known as ‘the blue book’, ‘the blue grammar book’
James: and you’re saying it’s basically useless
Luke: No, I’m not saying it’s useless! I’m just saying it’s interesting that most native speakers have got no idea what any of this stuff means. You talk about present continuous tense and third conditionals and things like that
James: Wouldn’t have a clue
Luke: You’ve got no idea, right. What I’m quite curious to do is, another thing is, that in English language classes teachers are always asking students to explain what things mean, right, so they always say things like “what is present perfect and how do we use it?” or “what’s the difference between these two sentences?”, right, and it’s interesting to see what a native speaker, someone who’s already able to speak English perfectly and functionally would answer those questions, because sometimes
James: You’re probably going to get them wrong
Luke: Well, you, it’s, the point is that, a lot of the exercises you do in class are, kind of, unrealistic, and unnatural so even if you were a native speaker you wouldn’t be able to do it, you know?
James: Yeah
Luke: So, like, if I said to you what’s the difference between, ‘I painted the house’ and ‘I have painted the house’? What’s the difference in meaning?
James: ‘I painted the house’ implies that you’ve just done it
Luke: You’ve just done it
James: and ‘I have painted the house’ could be any time
Luke: Ok. Couldn’t you say ‘I painted the house last year’?
James: Yeah, you could say that
Luke: Right, so ‘I painted the house’ could be any time
James: But you couldn’t say ‘I have painted the house last year’
Luke: Ah, right. Why not?
James: Because it’s too… it’s, it’s… I don’t know. There’s two levels to it. Once you say ‘I have painted the house’, you’ve already established the fact that you’ve painted it.
Luke: Right
James: Err, I don’t know! It just sounds wrong!
Luke: It just sounds wrong, yeah, that’s exactly it. The fact is, ‘I have painted the house’ means, you were right originally, you don’t know when it happened, it’s just that it happened in the past some time, and it’s connected to now, because you’re relating it to your whole experience of your life up to now, so there’s a connection to now, ‘I have done it’, like, I’ve got that experience. ‘I have painted the house’. You can’t say ‘I have painted the house yesterday’, because we just don’t use that tense
James: But you’ve already said, ‘I have painted the house’
Luke: Which implies that there’s no time, or that it’s an unfinished period of time.
James: Or just… it just doesn’t work, I don’t know why
Luke: But you can say, “I have painted the house today”, but you can’t say “I have painted the house yesterday”
James: ‘I have painted the house today’, would you say that?
Luke: At the end of the day, ‘so what have you done today?’, oh well…
James: You’d say ‘I painted the house’
Luke: Ok at the end of the day
James: Or ‘I’ve been painting the house’
Luke: But at lunchtime, “what have you done?”
James: Oh, I’ve painted the house
Luke: yeah, exactly
James: What have you been doing this morning? – I painted the house. I don’t know if you’d say ‘I’ve’
Luke: Well if it was finished you would
James: “well, I’ve come in, I’ve picked up the paint brush”
Luke: NO, that’s, that’s
James: I’ve run in, I’ve grabbed the ladder, I’ve put it up against the wall and I’ve painted the house.
Luke: That’s what native speakers say as an error. That’s what footballers do. They say things like, “Well, yeah, I’ve got the ball”… what they should say is “I got the ball outside the penalty box, right, I passed it to Wayne Rooney, he passed it back to me, I beat the defender and I shot and I scored. But what they’d say is “Well, I’ve got the ball outside the penalty box, and I’ve passed it to Wayne Rooney and he’s passed it back to me, and I’ve looked up, and I’ve seen the open goal, and I’ve shot and I’ve scored”, so all this weird present perfect, but it’s kind of wrong isn’t it.
James: Yeah
Luke: They’re actually speaking completely incorrectly
James: Because he’s kind of talking about the present and the past at the same time. “I’ve picked up the ball, passed it to Rooney. You know, I’ve collected the ball and passed it to Rooney”
Luke: So he’s talking about, it’s like, it happened just now, it’s like, in the moment
James: But he’s using “I’ve”
Luke: “I’ve” to, sort of, create that link to ‘now’ somehow
James: It’s like he’s running through it in his head.
Luke: It’s kind of like…
James: This isn’t going to be any use to anyone
Luke: It is. No, it is it is, it’s exactly
James: No-one’s going to listen to this
Luke: No, it’s not true, it’s not true. People will be interested to hear this
James: If you’re listening to this, I’m very sorry
Luke: No, people will be interested to hear about how a native speaker understands,
James: or doesn’t
Luke: or doesn’t understand grammar. Just let me ask you two more things and then we’ll call it a day. Right, er, another one is, what’s the difference between ‘for’ and ‘since’. That’s a question that students ask all the time. What’s the difference between ‘for’ and ‘since’?
James: In what context?
Luke: So, ‘I have done something for…’ and ‘I have done something since…’
James: for?
Luke: For, yeah, f-o-r. “i’ve been doing something for…”
James: 10 years
Luke: Yeah, I’ve been doing something for 10 years. I’ve been doing something since…
James: 1990… 2000
Luke: Yeah, since 2000, so what’s the difference between ‘for’ and ‘since’?
James: …erm… well you say ‘for’ when you’re about to describe the length of time that you have spent doing something. ‘Since’ sets the date that you started.
Luke: Yeah, exactly, yeah. Perfect. Yeah, you’re quite good.
James: That blew your theory out of the water
Luke: No no, it’s just interesting. I don’t have a theory. Right, here’s another one, ok. This is a classic one. What’s the difference between saying, okay this is conditionals. What’s the difference between saying “If I…” now you’ll get this because this is easy… “If I had bought a lottery ticket, I would have won the lottery” and “If I bought a lottery ticket, I would win the lottery” What’s the difference.
James: One’s talking about the past and one’s talking about the future.
Luke: Right, okay, yes, spot on. Nailed it. Yeah. Okay, I need to give you a really difficult one. Erm, hmm, I’ll go to the back of the book. Ok, prepositions, right? Let’s go for, what do you want? Let’s have adjective + preposition, which is, prepositions are the thing that learners have the most difficulty with, and they’re little words like ‘of’ ‘to’ ‘at’ ‘in’, stuff like that
James: Ok, go on, first question
Luke: So, you’ve just got to complete the sentence, erm, hmm,

LUKE: Erm, hmm, wait a minute. Right, wait a second

JAMES: I think you should edit this down.

LUKE: Yeah, okay, right, here we go. I’ll give you a sentence. You’ve got to put the prepositions in the right place, in the gap, okay?
I was delighted ….. the present you gave me. I was delighted … the present you gave me.

JAMES: ‘ with ‘

LUKE: Yes, well done. Brilliant.

JAMES: I don’t know why ? But…

LUKE: I’ve just had an idea whenever you get anything right, I’m gonna do this (ping!), okay? Right, so here’s the next one.

JAMES: This is bad.

LUKE: It was very nice … you, to do my shopping for me. Thank you very much.

JAMES: ‘ of ‘ but I don’t know why it’s ‘ of ‘. I couldn’t tell you the rules behind that. I just know that’s what it is.

LUKE: Why are you always so rude … your parents? Can’t you be nice … them.

JAMES: ‘ to ‘

LUKE: ‘ to ‘ yes, well done !

JAMES: Can you not do that? (referring to the BING)

LUKE: Okay, hmm, but why is it nice to, be nice to the parents?

JAMES: Well, because they brought you up and I dunno, bought you stuff at christmas

LUKE: No, I’m meaning, why do you use the word ‘to’? Nice, be nice to your parents.

JAMES: Because, you’re sort of, I don’t know.

LUKE: Yeah

JAMES: You’re giving some kind to them. You’re kind of, just doing something for their benefit, I suppose or something towards them. Something towards them. A big nice towards them. Now, it’s that
your parents, I couldn’t tell you.

LUKE: You’ve to look up, to look toward them.

JAMES: I couldn’t tell you.

LUKE: The fact is, it’s just impossible to create a rule about it. In fact, you’ve just got to learn that some words go with other words. Just got know it’s ‘ be nice to someone ‘ . You’ve just to learn ‘nice to’. So,
you have to see words existing together in little partnerships.

JAMES: Well, learn how they work together.

LUKE: Yeah, that’s it. It’s just learning two words together. Not just one on its own. So, that’s it. That’s the end of the experiment. Have you learnt anything from this, from this experience?

JAMES: No, no.

LUKE: No?

JAMES: Hm, I just hope that you get something out of this. You know making me look stupid basically.

LUKE: No, I think you got quite a few questions right. Didn’t you?

JAMES: Hhhh yeah,

LUKE: Okay, well, congratulations anyway. I’m gonna give you a certificate now which just shows that you’ve, two certificates, want to show that you completed the course.

JAMES: So, I’ll keep the certificate. Can I have this bit of chewing gum?

LUKE: Yeah, you can have the chewing gum.

JAMES: Sorry, thanks.

LUKE: Hmm, and the second certificate is just something I like to give to all the guests that I have on a program. It’s a little certificate just proving that you’d appeared on, on an episode of Luke’s English
Podcast. So thanks very much for coming and I hope to see you soon.

JAMES: Thanks very much. Luke’s English Podcast is brought to you by Wrigley chewing gum and Castllero del Diablo wine.

Okay folks, what I would now like to do is just explain some of the grammar points that I spoke to my brother about during that conversation. I asked him some questions about a few areas of grammar to see if he could answer them and I think you can see there that the point is, I guess, that native speakers surprisingly don’t understand or don’t really know the rules of grammar. They don’t know terms like ‘present perfect’ or even words like ‘adjectives’ or ‘nouns’. They don’t really know what those terms mean. So when you’re studying all that stuff at school, you’re in a way more articulate than they are, because you know how to describe the language and native speakers don’t know how to do that. That’s quite interesting but native speakers know, umm, what’s right and what’s wrong by instinct. They just sort of, they learn it as children without thinking about it and then when they get older they know that something is wrong but they don’t know why it’s wrong, they just know it’s wrong. It’s the same for you when you’re learning your language as a child.

Umm, what does that tell us about learning English? Well you could say, that it, some people might say it means that learners of English shouldn’t worry about learning the rules of grammar. That instead they should just try to listen to a lot of English, to read a lot of English and by doing that ,erm, see and hear the language so much that they just learn what’s right and wrong, just by frequency. So they know for example that people will say things, just because they have heard it said so many times before and they know what’s right and wrong just because they have heard and read the language a lot and they’ve started to learn, started to get a sense of all the patterns that you find in English.
Maybe that’s true, maybe that’s a good way to learn or maybe learners of English should study the rules or at least study the patterns and do practice exercises in order to understand what’s right and what’s wrong. I think it’s a combination of both. That you need to study the language , you need to test yourself with it , you need to do exercises but also you need to combine that with high exposure to lots of listening and lots of reading and so the more you see of the language , the more you start to develop a feel for it. Hum, that’s my opinion, um, but nevertheless, um, some of the things that I discussed with my brother there, I think I should just clarify for you, anyway.
Um, so the first thing I asked him was, what’s the difference between a noun, an adjective and a verb and he couldn’t really answer the question, but as you may know, a noun is a word which is used to give something a name. We use things like, you know, a table, a chair, a cat, those are all nouns. They can be plural or singular. Three cats for example.
They can be countable or uncountable. If they’re countable you can, you can count them. For example three, you know, tables. A table is a countable noun because you can say one, two or three tables but a word like sugar isn’t countable, instead we just say some sugar. So it’s like a mass of tiny little granules of sugar that together makes something uncountable. They can also be abstract, for example the names of things you can’t actually touch or feel. Umm, so concepts like ‘love’ is a noun. Umm, it’s also a verb but you could say ‘all you need is love’ and in that sentence it’s a noun. It’s an abstract one there and it’s uncountable. That’s nouns. Obviously there’re, nouns can be very complex, they can be larger, kind of phrases you could say like a noun phrase like for example, hum, let’s see, umm, like mobile phone technology is a kind of noun phrase and you can use that as the start of a sentence. Mobile phone technology is developing very quickly, right? So nouns can also be sometimes a number of words together.

Umm, right, the next one is a adjective. Well, an adjective is a word we use to describe a noun. Umm, it’s used to describe a noun, so we would say for example, the food was delicious, right? So delicious describes the food. How was the food ? It was delicious. You could also say delicious food. Like that, of course. Umm, so that’s an adjective.

Umm, and then the next one was a verb and the verb is the doing word. These are words we use to express sort of actions, um, so like play, eat, go, for example. Those are verbs, um, and we also have little verb phrases, which are things like phrasal verbs and that’s a verb in combination with other words and phrasal verbs are difficult because, well, somme of them are easy and some of them are difficult . The easy ones are easy to understand because the meaning is very similar to the original verb. So, if you’re talking about, um, oh, let’s see, hmm, ‘ go on’ , like ‘ go on’, meaning continue. I’s fairly clear what that means because go, we know what ‘ go’ means. ‘ Go on ‘ just means go and don’t stop going, continue. That’s fairly easy but some of them are difficult like if you take the expression ‘give up’. ‘ Give up ‘ umm, meaning to quit. Hum, that’s not quite so easy because the verb ‘ give’ you know, we think, well, ‘ give’ . Give someone a birthday present but in this sentence ‘give up’ has a completely different meaning to give which makes it very difficult and the fact is as learners of English you just have to learn phrasal verbs. You just have to try and learn them because they are all unique words with their own meanings, just a combination of a few words. So that’s, umm, that was the first thing I asked my brother. The next thing was about ‘present perfect’ and ‘past simple’.

So we know the ‘present perfect’. One of the, actually this is one of the most common bits of grammar that you study when you’re learning English. Present perfect of course is like ‘ have’ plus a past participle or ‘ has’ plus a past participle, like I have lived in Japan for example. Umm, she has eaten a pizza, right? And ‘past simple’ obviously everyone knows. I lived in Japan, she ate a pizza, for example. Umm, so the difference, well that’s quite a big one and it’s something that everyone is studying. So the difference between ‘past simple’ and ‘present perfect’ basically we use, we use ‘past simple’ to talk about a finished action in the past but the time period is important and we tend to, with ‘past simple’ express a kind of distance from the act. So there is a distance in time basically, which means that the action
happened in a finished time period. I lived, erm, well let’s say, umm, I ate, no, I drank a coffee. It’s pretty, probably suggests that you that you drank a coffee yesterday or you drank a coffee last week or you drank a coffee, umm, during breakfast, right? So it’s like in a finished time. ‘Present perfect’ is used to describe finished actions which happened in an unfinished time. So there’s a connection to now. That’s the most important thing. So, basically you might say for example, I have drunk three cups of coffee today. Umm, today is not finished, so you can say, I have drunk three cups of coffee today. Hum, so the time period is always connected to now. It’s a bit more complicated than that but that’s is all basic difference.
Hum, to be honest, if I was to explain ‘present perfect’ and ‘past simple’, I’d need to record a completely new podcast and I could do that. So, I might, I might do that.. ‘Past simple’ and ‘present perfect’.

The next one was about 2nd and 3rd conditionals. So we know the 2nd conditional would be for example, umm, let’s see. Err, if I bought a lottery ticket, I would win the lottery. Not a very good example because, it’s not definite that you’d win, so, if I?
Okay, let’s say, if I, if I went outside, I, no, no, no … Okay, if I studied hard, I would pass the exam. So, you’re talking about the future but you use past tense like studied, if I studied, now, we’re not talking about the past , we’re talking about the future. And we know, it’s the future because we’ve said’ if’ . So ‘ if ‘ plus a ‘past tense’ is actually used to describe a kind of unreal future. So you use the past tense not to create distance in time but to create distance in reality. In this sense it’s an unreal or high (perceptible) future because you don’t think it’s realistic. So, if I studied hard, I would pass the exam but I’m not going to study hard because I don’t want to, right? So compare that with the 1st conditional. If I study hard, I will pass the exam. Umm, ‘present tense’ after ‘ if ‘ , still talking about the future but here we think it’s a realistic future. So, there’s no distance from reality. We think it’s real and it’s followed by ‘ will ‘. Umm, if I study hard, I will pass the exam. So, that’s it, it’s like a definite future with its definite future consequence!

The 3rd conditional talks about the past and there we use ‘had’ plus a ‘past participle’ in the ‘if clause’, in the second clause we have ‘would have’ and a ‘past participle’. So, let’s say, the exam was last week and I failed, you could say, ‘ If I had studied for the exam, I would have passed, right? The fact is, I didn’t study and I didn’t pass but if I had studied, now here we’re using ‘ had studied’ and that’s like, it looks like past perfect, but it’s not actually past perfect, it just looks like it, but it’s used to create distance from reality in this sense, in the past. Umm, so we go from ‘past simple’ I didn’t study, we go one tense back to what looks like ‘past perfect ‘. ‘If I had studied’ and then in the second part ‘I would have passed ‘. Again to refer to a past consequence.

It’s all very complicated and to be honest rather boring but you kind of have to learn it. Again, I could do a completely separate podcast all about conditionals because it’s such a big topic.

The last thing I talked about with my brother was ‘prepositions’ and if you’re learning English you’ll know about prepositions. They’re very, very difficult. They are the little words that we use to connect nouns and verbs and adjectives together and you find the prepositions are linked to other words and there isn’t really a decent set of rules to explain these links. The fact is, you just have to learn them. You just have to learn that we say ‘to be nice to someone’ right? ‘Nice to’ those words go together. You’ve just to learn that you have to remember it and there’re lots of combinations of verbs and prepositions, nouns and propositions and adjectives and prepositions and there are so many lists, really that, it’s just a case of noticing them and then try to remember them. Umm, what you should do, is realize that prepositions are linked to other words and then see these word combinations as separate units of meaning that you should learn. So, you don’t just learn the word for example ‘consist’ but you learn the expression ‘consist of’ right? Okay, so a hamburger , a Big Mac consists of bread, salad, beef and cheese for example. Umm, so, ‘consists of’. Those words always go together.

Umm, so that’s basically it. Those are the things I’d discussed with my brother. I expect, if you’re a learner of English, you understood the rules of grammar a little bit better than my brother did. Umm, in which case you should feel quite good about yourself. Um, remember you’re, you’re learning the grammar of the English language and you’re learning the grammar actually better than most native speakers. So, well done you.
Umm that’s the end of this podcast, I hope you found it interesting. That’s all for me . Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye…

Enjoy.

More conversations with native English speakers in the centre of London. Tapescript available below. Enjoy!

Luke’s English Podcast is a free service, but PLEASE DONATE SOME MONEY to help me pay for this website. Only donate a few dollars/euros/pounds if you listen. Your donations make this podcast possible. No donations = no more podcasts.

Video Tapescript:

Luke: So what’s the best thing about being in London for you?
Man with red tie: The food
Luke: Really? That’s interesting. A lot of people who aren’t from England, foreigners, think that the food’s awful. What kind of food?
Man: Indian. Italian. Good food.
Luke: Right, okay, what’s the worst thing about London?
Man: Feeling unclean when you get home. The grime.
Luke: The, sort of, grime, the pollution and stuff. Okay, thank you very much.
Man: You’re welcome.

Girls: Hi
Luke: Hi, where are you both from?
English girl: Nottingham
Luke: Okay
Canadian girl: And I’m from Canada
Luke: Okay, right, but you’ve both lived in London before, right?
Girls: Yep
Luke: I’m just asking people what the best and worst things about London are…
Nottingham: The amount of things to do… the best thing
Luke: Yep
Canada: Free museums and galleries, those are really good things.
Luke: Okay, right, what about the worst things?
Canada: The tube
Luke: What about the tube?
Canada: Too crowded, too hot, doesn’t work very well.
Luke: Right. What do you think?
Nottingham: That’s about it actually, yeah. Travel, yeah, travelling.
Luke: Alright, thank you very much.
Canada: You’re welcome
Luke: Cheers
Canada: Good luck with that
Luke: Thanks very much, cheers.

White t-shirt man: Hello
Luke: You’re from London as well are you?
Man: I am from London yeah. Do you want me to talk to you or to the lens?
Luke: Umm, both, whatever.
Man: Okay, yeah
Luke: Whatever’s more comfortable.
Man: Alright
Luke: So, what’s the best thing about London?
Man: Umm. I would say, the diversity, the culture diversity, the galleries, the fact that you can walk around the city and there’s so many different types of… walks of life you know, culturally and also it’s constantly changing and reinventing itself. It’s got lots of different opportunities creatively. I think that’s what, really, what makes London thrive really.
Luke: Right, it’s the place where you can, kind of, go with a creative idea and make it work
Man: Yeah, it’s a very dynamic city, culturally dynamic, which is what makes it great
Luke: Okay. What about the worst things?
Man: Err, overcrowding, the tube, erm… stress levels, pressure, people not looking you in the eye when they [are] going through their day to day [life]. That’s probably the worst thing about London.
Luke: So there’s a sort of impersonal thing as well
Man: It can be, yeah
Luke: Okay
Man: Alright?
Luke: Great, thanks very much, bye.

It’s back! The return of Luke’s English Podcast. Responses to the comments and questions I have received over the last few months. I haven’t done a podcast for quite a long time, so here it is!

Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for people learning English as a second language. Use this podcast to develop your listening skills, your awareness of pronunciation patterns, your knowledge of vocabulary and grammar and your cultural understanding too. Each podcast is fairly long, usually more than 30 minutes. There is a lot of content in this podcast. You can use it to develop your English by doing ‘long term listening’ which means you listen for something for a longer period (not just the 5 minutes of listening you do in class), and you listen to it regularly and sometimes more than once. This allows you to ‘get to know’ the podcast, the sound of my voice and the way I teach. You can listen to it anywhere. After a while you will start to pick up lots of things I say, and possibly start speaking like me.

In this podcast I just respond to messages I have been sent recently. If you have sent me a message I might reply to it personally on this podcast episode. I answer some questions too, so it is a good chance to understand some tricky things in English and get some advice.

Cheers.

Luke

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Useful and natural vocabulary and expressions on the subject of Waiting and Being Patient.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Welcome back to Luke’s English Podcast. This is Luke, and this is the long awaited next episode! I expect some of you have been waiting for the next episode to be uploaded. Well, here it is! Proof, surely, that good things come to those who wait.

In fact, that is what this episode is about; waiting and being patient. I’m going to teach you some useful words and expressions on the subject of waiting.

Here are the expressions I will be teaching you. First I will list them, then I will talk and use them in context. You will have to listen to the podcast to hear me give definitions and explanations.

Vocabulary and expressions: Waiting and being patient (23 items of vocabulary)

Good things come to those who wait
Persevere
Stick at it
Don’t give up
Keep going
It’s worth it in the end
Hold on
Hang on
Hang in there
Hold tight
Hold your horses
See how things go
Wait and see
Bear with me
All in good time!
Don’t be impatient
I’m looking forward to it/doing it
I can’t wait for it
I can’t wait to do it
Don’t hold your breath
An anticlimax
To que up for something
To hold out for something

Here are the expressions in context. Listen and notice the expressions. You can read and find them here too:

They say that Good things come to those who wait, and I’m sure it’s true. If you have the patience to wait for a long time, eventually something good will come to you. For example, if you’re looking for Mr Right or Mrs Right – if you want to get married, it’s no good if you just marry the first person you meet. You need to be patient until you find the right person for you. If you’re starting a business, you might need to persevere before you get success. Success might not come immediately – if you think you have a good business idea, just stick at it and eventually success will come along. Good things come to those who wait – patience is a virtue! So, if you’re waiting for something, don’t give up – keep going! This is true for learning English – it is a long term thing. You can’t get big success in a short time, you have to stick at it. Keep listening a lot, keep studying, keep taking risks with English. It is worth it in the end. You’ll improve in the long run. There’s no short, quick solution to learning English unfortunately. So, if you’re impatient to become a fluent speaker, keep practising and hang in there. Hold on, hang on and hold tight – you’ll get there in the end if you keep trying. Sometimes students ask me what their English will be like in 3 months time, or 6 months time. I usually say – if you work hard and have the right attitude, you could make a lot of progress, but I can’t really predict the future – you’ll have to just wait and see. Sometimes my students are so keen to improve that they ask me to give them extra work to do after school (don’t worry – I have plenty of students who are happy to do nothing after school!) and usually I have to say “OK, I’ll have to go into the teachers’ room to photocopy something for you. Just bear with me, I’ll be back in a few minutes”.
Sometimes if my students do a test in class, they want to know their results immediately, but they have to wait until I’ve checked their answers. “Can I see my score please Luke?” They say. “All in good time! I haven’t checked your tests yet! Don’t be impatient!” I might say.
Often at school, the students work pretty hard and they just want the weekend to come so they can go out and enjoy themselves. They might say “I can’t wait for the weekend!”. Some students get tired of living in London because they’re homesick, and it’s cold here and the food isn’t very good. They might say something like, “I’m really looking forward to going back to my country”.
Sometimes, teachers at my school organize trips out of class (e.g. to interesting places in London). The students often look forward to these and say things like “I can’t wait for the trip into London”, but I might say “Don’t hold your breath! – it might not be that good. It might rain or something, and that would spoil the trip, wouldn’t it?” There’s nothing worse than building something up, expecting it to be great, and then it being an anticlimax in the end.
Some students think that the British are naturally patient people because we seem to enjoy queueing up for things. They always see people standing in lines at ATM machines or outside theatres. Perhaps it’s true – maybe we are quite patient. I think we like to queue up because it makes life easier. Who wants to live in a place where people push and shove and don’t respect each other?
So, are you finding this episode useful? I know some of you have been holding out for this one for a while. I hope it is what you expected, and not too much of an anticlimax.

That’s it. You’ll have to listen to the podcast in order to hear my explanations and examples of the 23 items of vocabulary listed above.

You can also hear me chat with English Robot 3000.

If you listen to this podcast, please donate just 1 dollar to me via PayPal. You can do that by clicking the ‘Donate Via PayPal’ button in the top right of the webpage.

Hang in there!

Guest presenter Claudia Edwards interviews Luke about Stand Up Comedy. Vocabulary notes are included below.

Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for learners of English. In a recent made up survey, a group of over 1000 international students were asked what was the best way to learn English. 99% of the students said that Luke’s English Podcast was the best way to learn English. 1% of the students did not understand the question.

London is the comedy capital of the world (2009 Logan Murray). There are more comedians here than in any other city. Comedy is a BIG part of our culture here. Going to a stand up comedy show is a very normal way to spend an evening. There are many famous and successful stand up comedians in the UK as well as the USA. But what is stand up?

I’ve recently started doing stand up comedy myself, so in this podcast I was interviewed by my friend & colleague Claudia Edwards. I’m sure you’ll agree, it is very nice to listen to a female voice presenting the podcast for a change. Enjoy!

Here are the questions asked by Claudia, and some of the vocabulary I used in my answers:

Can you tell me what exactly is stand up?

stand up comedy = a kind of comedy performance which involves a comedian standing up in front of an audience with a microphone, in order to make people laugh
sit coms = situation comedies – these are TV shows which usually feature a few characters in a familiar situation. The events and the conversation are funny. E.g. Friends

What makes it unique as a kind of performance?
a script = all the words for a play, or a movie which the actors have to learn
dying on stage = being unsuccessful on stage – doing your performance, but failing because nobody is laughing

What are the good things and the bad things about it?
you can’t blame anyone else
to blame someone = to say that someone was responsible for something bad. e.g. “it’s the director’s fault”
time consuming = it takes up (uses) a lot of time
you’re putting yourself on the line
to put yourself on the line = to put yourself in a position in which you might fail

What’s it like? How do you feel?
the palm of your hand = the middle part of your hand (with the lines on it)
you’ve got the audience in the palm of your hand = the audience are completely under your control
it’s paid off = the work you have done is resulting in success
beforehand = before

Have you ever had a mind blank?
a mind blank = when your mind goes blank, and you can’t think of anything

How long have you been doing it?

What exactly do you do, just tell jokes?
the navigational systems of the plane = the computer which helps the plane to go in the correct direction
you wouldn’t be able to take them on as hand luggage

What do you think makes a stand up comic good?

Do any other countries do stand up, or is it just the UK?
they will often pick on the audience
to pick on someone = to make fun of / tease someone (sometimes in a nasty way – like a bully at school)
alternative comedy = subversive, critical comedy
subversive = critical, radical, revolutionary, against the government or the ‘way things are now’

How long have people been doing stand up in the UK, do you know?

If people listening want to see some stand up, what should they do?

Some vocabulary from Luke’s stand up set:
bollocks = a rude British English swear word which is like the American word ‘bullshit’. It actually means ‘testicles’.
shuffle all songs = a function on the ipod which plays all your songs in random order

Some of my favourite comedy clips:

Richard Pryor – When kids lie
Richard Pryor is definitely one of the best stand up comedians ever. Unfortunately he is dead now, but his comedy is still with us. He was one of the people who invented the kind of stand up comedy which everybody does now. In this clip Pryor talks about how children behave when they lie about breaking something.

Steve Martin on The Midnight Special
I absolutely love Steve Martin, but a lot of people don’t ‘get’ it (they don’t understand why he’s funny). Unfortunately there aren’t many good clips of him doing stand up on YouTube, but this one is quite good. Steve’s comedy is not obvious. It’s subtle. He used his voice and his body a lot, and just little physical movements or changes in the way he spoke were hilarious. In this clip he talks about how cars seem to have a function that ‘buzzes’ when you do something wrong. He thinks the next thing is for cars to actually shout “Hey! What about your keys your moron!” or for other things to buzz when you do something wrong (e.g. your girlfriend during sex because you haven’t done enough foreplay). This clip is a bit old fashioned, but I believe Steve Martin is still one of the best stand up comedians we’ve had.

Michael McIntyre – Live at The Apollo
McIntyre is probably the biggest stand up comedian in the UK at the moment. He is extremely popular. His comedy is accessible (he talks about things which everybody can relate to), he uses a lot of physical humour and different voices, and he is very energetic on stage.
In this clip, he talks about how English people always want to know exactly where you live when you introduce yourself. “Hi, I’m from London” – “Whereabouts whereabouts!”
He speaks very quickly.

Eddie Izzard – Machines That Lie
He’s also one of the UK’s top comedians and is now a Hollywood actor. Eddie is also a transvestite – he likes to dress in women’s clothes, but he isn’t gay. This is nothing to do with his comedy.
In this clip he talks about machines which we have in our homes, and how they lie to us.

Flight of the Conchords – Business Time
These guys are a musical comedy duo from New Zealand. They sing comedy songs. This one is about ‘making love’! Oh yeah, it’s business time! In the song, Jemane sings to his girlfriend about making love on a Wednesday evening. Listen carefully to the lyrics and you’ll see that Jemane is not a very good lover!

Here’s a clip of some Japanese comedy. It comes from a BBC TV show called “Adam and Joe Go Tokyo” in which British comedians Adam and Joe go to Tokyo to learn about Japanese culture. It was broadcast about 6 years ago.

There are many many more comedians and videos that I love, but I can’t recommend them all. To be honest, I think that it is very difficult to understand the humour if you don’t understand the English perfectly. This is why I think comedy is one of the best ways of improving your English. Think of it like this:
1. Watch some comedy that you don’t understand
2. Realise that other people are laughing, so it must be funny
3. Think: What am I missing?
4. Watch again and try really hard to understand what is so funny about it. Is it the specific words? Is it the subject? Is it something specific to the culture that you don’t understand?
5. If you can understand comedy in English – you are making a lot of progress!!

I totally believe in comedy as one of the best things in life – and of course I think comedy in English is wonderful, and there is SO MUCH of it. Don’t miss out on English language comedy. GET INTO IT TODAY!

Really useful vocabulary and pronunciation practise for you. Learn and use natural expressions for making conversations when travelling or on holiday.

Luke’s English Podcast was recently nominated in the completely made up Internet Academy Awards. The nominations are in these categories:
Best Original Website
Best Adapted Video on YouTube
Best Podcast with the words “Luke’s English Podcast” in the Title
Best recorded voice online
Most Informative Educational Video (Notting Hill)
Outstanding Contribution To The English Language
Vowel Sound of the Year
Achievement in Sound Effects (for English Robot 3000)

The ceremony will take place in a few weeks, so fingers crossed.

Here is the list of expressions which I use and explain in this podcast. It is all very useful for when you are travelling.
You’ll notice a lot of uses of Present Perfect Tense (have/has + past participle) in questions.
You’ll also notice the phrasal verbs – made of a verb + particle combination. They are very common, and there are lots in this podcast.

Here are the expressions:

Mind if I join you?
How’s it going?
Whereabouts?
Where in London?
I’m just up the road
No way!
How weird!
That’s right by my work
Really?
It’s a small world
How long have you been here?
I’ve been here about a week now
Are you staying long?
What about yourself?
We’re travelling through the whole area
Just travelling up through Vietnam
Where have you been so far?
I flew into Ho Chi Min City
I saw the sights
I flew up to Hanoi
I’ve got a mate up there
We had a laugh
Are you just travelling down the coast now?
Have you been to Hue?
No, we’re travelling south to north
I’m a bit templed out
They’re worth visiting
Beautiful views on the way
It’s pretty rank
Are you just going to stick around in Hanoi for a bit?
The plan is, just stick around here for a while
and then head down to Nha Trang
Chill out on the beach
I’m going to pass through Dalat
Do you know any good places to stay around here?
Just walk down this street
There’s an ATM on the corner
See you around!

That’s it.

Here’s a funny video by a pair of musician/comedians from New Zealand. This song is dedicated to English Robot 3000 and English Robot 4000. Which one should I choose to be my number 1 robot? Email me: luketeacher@hotmail.com

An interview with me about my holiday in Vietnam.

I recently bought an English speaking robot from Japan. His name is English Robot 3000, and he’s very nice. In this podcast, English Robot 3000 asks me questions about my holiday in Vietnam and I talk about what I did, where I went and how it felt.

The next podcast will contain lots of really useful language for meeting people when you are travelling.

Hope you enjoy the episode, and happy new year!

Here is a photo of English Robot 3000. There are photos of my Vietnam holiday on my Facebook profile.

English Robot 3000

Some vocabulary and expressions from our conversation:

The night Andy Got Arrested:

They know them by heart
For some reason we thought it might be funny to start throwing snowballs at the police station
He didn’t have a helmet, he had one of those little hats and it knocked his hat off
We started laughing hysterically
They put us in the cells for the night – “blimey”
We weren’t charged with anything, we were given, like, a verbal caution
I was very contrite and quiet and very apologetic
My friend Gareth, he got really indignant and really angry
Because he was mouthing off he didn’t get anything
They released us with a slap on the wrist and told us not to do it again
‘Snow crime officer!” – “Snow joke Luke!”

The Time Luke Got Caught by The Police for Skateboarding:

I consider myself to be a law abiding citizen, with a few minor indiscretions under my belt, but generally, you know, quite an honest, law abiding person
When I was twelve, I did have a run in with the police
I wasn’t a naughty child
My brother and I were both very into skateboarding at the time
An indoor shopping precinct
I felt quite awkward most of the time
Anyway right, cut a long story short…
Suddenly a police riot van turned up
This is like, a big van, with like, protection, you know, like a sort of, armoured van pulled up, and the doors swung open and just loads of police all just piled out of this van, and just, sort of, it was like an organised attack
A pincer movement
I decided to make a run for it too, kind of half heartedly
I just, sort of, casually ran towards the stairs, and the next thing I know; big hand on my shoulder, a big hairy policeman’s hand grabbed my shoulder
You’re nicked! Come here!
I looked up at him with these tears in my eyes, and with my lip trembling…
I wasn’t even capable of thinking straight
I was just really deeply traumatised
I went into a sort of state of shock
Next thing I know, policeman’s hand on my shoulder
The policeman looked at me, and felt pity and said “alright sonny, I’ll let you go”
He was a very friendly, kind of, jolly kind of policeman
Did they cuff you? They didn’t cuff us, no.
I think it’s terrible the way you’ve treated these children!
How dare you be so angry and aggressive!
Your Dad went ‘buck wild on their asses’!
My Dad just didn’t hold back
In the end I felt vindicated because my Father protected me, stood up for me against the, frankly brutal West Midlands Police.
Oppressive police reigime
I’ve always thought that you had potential criminal tendencies

Andy’s “I was wrongly accused of theft as a child!” Anecdote:

I’ve got a twin brother. “What, identical twin?” No, non identical. He’s the good looking one.
We were in this shop and we were looking at erasers, rubbers.
Apparently I just reached into my pocket and took the rubber out
We went home and he told my Mum.
Just, sort of, grassed you up to your parents.
I think I bought it. I must have bought it. I don’t think I deliberately stole it.
If I did steal it, it wasn’t intentional.
It was, kind of like, the manslaughter of theft.
Unintentional theft. There may have been mitigating circumstances.
Yeah, like it didn’t happen! That’s the mitigating circumstance.
You legitimately purchased it!
My brother was laughing in the background, smiling away.
We will be conducting a full investigation into the theft of the eraser.
They’re going to bring you in as well. You’re going to be an accessory.
I’ll just grass you up. I’ll do a deal with the Police.
You’re going to be a supergrass!
You’ll frame me.

Luke’s “Law breaking in Canada” photo album:

You might be wanted by interpol.
Maybe the mounties. The mounties always get their man!
They’re going to chase after me and get me. They might even make a sort of light hearted drama about it. Like, ‘a Canadian mountie travels to London in order to track down an infamous criminal’.
A fish out of water – riding around Regent Street on his big horse.
We decided we would take photos of ourselves breaking all of these by-laws.
That probably counted as a crime wave. It probably had the mounties baffled during the summer of ’97.
If I went back to Canada, they wouldn’t let me in. They’d bang me up.
Is that why you’ve been growing your hair, so they won’t recognise you?
Let’s stick the Queen’s speech on, shall we?
Everyone will be sat there with a glass of sherry.
“On a slightly sadder note. On one of my recent perusals of Luke’s English Podcast, it has been drawn to my attention, that there is a criminal on the loose in England! His name is Andy Johnson! And we must lock him up! Immediately!
People are going to leave their houses with bats, and they’ll be like an angry mob knocking on my Father’s door.
There’ll be, like, burning torches, pitch forks.
You can commit as many crimes as you like, and they don’t even bat an eyelid.
They’re very tolerant. They’re very liberal.
I think my crimes pale into (in)significance compared to what you did.
If you can get away with it, I’m going to get away with it.
People used to get hung, drawn and quartered for that in the middle ages.
Maybe he was aiming for the face, which for me is an aggravating circumstance.
Festive snowball attack.

Here are the photos from my holiday in Canada with my cousin. As you can see, we broke a lot of by-laws. It’s quite silly, but funny! This is 1997 when I was about 20. A long time ago!

CAUTION Do Not Jaywalk

No Smoking

Wrong Way

Private Property No Trespassing

Please keep off (of) flower beds (The ‘of’ is unnecessary!)

Please do not cross over flower beds

Caution Keep off Railing (this is actually quite dangerous!)

Please Do Not Touch

Do not pick the flowers

Improve your speaking by telling interesting and amusing anecdotes. In this episode you’ll learn about anecdotes, listen to a couple of stories told by some BBC radio DJs and learn some new vocabulary. Good extended listening practice. Enjoy!

Anecdotes
What are the characteristics of an anecdote?

• They’re quite funny
• They contain a story
• They include lots of descriptive details – like exactly what happened and what it looked like
• They include descriptions of the thoughts and feelings of the person involved
• Some details are exaggerated to make the story more interesting!
• They involve a comment at the end – e.g. what you’ve learned, what you think of the situation now

You’re going to listen to an anecdote by Adam Buxton, a BBC Radio DJ and comedian from South London.

The Adam & Joe Show is a weekly radio programme on BBC 6 Music every Saturday morning. The show is also available as a podcast from the BBC here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/adamandjoe/

Adam and Joe have known each other since they were children. They both grew up together in London, and became famous for making comedy television programmes and radio shows. Adam Buxton is also an actor who has been in British films such as Hot Fuzz, Stardust and Son of Rambow. Joe Cornish works in Hollywood as a screen writer. He is currently writing the screenplay for the Steven Spielburg film Tin-Tin.

Adam and Joe:

Listen to Adam’s anecdote and answer these questions:

1. Where was Adam when this happened and why was he there?
2. How does Adam know this happened when he was incredibly young?
3. What was lying on the floor? How did it get there?
4. Why did Adam think it was free?
5. What was Adam doing when his Dad found him?
6. What did Adam’s Dad say when he realised Adam had stolen the gum?
7. How did Adam’s Dad make his point?
8. What exactly happened to the gum?

Here’s some of the vocabulary from the recording of Adam and Joe. To get explanations of this language, you’ll have to listen to the podcast. I start giving definitions at about 22m40sec.

1. Do you think of me as a bit of a crim?
2. These are crimes you commit on kind of an instinctive basis
3. We don’t condone it. In fact if you enter this text competition we might pass your details on to the coppers.
4. This is one of my formative memories
5. The earliest memory I’ve got stashed away in my brainium
6. This is in the days when my Ma and Pa used to smoke cigs
7. Someone had knocked a packet of Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum off the shelf
8. The floor is no man’s land
9. That’s what Ronnie Biggs said in his defence. “It was on the floor! The gold fell on the floor!”
10. So, anyway, to cut a long story short, I stuffed the Wriggles in my pockles
11. I was fairly brazen about it
12. My Dad found me happily chomping some Wriggles
13. It’s tricky to get rid of the evidence. Just chew it. You can’t swallow it either
14. The police can forensic it
15. I was very freaked out
16. Gum’s not even flammable, is it?
17. It’s like a sort of a hellfire response! It’s like he’s a Baptist minister.
18. The foil just went all charcoaly and the gum just sort of melted

Practise your English by completing Adam’s story. This is a slightly basic version of the story (not exactly the same as the one in the recording). Don’t listen, just try and put the verbs in the correct form:

Well, my introduction to the shady world of crime (come about) __________ when I suppose I (be) _______________ about four or five. We (be) ____________ at the corner shop. This (be) _______________ in the days when my Ma and Pa (smoke) _______________ cigs. We (live) _______________ in Earl’s Court and we (be) _______________ at the corner shop. My Dad (buy) _______________ some cigs. I (know) _______________ I (be) _______________ incredibly young because the only shelf I (see) _______________ (be) _______________ the absolute bottom shelf, and that (be) _______________ where all the sweeties (be) _______________. And someone (knock) _______________ a packet of Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum off the shelf and it (just lie) _______________ on the floor, (call) _______________ my name. And I (be) _______________ the only one down there at that level, and I (look) _______________ at it and I (think) _______________ “Free gum! Free gum!”. I (remember) _______________ very clearly the logic process I (go through) _______________ in order to justify to myself that it (be) _______________ ok, because inside I (know) _______________ that it (steal) _______________. I remember (think) _______________ “it (fall) _______________ off the shelf and they don’t want it any more”.

Anyway, I (shove) _______________ the gum into my pocket, and (get) _______________ home and I (go) _______________ into my room. I didn’t believe I (commit) _______________ a serious crime, but my Dad (find) _______________ me happily (chomp) _______________ some gum, and he said “where did you get this gum? I didn’t buy you any chewing gum. You’re not allowed gum.” And I said “It was on the floor, it was broken!” And he said, “you (just steal) _______________ something! You stole this! You didn’t pay for it! If the police (find) _______________ out, you (go) _______________ to prison.”

I (be) _______________ very freaked out, and (make) _______________ his point even more forcefully, my Dad (burn) _______________ the gum. The foil just (go) _______________ all charcoaly and the gum just kind of (melt) _______________. It (smell) _______________ minty.

Here’s the complete script if you need it:

Well, my introduction to the shady world of crime came about when I suppose I must have been about four or five. We were at the corner shop. This is in the days when my Ma and Pa used to smoke cigs. We lived in Earl’s Court and we were at the corner shop. My Dad was buying some cigs. I know I was incredibly young because the only shelf I could see was the absolute bottom shelf, and that’s where all the sweeties were, and someone had knocked a packet of Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum off the shelf and it was just lying on the floor, calling my name. And I was the only one down there at that level, and I was looking at it and I was thinking “Free gum! Free gum!”. I remember very clearly the logic process I went through in order to justify to myself that it was ok, because inside I knew that it would be stealing.

I remember thinking “it’s fallen off the shelf and they don’t want it any more”.
Anyway, I shoved the gum into my pocket, and got home and I went into my room. I didn’t believe I had committed a serious crime, but my Dad found me happily chomping some gum, and he said “where did you get this gum? I didn’t buy you any chewing gum. You’re not allowed gum.” And I said “It was on the floor, it was broken!” And he said, “you’ve just stolen something! You stole this! You didn’t pay for it! If the police found out, you could go to prison.”

Wrigley’s Gum:

p.s. Here those ‘rules of life’ I talked about at the beginning of the podcast:

1. Don’t be dead
2. Get a job
3. Get money
4. Get food
5. Find friends / a life partner
6. Get married
7. Buy a nice house in a good neighbourhood – get on the property ladder
8. Get a broadband internet connection (so you can download Luke’s English Podcast)
9. Get an HD TV
10. Negotiate a good mobile phone contract
11. Look after your teeth
12. Eat plenty of fibre
13. Eat 5 portions of fruit or vegetables a day
14. Get plenty of sleep – at least 6 hours
15. Get regular sex
16. Reduce your carbon footprint – insulate your home
17. Watch the latest American dramas on TV
18. Consolidate all your monthly loan repayments
19. Learn another language
20. Call your parents
21. Exfoliate
22. Follow your dreams
23. Enjoy yourself.

So, the 23rd rule of life – Just ENJOY YOURSELF!

Earlier this year I made a video at the Notting Hill Carnival. Here are some of the bits which I didn’t include in the final edit. You can see that I got a bit frustrated on this day…

There are some bits of useful language in this video.

The text captions contain some phrasal verbs and other expressions. Here are some of those useful bits of language:

The door was putting me off – ‘to put someone off’ = the door was distracting me and stopping me from concentrating properly
The chair was getting in my way – ‘to get in your way’ = the chair was in my personal space and stopping me from moving freely
I couldn’t string a sentence together – ‘to string a sentence together’ = to be able to speak properly
I was starting to get really pissed off – ‘to get pissed off’ = to get annoyed and angry (it’s a slightly rude expression)
I can’t be bothered to carry an umbrella – ‘can’t be bothered’ = I’m too lazy to do it. I don’t want to make the effort to do it.
I might get caught in the rain – ‘to get caught in the rain’ – to be surpised by rain, and get wet because you’re unprepared
What the hell! = Who cares? It doesn’t matter!
Live life on the edge = Live a risky life
I’m waiting for my mobile phone to charge up – ‘to charge up’ = to put electricity into a battery
To run out = the battery becomes empty
I was in a funny mood, perhaps because I was tired or a little fed up – ‘fed up’ = slightly bored or unhappy
That must get quite claustrophobic and awkward – ‘claustrophobic’ = frightening because it is a small space. ‘awkward’ = uncomfortable and embarrassing

More audio podcasts coming soon!

More native speakers describing their home city of London. Transcript and definitions available below. Luke’s English Podcast is for learners of English as a second language. If there was an award for ‘Best Learning English Podcast by Someone Called Luke from West London” this would definitely win!

Westminster Square

(This guy has lived in London his whole life. He has quite a typical London accent. You can hear/see it in the way he pronounces the /th/ sound in words like ‘think’. He says ‘fink’.)
Man: Hello
Luke: So, are you from London?
Man: Yep, I sure am
Luke: How long have you lived here?
Man: Twenty one years
Luke: Right, okay, so what’s the best thing about it?
Man: Best thing? There’s always something to do, places to go. There’s a lot of tourist attractions around here… erm, things… that the main thing, it’s the things to do… you can never be bored in London
Luke: Yeah
Man: …always places and things to see
Luke: Ok, what’s the worst thing?
Man: Worst thing? Where it’s such a big city, it’s easy to get lost, and the amount of people that came here, come here… err, it’s easy to get lost, and people can push you out of the way and you can get lost within the people around London. It’s always busy, always always busy so be prepared to wait (and) get lost, basically…
Luke: Alright, great
Man: Cool
Luke: Thank you very much
Man: Thank you
Luke: Cheers

London Eye
(The first woman sounds quite ‘middle class’ and has a well-spoken southern English accent)
Woman: Hello
Luke: How long have you been in London now?
Woman: All my life, or… all of today as well
Luke: So (laughs)… okay, so you’re a proper Londoner then?
Woman: Yes
Luke: What’s the best thing about living here?
Woman: The people, err, the theatre, the sights, just the general buzz. It’s fun.
Luke: Okay, what about the worst thing?
Woman: Err, the commuting, the transport, but other than that it’s pretty great all round
Luke: Ok, thank you very much
Woman: Ok, thank you, bye
Luke: Cheers, bye

South Bank
(The woman on the left is from somewhere very close to London and has a typical London accent, her friend on the right is originally from somewhere in the north of England, and has – I think – a Lancashire accent, but not very strong)
Friends: Hi, hello
Luke: So, where are you from?
Friend 1: I’m from just outside London
Friend 2: and originally I’m from the north of England and I moved to London about 8 years ago
Luke: Ok, right. But you’ve both been living in London for quite a few years
Friend 1: Twenty odd years, yeah
Luke: Right. So what’s the best thing about it?
Friend 2: I think the best thing about London is, we were talking about it earlier, erm…
Friend 1: Skyline
Friend 2: Yeah, when you step out somewhere, you feel like you’re on a film set. It must be like, I’ve never been to New York, but you feel like every building is recognisable, everything’s like a film set. It’s so busy and buzzy. It’s fantastic.
Friend 1: And there’s always lots to do
Luke: Right, what about the worst thing?
Friend 1: Tubes
Friend 2: Tubes are bad, yeah
Friend 1: Tubes in the summer, with no air conditioning
Friend 2: It’s a bit lonely as well, you don’t know, often you never see the same face again…
Friend 1: You see, I don’t agree with that
Friend 2: Occasionally it can be a bit lonely. And the crime’s not brilliant.
Luke: Right, thank you very much
Friend 2: Right, you’re welcome
Friend 1: Ok, thank you
Luke: Fantastic

City of London (This is the financial heart of London. The view you can see in the video is from Waterloo Bridge)
(This girl has a typical accent that most young people have in London these days)
Luke: What’s the best thing about London?
Girl: By f… (by far) the best thing in London is the nightlife… and… but it’s got loads of restaurants and pubs… but it’s got loads of everything really. You’re spoilt for choice here. Very spoilt for choice.
Luke: Ok, what about the worst thing?
Girl: The worst thing, it’s quite expensive… especially the, especilly the train, the tube is very expensive for example. And there’s always delays on the tube as well. Erm… That’s it really. I can’t think of anything else.
Luke: Ok, great. Thank you.
Girl: That’s it?
Luke: That’s it, thanks very much
Girl: Thank you very much

South Bank Skate Park (This is a small area on the South Bank of the Thames near Waterloo Bridge & The London Eye where there is a skate park for skateboarders and ‘BMXers’ and graffiti artists)

(This guy is a BMXer – someone who rides a BMX bike. He also has the kind of informal London accent that many young people in London speak with these days)
BMXer: Alright
Luke: How’s it going?
BMXer: Good
Luke: Alright, so, do you live in London?
BMXer: Yeah
Luke: How long have you lived here?
BMXer: All my life. 20 years.
Luke: Ok, so you’re a proper Londoner then
BMXer: Yeah
Luke: What’s the best thing about living here
BMXer: Well, actually I think the best thing is the skate parks. Just ‘cos (because) I’m a BMXer, and I like… it’s a good atmosphere everywhere when you get to a skate park, everyone’s all, like, having fun and everything
Luke: Yeah yeah yeah
BMXer: That’s the best part, man
Luke: There’s like, about 4 or 5 isn’t there, over London
BMXer: Yeah, more actually, I think there’s more than that but, I just… I know of a few, like…. I live in Stockwell and there’s one there, and this one here.
Luke: Ok, what’s the worst thing about London?
BMXer: Probably just some areas like Brixton, Peckham, stuff like that… You hear of crime and people getting mugged and… but… well it is late at night, but still… that’s, that’s probably the worst thing anyway, you’ve just got to be careful in places like that.
Luke: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Ok, thank you very much.
BMXer: Ok
Luke: Cheers

tourist attractions – things which attract tourists (like the famous buildings, etc)
the sights – tourist attractions, famous things to see (e.g. the famous buildings, the London Eye)
the general buzz – the exciting and lively atmosphere
the commuting – travelling from home to work every day (usually from outside the city into the city)
Twenty odd years – about/approximately twenty years
Skyline – the shape of the city against the sky. E.g. New York has a famous skyline.
a film set – a place where a film is being made
buzzy – lively, atmospheric
You’re spoilt for choice here – you have so many choices that it’s difficult to decide which one to choose
skate parks – places for skateboarders to go skateboarding
getting mugged – being robbed in a public place

To listen/download this episode, CLICK HERE to visit Luke’s English Podcast.

Here are the lyrics to the “Feeling Sick Rap”

I’m sick, I’m sick
I’m under the weather
But in a few days
I’m gonna feel better

I’ve been coughing and sneezing
all day and all night
But don’t worry about me
I’m gonna be alright

Cos (because) I think I’m coming down with a cold
It gets worse and worse, the more you get old

My doctor told me
It’s gonna be fine Luke
It’s just a cold
You’re not suffering from swine flu!

Here’s a list of the phrasal verbs and expressions I teach in this episode.

To be under the weather – To feel a bit ill / have a cold because of the weather
To be off colour – To feel a bit ill
To pick something up – to catch something “I picked up a cold last week”
To come down with something – To catch something “I think I’m coming down with a cold”
To look after someone – To take care of someone
To fight something off – To try your best to get better “I’m trying to fight off my cold by going to work”
To shake something off – To try to get better “I’ve been trying to shake off this cold for days and days”
To pass out – To faint / suddenly fall asleep from weakness or sickness
To throw up – to vomit / to puke
To swell up / swollen – to expand because there’s a problem with it “My glands have swollen up”

Here’s the conversation which includes the list of symptoms. To get definitions of the symptoms, you’ll have to listen to the podcast:

Friend: Hi, how’s it going?

Luke: Oh, not too good really

Friend: No, you sound a bit ill

Luke: Yeah, I’m a bit under the weather actually

Friend: Oh really? What’s the matter?

Luke: Oh, I think I’ve got flu or a cold or something, I don’t know

Friend: Really? What are your symptoms?

Luke: Just the usual things, you know. A sore throat, a headache, a cough, aches and pains, cold chills, a stomach ache, it hurts when I swallow, my glands are swollen up, I’ve been throwing up quite a lot, I’m sneezing all the time, I’ve got a stiff neck and a bad back, my lips are dry, I feel a bit dizzy, I’m losing my voice, I’ve got gas and indigestion, I’ve got diarrhea, my joints ache, I’ve lost my appetite and I don’t have any energy or enthusiasm for anything really, my hands are shaking, I feel drowsy, I’m wheezing quite a lot, I’ve got a lot of phlegm and catarrh, I get cold sweats at night, I’ve got lots of mouth ulcers and I feel quite de-hydrated, I can’t sleep properly or get comfortable when I sit down, I keep sniffing and blowing my nose and I’ve got a cold sore on my lip, and to top it all off I’ve got athlete’s foot, and a sprained ankle and a broken leg as well. That’s it really.

Friend: Uh huh? Have you seen a doctor?

Luke: Um, no. No I haven’t. That’s a good idea. I’ll do that then.

Friend: Yeah, you should do that because you sound really really really ill.

Luke: Oh ok, I’ll go to the doctor’s. Thanks for your advice.

Friend: That’s no problem. Have a nice day.

Luke: Thanks, you too. Bye bye *coughs* bye bye bye

Here’s the link to the BBC’s information page about swine flu. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8021958.stm

To watch/download the video, CLICK HERE to visit Luke’s English Podcast.

You can also watch the video on YouTube here:

A NOTE ON SUBTITLES IN VIDEOS:

This video has subtitles – you can listen to me and read at the same time.

That makes it nice and easy for you, doesn’t it?

However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to watch videos with subtitles every time.

There are no subtitles in my recent videos.

This probably makes it difficult for you to understand everything the native speakers say in their interviews.

But, I believe it is better for your English to survive without subtitles.

There are no subtitles when you talk to people in real life, right?

So it is better to practise your listening without relying on subtitles.

When you watch a video with subtitles (like now), you are not really listening like normal. You’re reading too.

If you always do that, you will find it difficult when you actually talk to people in English.

So, when you watch the video interviews on this site, don’t worry if you don’t understand everything.

If you want to understand every word in the video interviews, you can. You don’t need subtitles.

Here’s how:

1. Watch a video with interviews in it (e.g. London Video Interviews Pt.1)

Try to understand as much as possible, but don’t worry if you can’t understand everything.

These are native speakers, talking naturally, so it might be difficult.

2. Then, find the transcript to the video by going to http://teacherluke.podomatic.com

It’s a good idea to print the transcript if you can. You could highlight the text and then paste it into a Word document, then print it.

3. Next, read the transcript and listen to the video at the same time.

Underline words or phrases that you don’t understand.

Think about differences in the words in the transcript, and the way the speakers say them in the interview.

4. After that, study the words / phrases that you don’t understand.

Do this with a dictionary, or by googling the words.

Google is good because you can find lots of examples of a new word being used in other situations.

Remember that some phrases may be idiomatic – so you might have to guess what they mean.

Use your intelligence! Be a ‘text detective’.

5. After you’ve studied the transcripts, watch/listen to the interviews again but without the transcript.

Watch the speakers’ mouths when they speak and think about how they pronounce the words and sentences.

Now, you should be able to understand the interviews completely, at the same level as a native speaker.

6. Read the transcript out loud.

Actually say the words, and try to copy the way they are pronounced in the interviews.

Don’t just stop at listening and understanding – it’s really important to combine skills and convert listening comprehension and pronunciation awareness into speaking practice.

Have fun, but don’t make a fool of yourself by reading the sentences out loud in public!

7. Try to remember any words or phrases in the interviews which you think are useful.

8. Practise by recording yourself talking about good/bad things about your city, or about London.

Listen to the recording. Try not to be embarrassed by the sound of your own voice. This is natural. Just listen to yourself in order to get a better understanding of your speaking, so you can work on your weak points.

Don’t forget to feel good about what you do well too.

This is a much longer process than just watching a video with subtitles, but I think you will agree that in the long run it is much better for your English.

It is much better to learn to listen by actually listening and looking at the speaker’s face, not by reading subtitles.

Also, if you follow the steps above you can train yourself to listen well and learn about vocabulary, pronunciation and speaking too.

That’s it!

Enjoy the videos…

Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye!

To listen to/download just the audio track of the video, CLICK HERE.

Watch the video on YouTube here:

More interviews with native English speakers in London. Transcripts & definitions available below. This video was filmed in Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square, Chinatown and Picadilly Circus in the centre of London.

Hello learners of English, here is the transcript for the second video with interviews in the centre of London.

Use these videos as an opportunity to practise listening to authentic English conversations in a natural context. It’s a good chance to get exposure to English by native speakers, especially if you don’t live in an English speaking country.

Graphic design student: Hello
Luke: So, how long have you been in London?
Graphic design student: Two weeks
Luke: Really? What do you do?
Graphic design student: Err, graphic design. Camberwell, School of the Arts.
Luke: Ok. So, your first two weeks.
Graphic design student: First two weeks. It’s quite a big impact. Very big, lots of people, and it’s quite expensive as well.
Luke: Ok. What’s the best thing about it?
Graphic design student: Err, night life. Very good night life. It’s got, you know, erm… If you go to the right places… A lot of action, erm, you know, a lot of friendly people as well.
Luke: Excellent. What about the worst thing?
Graphic design student: Depends on where you go. I mean, there’s quite a lot of, err, muggers about, dodgy people looking at your weirdly. You want to just, turn, turn away from them
Luke: Ok yeah
Graphic design student: Apart from that, generally a lot of people are quite nice. I mean, there’s some people that shove about, but, you know, you’ve just got to deal with it.
Luke: Ok, thank you very much
Graphic design student: That’s ok
Luke: Cheers.

Luke: So, hello
Girl in red scarf: Hello
Luke: Where are you from?
Girl in red scarf: I live in Redhill, which is about half an hour away from London
Luke: Ok, erm, how long have you lived there?
Girl in red scarf: Two weeks!
Luke: Ok. Everyone’s been living in London for two weeks for some reason. So, what’s London really like then?
Girl in red scarf: London, well, London’s a really really massive place which can be quite overwhelming, but it’s not that scary after you’ve, you know, got stuck in there. Erm, London has everything you’d ever want, if you’re into theatres, art, education, night clubs, anything. Erm, I would say, just get stuck in there and go for it!
Luke: Ok, great, and what’s the worst thing about London?
Girl in red scarf: The worst thing… oooh the worst thing… err, I think the worst thing would have to be the pollution. It’s probably not as bad as some countries, but you always feel like you’ve got black fingernails.
Luke: Ok. Thank you very much.
Girl in red scarf: Thank you

Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Hi!
Luke: So, are you from London too?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Yes, I am
Luke: Ok, so how long have you lived here?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Err, my whole life. Luke: Ok, so you’re a real Londoner
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Yes, a real Londoner
Luke: Ok, what’s it like then, living here?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): What’s it really like? Erm, well I think it’s fantastic. It’s nice to live in such a cosmopolitan place with lots of things to do. You can never say that you’re bored or have nothing to do because then that’s all down to you, so…
Luke: What’s the best thing about it?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Erm…
Luke: You might have just answered that
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Yes I think I have. Just the variety and everything you want to do. Lots of things for different age groups, there’s always something for someone to do. I would say the best thing is, like, the cultural little occasions that we have, like Chinese New Year and things like that, where you have big street parties. I would say that’s the best thing.
Luke: Ok, what about the worst thing?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Oh… I don’t like to answer that question
The girl with the red scarf (off screen): Pigeons!
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Oh yeah! I hate pigeons! I hate pigeons! They’re just…
Luke: What’s wrong with them?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): They’re diseased!
Luke: They’re diseased. Flying rats.
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Yes
Luke: Right?
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): Yeah. That’s the worst thing, I don’t dislike anything else.
Luke: Ok, thank you very much
Real Londoner girl (who hates pigeons): You’re welcome
Luke: Cheers

Smartly dressed couple: Hi
Luke: So, are you from London
Smartly dressed girl: Err, we’ve just moved here, yeah.
Luke: Just moved here, right, so err… How long have you been here?
Smartly dressed girl: Err… We’ve been here for a couple of weeks.
Luke: Ok. Everyone I’ve interviewed today has been in London for, like, two weeks. I don’t know why… So, what’s London really like then? What do you think?
Smartly dressed guy: Err, it’s a huge place. There must be about 10 million people living here. It’s got a lot of good things, bad things. It’s vibrant, it’s multicultural. It’s got fantastic places to eat, fantastic places to go out in the evening.
Smartly dressed girl: Fantastic theatre, fantastic restaurants. Fantastic museums, art galleries. Absolutely loads of stuff.
Luke: Ok
Smartly dressed guy: It’s a fast paced place. People seem to be moving around a lot faster than in the rest of the country
Smartly dressed girl: Sometimes that can get quite a bit much, you know. People sort of rushing everywhere all the time
Smartly dressed guy: But it’s interesting, but there’s also negatives to living here
Smartly dressed girl: It’s very congested, it’s very expensive. Err, extremely expensive, public transport is expensive. It’s hard… it can take a long time to get anywhere
Smartly dressed guy: And there’s also a lot of pollution, and crime as well. So, if you come to live here I think it’s about finding the right enclave…
Smartly dressed girl: Yeah, the right neighbourhood to live in, definitely…
Smartly dressed guy: And having friends. Set up your own community of friends, rather than knowing your next door neighbour.
Luke: Yeah. Ok, thank you very much
Smartly dressed guy: No worries
Luke: Cheers, bye bye
Smartly dressed girl: Cheers, bye

Vocabulary definitions:
Here are some definitions of some of the vocabulary in the video.

night life – social life at night, for example clubs and bars
a lot of action – lots of exciting things happening, and lots of nice girls to meet
muggers – criminals who might steal things from you in public (e.g. attack you and steal your bag)
dodgy people – people who are strange and can’t be trusted
looking at your weirdly – looking at you in a strange way
turn away from them – look/turn in the other direction
shove about – push people when in a large crowd (e.g. pushing people when getting on or off a crowded train)
you’ve just got to deal with it – you have to just learn to live with it. You can’t let it make you unhappy.
massive
overwhelming – having such a great effect on you that you feel confused and do not know how to react
if you’re into theatres, art, education, night clubs, anything – ‘to be into something’ means to be interested in it, or to enjoy it
just get stuck in there – get involved without hesitation or fear
and go for it – just do it!
pollution – dirty air caused by cars, bad air conditioners etc
a cosmopolitan place – a place with lots of people from all over the world (positive adjective)
Pigeons – very common birds which you find in the city (see the video at about 3:33)
vibrant – full of energy and activity in an exciting way
multicultural – involving people from many different cultures
fast paced – with a quick lifestyle (e.g. people rushing about everywhere, walking very quickly, in a hurry)
get quite a bit (too) much – be stressful and annoying
congested – full of traffic, lots of traffic jams
the right enclave – a small area within the city in which you live and feel comfortable
neighbourhood – part of town in which you live

For the audio track only, CLICK HERE.

You can watch the video on YouTube here:

Here is the first of a series of video podcasts featuring interviews with people I met in the centre of London recently. I went into London on a Tuesday morning and politely asked members of the public if they would like to do a short interview for people around the world who are learning English and who are interested in listening to native speakers, and finding out about life in London. Some people didn’t want to be interviewed, and ignored me! But most people I asked were very friendly and happy to talk to me for a few minutes. This is the first video, and includes interviews with people outside Buckingham Palace (home of The Queen), in St. James’s Park and on The Mall (the road towards Buckingham Palace). I hope you enjoy them, and find them useful. There are more videos coming soon, featuring interviews in different parts of central London.

Watch the video and try to understand their comments.
Then use the transcript to help you understand what they said.
Try to guess the meaning of any expressions you don’t know.
You can find some definitions of vocabulary and expressions at the bottom of the transcript.
The people in the interviews come from different places. Listen carefully and see if you can identify differences in the accents they have.

Enjoy the video. Part 2 is coming soon…

London! Capital of Great Britain. Home to over 7 million people, including: The Queen, The Prime Minister, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond and Mr Bean.
Considered by some to be the home of the English language, it’s also one of the biggest and more important financial and cultural centres in the world. It has a rich cultural history, a diverse population and loads of cool stuff to do at the weekends.

But what is London really like for the people who live there?

Hi, well, I’ve got a video camera, I’ve got an Oyster card and I’ve got the day off, so I’m going to go into the centre of London, meet some real Londoners and ask them, “what’s London really like?” Why don’t you join me? Come on, let’s go shall we?

Buckingham Palace:

This man is from somewhere in the south of England, possibly in London or near London. He has a southern English accent.
Luke: So, um, what do you think of London? What’s it really like?
Man: London’s a very nice place to be, yeah.
Luke: Yeah?
Man: Yeah.
Luke: What’s the best thing about it?
Man: The best thing is the architecture, the old stuff…
Luke: Yeah, yeah. Like Buckingham Palace
Man: Like Buckingham Palace, yeah
Luke: What about…
Man: Anything else, yeah?
Luke: What about the worst thing?
Man: The worst thing is… all the rest, I’m afraid.
Luke: Everything else?
Man: Everything else, gone to the dogs.
Luke: Really, it’s all gone to the dogs?
Man: With the country.
Luke: Ok. Alright, thank you very much. Cheers.
Man: Thank you.

These girls are from Hull, which is in Yorkshire in the north of England. They’re in London on holiday. They have Yorkshire accents.
Luke: Hello
Girls: Hi!
Luke: So, where are you from?
Girls: Erm, Hull.
Luke: Hull? Ok, so how long have you been in London?
Blonde girl: We came yesterday
Luke: Ok, what do you think? What’s London like?
Redhead girl: Really good!
Blonde girl: It’s a bit busy
Brunette girl: busy
Luke: Right, okay. What’s, err, what’s the best thing about it?
Redhead girl: The weather, the last couple of days
Blonde girl: Yeah, it’s been hotter than it is back home
Redhead girl: It’s been really nice, yeah.
Luke: So it’s better here than it is in Hull, is it?
Redhead girl: It is
Blonde girl: Yeah, but we couldn’t live here all the time
Redhead girl: The worst thing about it is the tube, the underground
Luke: Why? What’s wrong with the tube?
Redhead girl: It’s too stressful
Brunette girl: It’s too hot and busy
Redhead girl: and grimy
Luke: Busy, grimy, stressful… ok. Anything else to say to the people of the world?
Blonde girl: Come to London!
Redhead girl: Hiiii! Come to Hull to go out with us
Blonde girl: Come to Hull
Redhead girl: We’ll have lots of fun
Luke: Great, thank you very much

This couple are from New York City in USA. They have New York accents.
Luke: Hello. So, where are you from?
American man: We’re from the good old USA, the biggest city in the world, New York…
Luke: Oh, amazing
American man: …which cannot compare to London.
Luke: Really?
USA man: I wanna just express our love for England, the people, and especially the British Airway[s] that brought us here. They were so polite and extended themselves to the best airline that I travelled [on] all over the world.
Luke: Great
USA Man: Now coming to England, we stayed at the Holiday Inn, and the people and the experience at the Holiday Inn was super.
Luke: Excellent
USA Man: We just came from the Holiday Inn to see the Buckingham Palace and now we’re going to from here to Picadilly Square [Circus]. Yeah, great.
Luke: Great!
USA man: Thank you
USA woman: A wonderful experience
USA man: A wonderful experience
Luke: I’m very glad, that’s great.
USA man: And where is this going?
Luke: This is going on a website for people who are learning English as a foreign language, so it’s just going to be on, err… I work for this school, The London School of English and also I’m going to put it on a kind of podcast website for people all over the world, so, that’s great.
USA man: Now, what is that over there? (pointing at the Queen Victoria Memorial)
Luke: That? Err, I’m not sure to be honest. Err, it’s…
USA woman: It’s a nice statue.
Luke: It’s a lovely statue, covered in gold.
USA man: Uh huh, okay
Luke: Err, it… I don’t really know who all these people are, to be honest with you.
USA man: Well, I’m gonna take a picture
Luke: Exactly. It’s big and it’s shiny, so just take a picture of it.

St. James’s Park:

The man is from Middlesex, which is to the west of London. He has quite a posh accent. The woman is from the German/Danish border and has a German sounding accent.
Luke: So, where are you from? First of all.
Man: Well, I’m from Pinner, in Middlesex, which is near enough London, and we just come up once a week. It’s a long time ago now, I’m talking about before the war, and during the war, yes. A long time. And madam…
Woman: I’m from Schleswig Holstein [on the German/Danish border] but I love London. Love it. My son lives here and I need to go from time to time, because… it’s such a life city isn’t it?
Luke: it is
Man: Recharge your batteries
Woman: Yes, yes. And, so green too! All these lovely parks, you know? And I think it’s the most beautiful city in the world.
Man: Sounds as though she’s selling it
Luke: Is she… it does! Yes. What do you think, I mean, we, err, you think it’s the most beautiful city in the world, but, is there a, what about bad things? What’s the worst thing about London?
Man: Well, I used to work just down there in Victoria… Victoria Station House. Erm, no, I… it tends to be a little dirty, a lot of rubbish around. I have the impression that’s got a bit better lately. I don’t know whether that’s true.
Luke: Right.
Woman: I was in Rome, and I told them all that London was much more beautiful and they all shouted me down, so…
Luke: Oh really…
Woman: But when the sun shines, you know… and all these green places, and nothing drives me mad because you expect a bit of dirt and… don’t you?
Luke: Yes, in the city
Woman: Yes, yes. And it has good communication, I mean you can go everywhere, and I love it
Man: You’ll never stop her, but I must
Woman: So, shall we go now?
Luke: Great, thank you very much
Man: Not at all
Luke: Have a lovely day
Woman: You have a lovely day
Luke: Thank you
Man: Don’t you sell that
Luke: I’m not selling it, don’t worry. Alright, cheers.

The Mall:

Girl 1 is from Blackpool, which is in Lancashire in the North West of England. She has a Lancashire accent. Girl 2 is from Reading which is about 30 mins or 1 hour west of London. She has a fairly typical southern English accent.
Girl 1: Hello
Luke: Where are you from?
Girl 1: I’m from Blackpool, which is up north
Girl 2: I’m from just near Reading, just near London
Luke: Ok. So, how long have you been here?
Girl 1: I’ve lived in London for about 2 weeks so far
Girl 2: And I’ve lived in London for probably the last 4 years
Luke: OK, right so what’s London like then?
Girl 1: So far London’s quite exciting. I’ve been surprised by how many things are going on all the time, sort of, day and night. There’s always something to do, always something free to do, and so far it’s not rained!
Luke: Eyy! Great. Err, yourself?
Girl 2: Err, yeah the same, like, it’s been a good place to live. I don’t know, because I’ve been here for so long, I probably don’t really take as much advantage of it as I should do.
Luke: Yep, what’s the worst thing about London?
Girl 2: Erm… Traffic, commuting, going around, I think… Price.
Luke: Yeah, it’s very expensive. Have you discovered a worst thing yet?
Girl 1: Erm, honestly, the worst thing is it’s quite difficult to meet people, and because a lot of people live so far away, it’s quite difficult to get to them, it’s quite hard to see your friends, so it can sometimes be quite lonely.
Luke: Ok, thank you very much. Cheers.

Definitions of some vocabulary and expressions:

What’s London really like?
This question: “What is it like?” means “tell me about it” or “how is it?”. It does not mean: “What do you like about London?”
e.g. What is London like? – it’s busy
What do you like about it? – I like the theatres

It’s gone to the dogs = everything is much worse now than it was before

grimy = dirty

recharge your batteries = to give yourself some energy, by doing something pleasant and stimulating

to shout someone down = to disagree with someone loudly in order to stop them talking

to take advantage of something = to use something good which is available to you

commuting = travelling from home to work every day

Vocabulary and listening on the subject of money and the economy. Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for learners of English. Use this podcast to get exposure to natural British English. Listen to it wherever and whenever you want to. Luke is a well experienced and qualified English teacher, with plenty of other interests. Improve your English with this podcast, and have fun!

Hello everyone, this podcast is all about MONEY – cash, pounds, dosh, currency, capital, loot, notes, coins, credit, loose change, deniro – call it what you like – we all love to get it and then spend it on STUFF!

In this podcast you’ll hear me talk about money and the economic crisis. I use 12 phrasal verbs. Can you find them? I also discuss a few idioms, sayings and quotations about money.

12 phrasal verbs

Here is the transcript of the part of the podcast in which I use 12 phrasal verbs connected to money:

These days, many of us are living in tough times. The economic crisis is making life difficult for many people in this country. We’re all having to economise and cut back on our spending. Nowardays there is less credit available in the money markets and this is having a knock-on effect in our lives.

Unemployment is going up and house prices have gone down over the last few years. The Bank of England used tax payers’ money to bail out many of the banks which were facing insolvency due to their poor investments in so-called ‘toxic assets’ (many of them originating in the American sub-prime real estate markets). The government lowered interest rates to help people pay off their bank loans and mortgages. VAT was lowered to 15% in order to encourage us to splash out in shops up and down the country, and inject more money into the economy.

Some people are not being affected so seriously; particularly the wise individuals who have saved up their money in secure savings accounts. When they need to, they can just dip into their savings in order to pay for an unexpected household repair or a much needed holiday. But for many of us, we just have to get by every month on our monthly salaries. It’s not easy though, particularly in London when everything is so expensive. We try to pay off our loans and mortgages while trying to avoid taking too much cash out of the many cash machines which are available to us all over the city.

The energy companies in particular seem to be ripping everyone off with the price of oil and electricity. It’s almost as though they’re using global warming as an excuse for charging us extortionate amounts for our energy, even though wholesale market prices have dropped in recent months. There’s something rotten going on somewhere.

Big companies and banks seem to get protection from the state, while the average tax payer has to pick up the pieces by working harder, cutting back on our spending, moving into more modest accommodation, or accepting badly paid work because we have no choice. Perhaps it has to be that way – the big companies have to be protected in order to support the economy. It just seems a little unfair that’s all, and I’m sure there are some CEOs and directors who are still doing very well while the rest of us struggle to get by.

Still, it’s not all bad. The lower interest rates on bank loans and mortgages mean we don’t have to pay back so much money each month, and there is now so much freely available entertainment on the internet that it’s quite easy to have a good time without reaching too deep into our pockets.

So, take advantage of free internet content like this. But, if you’re doing okay for money at the moment, and you’re feeling generous – you could always donate some money to me via PayPal!

Did you find the phrasal verbs? Here they are:

1. to cut back on spending – this means to spend less than before. To try and reduce your spending. E.g. “I’m going to have to cut back on my spending in order to save up some money”
2. to go up – this means to increase
3. to go down – this means to decrease
4. to bail someone out – this means to save someone by giving them money. It’s usually used when the government gives money to a company or bank in order to save them from insolvency. E.g. “The government bailed out the banks by giving them £5billion of tax payers’ money”
5. to splash out – this means to spend quite a lot of money in a care-free way when you go shopping. E.g. “I was feeling a bit depressed, so I went to the shopping centre and just splashed out on some new clothes”
6. to save up – this means to save money. E.g. “I’m saving up for a holiday in Italy next year”
7. to dip into savings – this means to go into your savings account, and take a bit of money out. E.g. “I can’t afford to pay my electricity and telephone bills this month. I’m going to have to dip into my savings”
8. to get by – this means to survive, usually on a small amount of money. E.g. “Students in London find it difficult to get by on money they earn from part-time work”
9. to pay something off – this means to completely pay a loan or debt. E.g. “YEAH!!! I’ve finally paid off my student loan!”
10. to take some cash out – this means to withdraw money from a bank or cash machine
11. to rip someone off – to charge too much money for something. To give a bad price. E.g. “You always get completely ripped off in Harrods. You can by the same stuff in other shops for much less money. The prices are just high because it’s Harrods.”
12. to pay something back – to give money back. When you have borrowed money, you have to pay it back each month.

Here are the idioms, sayings and quotes I talk about in the podcast too:

“They say the best things in life are free” – This just means that the most important things are free; like friendship, love, trust, etc.

“Money makes the world go round” – This means that financial transactions, trade & business are what makes everything happen in the world.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees” – This means that you have to work for money. You can’t get it without working.

“Money is the root of all evil” – This means that most of the bad things that people do are the result of their greed for money.

“Money money money: it’s a rich man’s world” – This is a quote from a song by the Swedish pop group, Abba.

“Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” – This is a quote from a song by Notorious BIG featuring Puff Daddy and Mace.

Authentic listening practice. Transcript available below. Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for people who are learning English as a foreign language. Luke is a well qualified teacher of English with over 8 years’ experience in both Japan and the UK. He speaks British English, and teaches at a language school in London. You can use this podcast to get exposure to native speakers using natural English. Learn phrasal verbs, idioms, useful expressions, linkers, etc. Find Luke on Facebook (search for Luke’s English Podcast) or Twitter (@EnglishPodcast). Cheers!

This episode is all about Doctor Who. There are some announcements at the beginning of the episode, then an interview with an expert on Dr Who.

The interview begins at approximately 10.00 minutes into the episode.

Some good advice for iPhone users (courtesy of a helpful listener from Russia, called Nikita Kolganov): Copy and paste the tapescript from a podcast into the ‘lyrics’ section of each podcast on your iPhone. To do this, first copy the text from this webpage. Then go into iTunes and ‘right click’ the podcast episode there. Then choose ‘Get Info’, then select ‘Lyrics’. You can add the transcript into the text box there, and then read while you listen to the podcast. Thanks Nick!

Here’s the tapescript for the interview with Lee, about Dr Who:

Luke: Right, if you imagine somebody who’s never heard of Dr Who before, right, how can you explain who he really is. So, so, if, what are the most important things that you should know about Dr Who if you’ve never heard of him before, basically.

Lee: Well, Dr Who is, err, a TV show that it’s main character, a character called The Doctor, who is in fact an alien, has a machine that can travel through time and space, which means that he is able to go anywhere in any planet, any point in the future, the past, whenever.

Luke: Erm, what’s the name of that machine?

Lee: It’s called The Tardis.

Luke : And can you just describe The Tardis? That’s like his spaceship, yeah? Can you describe The Tardis for us? Because in Britain here, everybody knows The Tardis, like, almost everybody knows it. It’s very familiar to us. It’s almost like an icon of British culture. But what is The Tardis? What does it look like?

Lee: Well, The Tardis looks like a 1960s police box, and in the days before mobile telephones and actually people having telephones in their houses, these blue police boxes were like an old phone box, and they also had a double function in that if a criminal caught a policeman [if a policeman caught a criminal] they would be locked up inside this police box, and they also had a phone, so they were a very common object in 1960s Britain, early 1960s Britain when Dr Who started.

Luke: So, it looks a bit like a red telephone box, but it’s blue, and it’s something the police use to make telephone calls. And they could use it to keep criminals in. They could lock a criminal in there if they needed to.

Lee: Exactly. It was a very everyday object which everybody would have known.

Luke: Ok, so everybody knows about what a police box is so…

Lee: But of course it’s not really just a police box because it’s actually bigger on the inside than on the outside.

Luke: Ok, so Dr Who’s spaceship is in the shape of a police box. It’s called The Tardis but it’s actually bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Ok, right, fine. Um, actually, people these days often use the word Tardis to mean something that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside. Can you give me an example of how we might use the word Tardis to mean something else?

Lee: Well actually there’s quite a famous example when Tony Blair was Prime Minister, in one of the last interviews he did before he left the post, I think it was with The Guardian, the interviewer asked him what was 10 Downing Street like…

Luke: That’s the Prime Minister’s house.

Lee: And he said, oh it’s like The Tardis, and he didn’t need to say anything else but everybody would know that he means it looks smaller on the outside but it’s much bigger on the inside.

Luke: Right, ok. I’ve heard people say that, like, a woman’s handbag is like The Tardis, sometimes, because it looks like a small handbag, but you can actually keep lots and lots of things inside it…

Lee: And such is the power of the programme that even if you’ve never seen Dr Who in this country, you will know if somebody says “It’s like a Tardis”, you will know that it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.

Luke: Right, ok, so that’s what Tardis means to everybody now. OK, what are the other important things that we need to know about Dr Who?

Lee: Erm, well, we need to know the fact that the programme started in 1963, and that means that you get a very good representation of how British society evolved in a kind of televisual way. A record of the times, our changing attitudes to race, to women’s lib, to even things like joining of the common market in the early 70s…

Luke: What do you mean by women’s lib?

Lee: Well The Doctor, traditionally is always accompanied by a female companion, and this was specifically because the programme’s original remit was to entertain a family audience on Saturday afternoon.

Luke: It’s a family show

Lee: Yeah, it’s very much a family show. One that was designed to catch the fathers who’d been watching an afternoon of sport on a saturday, with family who watched, like a pop music programme… it was designed to keep everybody watching, and of course it was hugely successful when it started so it achieved its aim.

Luke: Ok. So, ok, so basically err, he always has a female companion. I think that Dr Who has also had, like, a robot companion as well, right?

Lee: He has, he has, and err, he had a robot companion in the late 70s but he actually… people have thought that it was because Star Wars came out, and C3PO and R2-D2 but actually Dr Who was a year before Star Wars, so…

Luke: Really? So before… everybody knows about Star Wars, they know about R2-D2 and C3P0, but Dr Who before Star Wars had K9. K9 was like a robot dog! (laughs)

Lee: Of course the most important thing to remember is that when the show first started in 1963, the guy who was playing The Doctor was a very old guy, and after 3 years playing the role, it became very obvious that he was ill and he couldn’t do it, and they were like “what are we going to do?”. So, they devised… because we didn’t know who this character was, or where he came from, in 1966 they changed the actor, but made it a part of his personality, and that allows… has allowed the programme to continue to this day nearly 50 years later.

Luke: OK, so this is another important thing about Dr Who, is that you have to know that… How many actors have played him now, actually?

Lee: Erm, well we’re now on number 10 and number 11 starts filming next month.

Luke: OK, erm, the interesting thing about Dr Who is that when Dr Who dies, he doesn’t die. He doesn’t die, instead he changes into a new form, so he becomes a new person, but it’s still Dr Who but he becomes a new person, and it’s like a really important event when Dr Who. It’s… to be honest it’s a way for them to change the actor, right? But in the show, Dr Who… one Dr Who dies and he changes into a new Dr Who, and it’s always like a really big event for the show, right? Erm, so it’s really just a way for them to continue the show. It’s a bit like James Bond in that sense.

Lee: Hmm, but I think it’s more believable than James Bond because its not supposed to be exactly the same character. So each Doctor, well each actor has been allowed to have his own, his own way of playing the part.

Luke: So, his own personality. So every time it’s like a new, different kind of Doctor with a different personality.

Lee: Even though it’s the same, we know it’s the same character behind it, but it’s like a new person to get used to and that keeps the show fresh and it’s kept it going all this time.

Luke: OK, so there have been 10 Doctors, and the 11th Doctor is coming very soon. Who do you think is the nation’s favourite Dr Who so far?

Lee: Well, for many years, everybody would have said immediately, Tom Baker, an actor who played the part from 1974 to 1981.

Luke: Tom Baker actually, err, the Tom Baker Dr Who is probably the most famous one until the most recent one. And he’s famous for having a long scarf, and he was in The Simpsons. He was in the American comedy show The Simpsons.

Lee: He was also in Family Guy …

Luke: He’s in Family Guy as well

Lee: Until Dr Who, because Dr Who was off the air, it stopped being made in 1989 until 2005 when it came back. And until 2005, everybody would have said Tom Baker was the Doctor, but as you’ve said in 2006 the current Doctor David Tenant has taken the programme to new heights of success that it never ever had in it’s original format.

Luke: So Dr Who, even before, erm, the latest Doctor, Dr Who was really really big and really successful, but it’s become even more successful with this new Doctor played by David Tenant, who’s like a great actor, Shakespearian actor

Lee; Yeah, he’s just done Hamlet, and they’re going to be filming Hamlet for television

Luke: It’s a great thing. Because David Tenant is so popular as Dr Who, now he’s playing Hamlet, it’s going to be shown on TV, millions of people in the UK are going to watch Hamlet, which is written by Shakespeare, so it’s a really good way of

Lee: And that kind of fits in with the original, the kind of format of Dr Who in that, because he’s able to go back in the past and meet people like Shakespeare and Agatha Christie, it inspires people to go out and learn more about… you know… the original brief of the show was that it had to go to the future and then the past. So not only would it educate the viewers in a very 1960s BBC way, but it would also entertain, and it would inspire people to go and learn about things

Luke: That’s what the BBC was all about. It was to educate, to entertain and to inform, right? Ok, actually I think I need to clarify just a little bit more about Dr Who just to make sure everybody understands who he is. Dr Who is a Timelord, and that means he’s a kind of alien. He’s not a human, he’s from another planet, but he came to Earth because he, he loves humans, right?

Lee: Yeah, but he doesn’t live on earth, he’s always… just Earth happens to be convenient because that’s where they can film on the cheap

Luke: So, he doesn’t live on earth, but he comes to earth quite a lot

Lee: but he can go anywhere, in time or space. But we have to remember that The Doctor, ok he’s the main character, but what really really made the programme successful and which we cannot not talk about are The Daleks.

Luke: Right, ok, so we’ve talked about, err, Dr Who’s spaceship, his companions, err K9, but another very important thing is to know the enemies that Dr Who has, and you just mentioned The Daleks, right? So who are Dr Who’s enemies? There’s probably, like, three maybe four most popular, most famous enemies

Lee: Well, The Daleks are, if you, again it’s like the word Tardis, if you say to somebody who’s never seen Dr Who in their life, they’ll know, if you say Dalek, they will know what you mean and may even do an impression of one by talking like this

Luke: Exterminate! Exterminate!

Lee: Exactly! Exterminate. So, I mean, Dr Who’s first story in 1963 was a bit of a dull… and it was set in caveman times. It’s very much introducing the characters. It was four weeks later, the introduction of these things called The Daleks, which just literally took the public imagination by storm. You can’t work out why. If you see them they look like a pepper-pot walking around. Maybe it’s the voice. There’s been lots of theories of why people just, why they’re so important to people, but whether they’re reseblent [reminiscent] of Nazis, because you remember the war had finished just 20 years before, you know. There’s just something about a Dalek, and again it’s just a proper cultural icon. So much so that in 1996 there was a survey to find out icons of British culture the public wanted put on stamps, and the first class stamp was The Dalek.

Luke: So there was a survey, and the British public voted The Dalek as the number 1 icon to put on a stamp! That’s even before the Queen, so they didn’t want the Queen’s head, they wanted a Dalek on there. So, just again to clarify a Dalek is like a robot…

Lee: It’s a robot but it’s got a creature inside it controlling it that hates anything … (laughter) …if you see them, it’s like “What is it?”, but there’s something about them. It’s a creature inside that controls them, and this creature wants to kill anything that is not like yourself [itself]. Now, I have to stress, the programme, although it sounds violent again is for a family audience, so y’know, the kids were watching, with their parents and although they were scary, it was a safe kind of fear because you could hide in Mum and Dad’s arms, you know, or hide behind the sofa, which is very much again the tradition of the…

Luke: These are other important things about Dr Who, is that it’s a family show, so so, erm, most people in the UK grew up as children watching Dr Who on a Saturday night. I watched it with my family…

Lee: I watched it with my Mum, my Mum watched it with her Mum, you know…

Luke: Everybody knows it, it’s like something really important about British culture. Erm, one of the things that everybody says about Dr Who is that because it’s quite scary, erm, you end up watching it from behind the sofa. So you can’t just sit in front of the TV and watch it. You have to hide behind the sofa, and sort of like, y’know, look over the top of the sofa to watch it because it’s so scary.

Lee: Now, you see, you’re lucky because when I was a child, our sofa was pushed against the wall. So I had to hide behind a cushion.

Luke: So you couldn’t hide behind the sofa.

Lee: Which is very very scary…

Luke: But that’s another expression, it’s another bit of erm, vocabulary that everybody knows now ‘to hide behind the sofa’, because of Dr Who. OK, so we’ve talked about The Daleks… now another thing about Dr Who is that it’s kind of funny, isn’t it?

Lee: Mmmm, it’s got a very British dry sense of humour, and partly because the programme has never had much money spent on it, so… rather than have lots of special effects you have to have a very good script that’s sharp, that’s funny. The Doctor is a character who never carries a weapon. He uses words, he uses his brains, he uses his intellect to get out of situations, so… and it has an, it it has a kind of humour that’s very British, but also, as you say very funny, you know, so…

Luke: I…

Lee: It doesn’t take itself too seriously

Luke: It’s not a serious show. It’s very much a kind of camp, funny kind of show. And also, one of the…

Lee: …and scary and exciting

Luke: That’s right, it manages to mix, like, comedy and erm, like, satire and fashion or something, and serious science fiction as well. It’s just great. Erm, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, err, one of the funny things about Dr Who is, like, the special effects.

Lee: Mmm, they were. In the old series, which as I said started in 1963, ended in 1989… famously, Dr Who never had any money, which means that there was no money for special effects, but you have to remember, the news series is different. It’s got amazing spe… award winning special effects. But you have to remember that the BBC as an institution in the 1960s and the 1970s was at the cutting edge, was at the front of this new technology, and all the stuff you see with green screen now is because of the stuff the BBC were doing with Dr Who in 1969 when colour television had just been invented, and you see that early experiments in yellow screen it was then, but you know this is why we have these special effects now.

Luke: So Dr Who innovated a lot of special effects.

Lee: Exactly. People like Ridley Scott was one of the designers…

Luke: Ridley Scott is now a famous director who’s directed films like Gladiator, but, and Ridley Scott worked on Doctor Who in the 60s. But I remember when I was younger when I watched Doctor Who on TV in the 80s, the special effects were quite funny because usually the monster was, a kind of man in a suit. It was basically a man in a suit. You know? In a bit… in a similar way to, in Japan, the way Godzilla was so popular. Godzilla when you watch the original movie, it’s obviously a man in a rubber suit.

Lee: Well I think the thing about 80s Doctor Who is, it’s very 80s. You know, 70s Doctor Who, 60s Doctor Who is, and to a certain extent it’s all very scary but there’s something about 80s Doctor Who which just looks over lit, the colours are really garish, and it’s just very 80s. Very much a product of its time. And maybe in a way that 60s and 70s Doctor Who was very much ahead of its time.

Luke: Ok, so Now though, Dr Who is very popular, more popular than it was before.

Lee: More popular than it’s ever been before. It’s the top rated drama on the BBC, it gets the highest ratings for a drama. The audience appreciation figures, which are a rating of how much the audience actually enjoys it are always in the lower 90% which for a drama which is very popular which is unheard of, umm. It’s always in the press because remember the newspapers have a 50 year history to draw back on and public interest in Dr Who at the moment has never ever been higher and now with David Tenant, the most, arguably the most popular Doctor ever, about to change at Christmas and New Year, then the future once again looks…

Luke: Great. So basically, umm, the important thing about Dr Who, if you’re a learner of English right, is it important to know about Dr Who? Why is it important for learners of English to know about something like Dr Who?

Lee: I wouldn’t say it was important but I would say it offers a very good insight into British culture, the British view of things, the British sense of humour, and also it’s just a great way to pass 50 minutes just lapping up British culture.

Luke: It’s just a great show, it’s very fun, very entertaining.

Lee: It’s very easy to watch. You don’t have to know everything about it. Each week there’s somewhere new, you know, so

Luke: It’s one of those things I guess, that … if a learner of English listens to two English people, often they don’t understand it because often the English people will talk about things that the learner of English doesn’t understand, and one of those things might be Dr Who. It’s kind of something that everybody knows about, something that people talk about quite a lot. For example, like, mentioning the Tardis or The Daleks

Lee: I think there was a great interview with, erm, when the Queen’s golden jubilee about 5 years ago, 6 years ??. there’s an interview with Prince Andrew and he said he had really happy memories of watching Dr Who with his Mum and Dad in the early 70s.

Luke: So even the royal family watch Dr Who

Lee: David Beckham gets the box sets for Christmas, delivered to his house. Everybody watches it.

Luke: OK, so there you go. Everybody is a fan of Dr Who. Is it possible to watch Dr Who in other countries?

Lee: Yes, it’s the BBC’s biggest export in terms of where it’s sold to, and it’s currently available in 42 different countries, you know. It has a regular audience of 165,000,000 viewers, so… everywhere from Saudi Arabia… it’s the number 1 export show in South Korea, so…

Luke: Really? So, a lot of South Korean people…

Lee: It even beats CSI

Luke: Even more popular than CSI? …in South Korea. So if you’re from South Korea and you’re listening to this, then send me a message if you’ve seen Dr Who, tell me what you think of it. Now, I think that they did show Dr Who in Japan, but I heard that nobody understood it at all. They didn’t get it, and erm, I think…

Lee: But they did, to be fair, they did show this back in the 1980s when they showed the last 3 years of the show and, quite frankly, unless you were a fan of Dr Who it probably would have been the weirdest thing that definitely may even have got a cult audience, but not a…

Luke: I think the late 80s Dr Who was probably the worst Dr Who. It’s terrible, right?

Lee: That’s a bone of argument I have to say

Luke: For me, after Peter Davidson, it wasn’t very interesting. I didn’t like it myself. I stopped watching it at that point.

Lee: Anyway, shall we end on a positive note?

Luke: Yeah. Umm, ahh, just a thing about in Japan. They even changed the name of Dr Who, they put it into katakana, that’s Japanese characters. And in Japan everybody knows Dr Who as Do-ku-ta-fhooo. Dokuta-fhuuu, which is kind of funny. Ok, so, right, are you looking forward to the new Doctor?

Lee: Yes, again, you know, the, having been a fan of Dr Who since I was 5 years old, errm… I’m still very young… ermm, I errr,… I love it when he changes. It’s so exciting, you never know what’s going to happen

Luke: Do you think this new guy is going to be a good Doctor?

Lee: I’m sure… because, they guy who’s now in charge of the show is one of the best writers of the last couple of years, so I’m sure it’s in very safe hands, and you know, I think it’s going to be great.

Luke: OK, great, so, erm… If you’re interested in Dr Who you can buy the box set, the DVDs on Amazon. You could probably watch some Dr Who clips on YouTube

Lee: Yeah, for real…

Luke: Erm, if you’re interested, you can watch it. But otherwise, just umm, errr I don’t know what I’m going to say now! I hope you enjoyed that conversation anyway. Thank you very much Lee.

Lee: Bye, thank you

Luke: Oh oh, one more thing. Why do you know so much about Dr Who?
Lee: As I said, because I’ve loved it since I was 5 years old, and erm, for me it’s just, I don’t know, I have a really strong emotional attachment to Dr Who, you know, he was always there… because he was such a constant character in my childhood and even in my adulthood.
Luke: You’re also an expert, aren’t you, on Dr Who
Lee: Yeah, but I have my limits… My house is not full of toy daleks of every description
Luke: Just a few… because you’re not a total geek or anything
Lee: No, I’m not. I haven’t got Dalek pajamas or… which are available!
Luke: If you’re wondering what to buy Lee for his birthday or Christmas
Lee: Dalek underpants or pajamas please
Luke: Dalek underpants or pajamas. I think they’re available on the internet
Lee: Marks and Spencer!
Luke: or Marks and Spencer, do they do them? Right, well I think on that note, err, I’ll end the conversation. Thanks very much Lee.
Lee: Thank you very much
Luke: OK

A picture of the 11 Doctors so far:

The current Dr Who, with his female companion Rose, in front of The Tardis:

The Daleks – EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! etc.

Lee, in front of The Tardis:

Lee, being exterminated by a Dalek:

An interview with Matt Smith who will be the next Doctor Who, next year:

Language Analysis

The following language analysis was written by Richard Gallen, a fellow teacher at The London School of English. Richard has written analysis of part of the interview between me and Lee. Use this in order to get a detailed understanding of some of the useful language used in the interview. If you a teacher, you may be interested in using this language analysis as a way of adapting the podcast for teaching in the classroom. Thanks to Richard Gallen.

Lee and Luke explain Doctor Who – language for explaining and describing

Luke: Right, if you imagine somebody who’s never heard of Dr Who before, right, how can you explain who he really is. So, so, if, what are the most important things that you should know about Dr Who if you’ve never heard of him before, basically.

Lee: Well, Dr Who is, err, a TV show that it’s main character, a character called The Doctor, who is in fact an alien, has a machine that can travel through time and space, which means that he is able to go anywhere in any planet, any point in the future, the past, whenever.

Luke: Erm, what’s the name of that machine?

Lee: It’s called The Tardis.

Luke : And can you just describe The Tardis? That’s like his spaceship, yeah? Can you describe The Tardis for us? Because in Britain here, everybody knows The Tardis, like, almost everybody knows it. It’s very familiar to us. It’s almost like an icon of British culture. But what is The Tardis? What does it look like?

Lee: Well, The Tardis looks like a 1960s police box, and in the days before mobile telephones and actually people having telephones in their houses, these blue police boxes were like an old phone box, and they also had a double function in that if a criminal caught a policeman [if a policeman caught a criminal] they would be locked up inside this police box, and they also had a phone, so they were a very common object in 1960s Britain, early 1960s Britain when Dr Who started.

Extra information clauses

Describing a film or book can be a little difficult. It’s quite hard to keep people interested. That’s why when we introduce a character we sometimes say something interesting or exciting about them

a character called The Doctor, who is in fact an alien

..then there’s Princess Leia who is fact Luke’s sister

In 1988 she met this man called Greenlee, who was in fact the top CIA agent in Bolivia at the time.

In the examples above ‘who’ refers to the noun before it (The Doctor/Princess Leia/ this man called Greenlee). In the example below ‘which means that’ doen’t only refer to the noun before, it refers to the whole clause before:

It’s a machine that can travel through time and space, which means that he is able to go anywhere in any planet, any point in the future, the past, whenever

The most common verb after ‘which’ in extra information clauses is ‘means’ .It often says something about the result of an event

I slept through my alarm clock which meant that I had to run like crazy for the train

Gilardino scored a goal very late in the match which meant that Italy qualified for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

In that..

When Lee was describing police boxes in England he said:

they had a double function in that if a policeman caught a criminal they would be locked up inside this police box

we use ‘in that’ when we think we could be more precise about something we’ve just said :  ‘in that’+example

He was quite reserved in many ways but he was also very sociable in that he liked entertaining,

It’s already old news (in that it was announced 6 hours ago…) but President Obama has been awarded the Nobel peace prize

The most common adjectives that come just before ‘in that’ are:

unique / unlucky / unusual/ fortunate

UNICEF is unique in that they are in countries, before, during and after emergency situations and humanitarian crises

Gordon Brown was unlucky, in that he became PM when we were on the edge of a disaster

She was fortunate, in that she had so much money she didn’t need to work

Like

‘Like’ is very common when we describe:

And can you just describe The TARDIS? That’s like his spaceship, yeah?

Luke is trying to explain what the TARDIS is…. But he can’t find exactly the right words. This is very common in conversation and when we describe things because it’s difficult to be precise all the time

As the examples below show, sometimes we are imprecise because we want to exaggerate. ‘Like’ is very common to introduce an exaggeration:

It’s [almost] like….. an icon of British culture

Because in Britain here, everybody knows The TARDIS, like, almost everybody knows it

Some other examples:

..and it was so good, it was like, one the best meals I ever had.

..and for a few months he was like, crazy about me, he was calling me and sending me flowers

Notice how we pause just after ‘like’ when we use it in this way

Other uses of  ‘like’

We use ‘like’ in questions to ask for a description:

But what is The TARDIS? What does it look like?

‘Like’ also means similar to:

These blue police boxes were like an old phone box

When ‘like’ means ‘similar to’ we use adverbs to make the comparison softer or stronger

a bit like /rather like /  (to soften)

just like /exactly / a lot like (to strengthen)

Horse surfing is a lot like surfing, just with horses

The currents in the sea were really strong and, for a minute, it is was almost like a huge monster was sucking me under

The following ‘sense’ verbs are common before ‘like’ when we use it in this way.

feel/ taste/ sound/ look/ smell

It felt like I had been waiting for hours but it was in fact only 20 minutes

He smelt like he hadn’t had a shower for weeks

She looks like she’s been crying

Some vocabulary and a listening transcript for the argument sketch are provided below. Learn English vocabulary (phrasal verbs, natural expressions, idioms, commonly used British English) and grammar (hopefully not boring) by listening to this podcast. Practise listening by playing the podcast on your iPod or computer. Develop awareness of pronunciation by repeating what you hear and recording yourself. Listening regularly is vital for the development of your English – so listen to Luke’s English Podcast, enjoy yourself and have fun!

In this podcast:

• Some news from me – Why haven’t I uploaded a podcast for a while? I’ve been a bit busy… (some vocabulary is defined below)
• Listen to a comedy sketch about two people having an argument (transcript below)

Here is some vocabulary from the ‘news’ section of the podcast:

“I’m in a bit of a rush” - in a rush means in a hurry. I’ve got lots of things to do, and not much time to do them, so I’m doing everything quickly. I’m in a bit of a rush.

“My little handheld mp3 recorder” - handheld is an adjective to describe something you hold in your hand. E.g. a handheld video camera, a handheld microphone, a handheld device

“I haven’t uploaded a podcast recently” - upload is a verb which means to put a file (a photo, video, music file) onto a website from your computer.

“My little egotistical moment” - egotistical is an adjective which means self-centred, selfish, vain, narcissistic

“Maybe it’s a little self indulgent” - self indulgent is an adjective which means you excessively do things which only please yourself. You indulge in your own desires and interests

“I’m just going to ramble” - to ramble is a verb which means you talk and talk without a particular plan or direction. “Luke just keeps rambling on and on about his podcast, it’s really boring” etc.

“Vocab which comes up will be defined” - vocab means ‘vocabulary’, and comes up is a phrasal verb which means ‘arise’, ‘happen’, ‘be mentioned’. You can use ‘come up’ in many situations, e.g. “An issue about the website came up yesterday in the meeting” – an issue was raised by someone. “A few questions about the IELTS exam came up during the lesson” – during the lesson, some people asked questions about the IELTS exam (and then everyone agreed they should listen to Luke’s English Podcast for good practice)

“It makes it difficult for you to navigate the page” - to navigate is a verb which means to move through something, to find your way through something. You can navigate a ship or a plane too.

“If you’re using the scroll bar on the side of the page to move up and down” - to scrollis a verb which means to move a computer page up, down, left or right. The scroll bar is the tool on the right or bottom of the page which you use to do this.

“Don’t use your cursor to grab the scroll bar” - the cursor is the arrow on screen which you control with your mouse.

“RSS feed” – this is an internet term which stands for Really Simple Syndication. Basically, it’s a way to publish recently updated content on a website. E.g. when I upload a new episode of the podcast, iTunes uses the RSS feed for my site to access the new podcast. Here’s the location of the RSS feed for Luke’s English Podcast: feed://teacherluke.podomatic.com/rss2.xml

“If you’re struggling to find content on the page – use iTunes” - to struggle is a verb which means ‘to have difficulty’

“Your subconscious is where English should go” - subconscious is a noun and an adjective. There are two parts of your mind – the conscious (the thoughts you are aware of – like a voice in your head) and the subconscious/unconscious (the thoughts in ‘the back of your head’ which you are not aware of, but which are still very important for making decisions, having opinions etc). For more information have a look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subconscious

“A stand-up comedian” – this is a comedian with a microphone who stands up in front of an audience and makes them laugh just by talking to them. Like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z5DMB-b900

“Dr Who is a household name. Everybody knows him” - a household name is something that everybody knows. The origin of this expression is products which everyone has in their house, so everybody knows them. E.g. Coca-Cola, Corn Flakes, etc. We also say that people can be a household name, if everyone (adults and children) knows who they are

“I bought some graphic novels” - graphic novels means comic books for adults. In Japan comic books are called ‘manga’.

“I’m keeping my fingers crossed” - to keep your fingers crossed means to cross your fingers for good luck (see photo below). E.g. “I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you”

“I think The Beatles are overrated” - overrated is an adjective which means ‘it isn’t as good as everyone says’. E.g. “I think U2 are overrated – they’re really popular and successful, but I think their music is boring”

Monty Python’s Flying Circus – The Argument Sketch (Transcript)

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?
Other Man: (pause) I've told you once.
Man:  No you haven't!
Other Man: Yes I have.
M: When?
O: Just now.
M: No you didn't!
O: Yes I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I did!
M: You didn't!
O: I'm telling you, I did!
M: You didn't!
O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
M: Ah!  (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
O: Just the five minutes.  Thank you.
O: Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not!
O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh no you didn't!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: No you DIDN'T!
O: Oh yes I did!
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
(pause)
M: It's just contradiction!
O: No it isn't!
M: It IS!
O: It is NOT!
M: You just contradicted me!
O: No I didn't!
M: You DID!
O: No no no!
M: You did just then!
O: Nonsense!
M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
   (pause)
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!
   (pause)
M: I came here for a good argument!
O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
O: Well!  it CAN be!
M: No it can't!
M: An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a
   proposition.
O: No it isn't!
M: Yes it is!  'tisn't just contradiction.
O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!
O: Yes it is!
M: No it ISN'T!  Argument is an intellectual process.  Contradiction is just
   the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
O: It is NOT!
M: It is!
O: Not at all!
M: It is!
The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.
O: Thank you, that's it.
M: (stunned) What?
O: That's it.  Good morning.
M: But I was just getting interested!
O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!!
O: I'm afraid it was.
M: (leading on)  No it wasn't.....
O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
M: WHAT??
O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five
   minutes.
M: But that was never five minutes just now!
   Oh Come on!
   Oh this is...
   This is ridiculous!
O: I told you...
   I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
M: Oh all right.  (takes out his wallet and pays again.)  There you are.
O: Thank you.
M: (clears throat) Well...
O: Well WHAT?
M: That was never five minutes just now.
O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Well I just paid!
O: No you didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I DID!!!
O: YOU didn't!
M: I-dbct-fd-tq! I don't want to argue about it!
O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
M: Ah hah!  Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing???  Ah HAAAAAAHHH!
   Gotcha!
O: No you haven't!
M: Yes I have!
   If you're arguing, I must have paid.
O: Not necessarily.
   I could be arguing in my spare time. 

You can buy Monty Python CDs and DVDs on Amazon.com 

Also check Amazon.com for "Low Moon" by Jason

Fingers crossed:



Don't forget: Banned Practice (the school band) LIVE at THE HOP POLES
King Street, Hammersmith, London
December 11th 2009!

Part 2 of the strange story from the last episode. Use this podcast to improve your listening, reading, vocabulary and pronunciation. You should listen to it after listening to the previous episode “Mystery Story / Narrative Tenses”. email me at luketeacher@hotmail.com. Find me on Facebook and Twitter too.

This episode of the podcast is continues the story of the last episode. Find out the answers to the mystery of the strange Doctor.

This podcast includes:

• Lots of very descriptive language – learn how to describe people, places and feelings
• Complex sentences and examples of effective use of narrative tenses
• Clear pronunciation in a couple of slightly different accents – raise your awareness of connected speech and intonation
• Some amusing cultural information about London’s heritage – learn more about the culture of the language

How to use this podcast to improve your English:

I recommend that first, you listen to the podcast and just follow the story. Second, listen to pick up language – use the tapescript if you like. Third, pronunciation – use the script to copy sentences from the story. Fourth, record yourself telling the story, and try to make it sound really interesting, and alive and funny. Listen to yourself and do it again, focussing on the weak points from the first time. You will improve more quickly, and develop an instinct for the structure of the language, which helps you make quick decisions about what is right and wrong in English. There is no other way to do it: exposure to natural English is very important in learning the language.

So, now! Enjoy the story…

The Man & The Moon, part 2…

When I arrived home that night, I immediately wrote everything that had happened into my diary.
“I could make a great podcast out of this”, I thought to myself…

The next day I told my friend what had happened.

“I know just the person who can help you!” he said, “There’s a man who lives in Baker Street, in the centre of London”, he said.

“Yes, I know where Baker Street is – it’s quite a famous street y’know”

“Yes! Anyway, this man is the best detective in London! He’s the most brilliant mind there is. The police have to use him to solve all their crimes, and some say that even the Queen asks him for help when she has lost her TV remote control down the back of the sofa! You should go and visit him. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you.”

I took the address and immediately went to Baker Street on the underground. I took the Picadilly Line from Hammersmith, and changed at Green Park station, but the Jubille line was closed, so I had to get back on the Picadilly Line and then change at Leicester Square onto the Northern Line, but that was delayed due to engineering works and a signal failure at Waterloo station. But finally, after an hour an a half on the underground, I arrived at Baker Street. I found the address: Flat number 21b and knocked on the door. An elderly woman answered.

“Yes?” she said.

“Umm, hello, I’m here to get some help. A friend told me to come”

“Alright, come in then.”

We walked through into the hallway. I could smell pipe tobacco, and what sounded like a cat being murdered in the next room. Then I realised it was a violin being played, very badly.

The woman knocked on the door of the front room, and the violin stopped playing.

“There’s a man here to see you” “Yes, yes, I know” said a loud, commanding voice from inside the room. “Show him in Mrs Hudson, thank you”

Mrs Hudson stepped aside, and I walked into the room.

I immediately felt nervous and awkward. There, standing at the fireplace was a very unique looking man. He was tall and thin, and old. I’m not sure how old he was exactly. His hair was going grey, and his skin was wrinkled, but his eyes were bright and youthful. He could have been as old as 80, but he had the spirit of a much younger man.

He was wearing a brown suit, with a waistcoat, and long leather winter boots. In his hand, he was holding a Stradivarius violin, of very fine quality. On the mantelpiece next to him was a smoking pipe.

“Umm, my friend Smith recommended you. He said that you would be able to assist me” I said.

“Smith? Hmmm?” said the man. “And…?”

“Oh, and, well, the thing is, I need your help… it’s…”

“Well, what do you think Watson?” Said the man, quickly, and only then did I realise that there was a third person in the room. To my right, in a dark leather armchair, there was a red faced man, probably about 65 years old. He had a large brownish red moustache which covered his top lip. In his hand was a large glass of Brandy, and in his other hand, a cigarette. He seemed very comfortable, as if he had just woken up from a lovely sleep by the fire”

“Huh…? Oh, hello! How do you do?” he said, smiling at me and yawning.

“What do you think Watson?” Snapped the man with the violin.

“Oh, err… a student? Perhaps a waiter… erm… ah! An unemployed librarian!”

“No no no! Watson. Completely wrong! Don’t overcomplicate matters! Now, let me try…”

I stood there, feeling confused. The tall man looked at me. “Your name is Thompson, am I right?”

“Well, how on earth did you guess…?”

“Not a guess Mr Thompson… Not a guess… Allow me to demonstrate something for you, if I may”

I stood in silence. I was in the presence of a great mind, I could understand that now.

“Let me see…”

He looked me up and down for a second.

“I would say that you are an English teacher… of no more than 10 years experience, but no less than 5. Let’s say 8 and a half years.”

I was gobsmacked.

“You worked in the far east, didn’t you?” “In Japan?”

“yes! Yes I did!”

“Kanagawa prefecture?”

“Oh my god, yes!”

“Now, I suppose something happened to you, near the river, which you don’t understand, and you need answers, so your friend told you to come and see me so I could sort it all out for you, is that right?”
“Oh – My – GOD! How did you know…? It must be magic, or … a trick!”

“Alright, I’ll tell you” he said, with a bored look on his face.

“Using simple empirical methods of observation and deduction, the truth will almost always reveal itself to you as the most reasonable answer. You just look at the evidence, and think logically. Usually, the simple answer is the best.”

“Would you like a cup of tea? He might take a while” It was Mrs Hudson.

“Oh, yes please” “two sugars”…

The man continued… “One simple look at your hands revealed your occupation. Your nails are badly chewed and damaged. This must be due to stress. A common problem for any teacher, but especially one that has to deal with demanding students from different countries who all want to know about the difference between all the past perfect continuous passive conditional verb tenses, and adjectival noun phrases and reduced non defining relative participle clauses and such matters.” I looked at my fingers, he was right. The nails were a terrible mess… “I saw also that your hands are very dirty with blue and red ink. This must be from using whiteboard marker pens. You write on the board, and in your haste you make a mistake, and then quickly rub it off with your hand, hoping that no-one notices…”

“Umm, yes, that’s true.”

“That’s the evidence which told me that you must be an English teacher.”

“Wow!” I said

“Yes, that and the fact that you’re holding a copy of New Headway Upper Intermediate Teacher’s Book by Liz and John Soars, which kind of gave it away… oh, and Watson googled you before you arrived, but anyway… On your face I noticed wrinkles – around your mouth and eyes. This is from smiling all the time, to keep your students happy, is it not?”

“Yep. Well done. Right again”, I said, sipping my tea, getting a little impatient. “Umm, sorry but could you hurry up a bit? It’s just that this is going to be a really long podcast, and I don’t want anyone to stop listening…”

“Yes yes! I counted the wrinkles on your face, and estimated that since graduating from university, you have been smiling at students for exactly 8.5 years. Simple: Count the wrinkles on the face, divide by 5 (the average teaching hours per day) and the result: 8.5 years.”

“Fair enough” I said.

“And when you entered the room, you bowed slightly. This must be body language which you picked up while living in Japan.”

“Yep. Well done… very good”

I was getting annoyed and impatient. I gulped down my sugary tea.

“OK, you’ve convinced me, you’re a brilliant detective. Now, will you help me out please, Mr…?”

“It’s Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, and this is my companion, Dr Watson”

“Wow, it really is Sherlock Holmes”, I thought. “I’ve read so much about him, but I never thought he was real! And his faithful companion Dr Watson! Fantastic!” I looked again at Watson. He was fast asleep in his chair.

“WAKE UP WATSON!” shouted Holmes, throwing a chess piece at him. It bounced off Watson’s head, and he woke up suddenly, and smiled at me sleepily. “So, how can we help you then Mr Simpson?”

“It’s Thompson you fool!” Shouted Holmes quickly” “And we must hurry to the riverside in Hammersmith immediately! There’s another mystery to solve! Come Watson!”

“How did you know it was Hammersmith…?”
“Oh, never mind…” said Holmes.

The three of us jumped in a cab on Baker Street and drove to Hammersmith bridge. On the way there, I told Holmes about how I’d sat down by the river the night before, how it had been a full moon, how a green monster had nearly grabbed me, how I’d heard weird noises and seen a strange blue light and how I’d been saved by a mysterious man called The Doctor. When we arrived I took Holmes and Watson to the spot where everything had happened. A cold chill ran down my spine as I remembered it all again.

“This is where it happened Mr Holmes” I said.

“Excellent” Said Holmes, a magical light shining in his eyes. “Stand back! I shall investigate the area.”

“He always does this” Said Watson. “He’ll be busy for an hour or two I reckon.”

Holmes was bent over, studying the ground next to the river with a magnifying glass. Occasionally he stopped suddenly, and picked something up and placed it carefully in his pocket. He walked close to the water and looked in. He looked up at the sky and down at the river again. He sniffed the air with his big nose. He picked up a stone and dropped it into the water, and then went back to look at the steps where I had been sitting the night before.

Watson yawned, and said to me “There’s a pub over there, fancy a pint while Holmes does his investigation stuff?”

Watson pointed at a pub called The Black Lion. “Umm, alright. Yeah, why not!?” I replied.

“We’re just off for a pint in that pub” shouted Watson.

“Hmmm” said Holmes, as he studied some markings on the ground.

Watson and I sat in the pub next to the fire, and made small talk.

“So, you’re a doctor, are you?”

“Yes, that’s right”

“Hmm, that’s interesting…”

“Yeah, it’s alright, I suppose. Most of the time I just hang out with Holmes to be honest. Do a bit of writing. That sort of thing. It’s pretty boring really. I like a quiet life, you know?”

“Yeah, I suppose so. The man I met last night said he was a doctor. You don’t know who he is, do you?”

“A doctor? Doctor who?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say his name. He just said ‘you can call me The Doctor…’ and then he disappeared. It’s really annoying…”

ly: ‘book antiqua’, palatino;”>Just then Holmes burst into the room.

“Come with me Watson, we must walk up the river bank and investigate the mud near the sewage outlet for evidence!”

“Umm, do we have to? I mean, why don’t we just stay here in the pub, and you go and look in the mud near the sewage outlet? How about that?” said Watson, sipping another pint of beer and warming his feet by the fire.

“Oh Watson, you stay here then, if you must. Your love of the local Chiswick ale will be the end of you Thompson, what about you? Fancy getting up to your knees in mud??”

“Erm, I think I’ll stay here with Watson actually, if that’s all right.”

“Fine, stay here, both of you! I shall return within one hour.”

59 minutes and 59 seconds later, Holmes returned. His leather boots were covered in brown mud, and he had a grim look on his face. He suddenly looked much older, and tired. I was a little bit worried about him.

< /p>

We took a cab back to Baker Street and Holmes remained quiet and moody for the whole journey. I stared out of the window and dreamed about the present perfect continous passive tense. Watson fell asleep.

When we got in, Mrs Hudson brought us some cake and Watson opened the drinks cabinet. “Brandy anyone?” he said, pouring himself a large glass.

Holmes ignored him, and sat in his chair, smoking his pipe.

For what felt like 2 hours, Watson drank brandy and nodded off by the fire, while Holmes sat silently in the chair surrounded by clouds of his own smoke, his face tight with concentration. The sun went down, and Holmes stayed in the chair, and his pipe smoke stretched outwards across the room, running along the ground and wrapping itself around my legs like claws. The moon shone in through the window, and I began to fall asleep.

Suddenly Holmes jumped out of his chair, a young man again. The room seemed brighter.

“THOMPSON! I have solved your mystery!” Shouted Holmes, confidently!

“Wow, that was quick!” I said. I looked over at Watson. He was fast asleep.

Holmes proceeded to walk around the room, rubbing his hands and laughing to himself.

“So! What’s it all about??” I asked, impatiently.

“I have read about cases such as this before Thompson, and I have been very much looking forward to having the opportunity of working on one myself. And this Doctor of yours… well, I never thought I would be lucky enough to…”

“To what?? I asked… just tell me what’s going on, please! This is going to be such a long podcast, and I’m really worried that all my listeners will be really bored, and they’ll stop listening, and, there’s not enough pedagogical content, and…”

“ENOUGH!” Shouted Holmes. “I will explain everything. You would be wise to listen carefully. I have looked at the evidence, which has been presented to me. There wasn’t much, but there was enough. First, you told me that this happened near the river. Inspection of the riverbank revealed several things to me.”

“I discovered some vital clues. I found two green hairs, which must have come from the ‘monster’ which you talked about. I checked the hairs, and they perfectly match hairs which have been discovered near the Thames before. They are hairs from a lunaris goblarmunas – a moon goblin!”
“Yes, I already know that! What the hell is a Moon Goblin!”

“Oh, it’s a monster which lives in the water, and which comes out when there’s a full moon to eat people. They worship the moon, and some people say that they are aliens which once lived on the moon, but they escaped to earth millions of years ago when the moon lost its atmosphere.”

“Oh, right… wow, I never knew about that. How did they travel to the earth, through space”

“Oh, err, well, they’re actually robots”

“Robots, what do you mean?”

“Oh never mind, it’s too difficult to explain…Yep, it’s true, there’s loads of them in the Thames. They’re responsible for a lot of stuff actually. The Queen knows all about it, so does the Prime Minister…”

“They do?”
“Yeah. Anyway, when I investigated the mud up the river, I noticed that there were lots of goblin footprints. They’re very active. In fact, there’s many more of them than I first thought. I will have to tell her majesty all about it. She will want to know.”

“I’m sure she will… Anyway, what about this Doctor guy…”

“Oh yes, while you and Watson were having such a lovely time in the pub, I inspected the area near where you were sitting last night. I found some very interesting scratches on the ground. They were blue scratches. They must have been caused by something very heavy, blue in colour, and square in shape.”

“What, like a big blue box?” I said.

“Exactly Thompson! Exactly!” I estimate that it was similar in size to a telephone box. It must have been there for a moment, and then it moved away quickly.

“So you’re telling me there was a big blue telephone box there one minute, and then the next minute it was gone?”
“Precisely”

“I also found some footprints near where the box had been. Those must have been the footprints of your Doctor. The size of the feet match the description you gave me. I also found this lying on the ground, near where the blue telephone box had been”

He showed me a silver ticket. It was a concert ticket, made of an amazing shiny material. It said “Prince Michael Jackson II – Live in Concert – Wembley Arena September 16^th 2021”

“Oh my god! Prince Michael II? That’s Michael Jackson’s son! But, how is this possible!? How can the doctor have a ticket for a concert from the future?”
“Let me explain. Look at the evidence. The goblins from space, the blue ‘telephone box’, the strange sound, the blue flash of light, the man who called himself the doctor who appeared and disappeared out of nowhere, the thing he pointed at that goblin, the special knowledge he had about the moon goblins, the ticket from the future. It all means one thing.”

“What!? What does it mean?!” I demanded.

Holmes stared at me with dark eyes. Watson snored in the corner of the room.

“There is no other answer. The Doctor you told me about. Well, he must be a Timelord.”

“What? Is that your answer? What the hell is a Timelord?” I asked him.

Holmes stood up, and said.

“If you want to find out, then YOU’LL HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE NEXT EPISODE OF LUKE’S ENGLISH PODCAST!!!!”

I sighed with frustration.

“Don’t worry Thompson.” Said Holmes. “I know an expert on Timelords, and he will tell you everything he knows about The Doctor. Just wait for the next episode of the podcast, and you’ll learn everything.”

I left 21B Baker Street wishing I had never gone there in the first place. Holmes wasn’t quite the brilliant man I thought he was, but I was still determined to get to the bottom of this mystery. I had managed to get some answers: The Doctor was a Time Lord who travelled around through space and time in a blue telephone box. That explained the strange light, the sound, and how The Doctor appeared and disappeared so quickly. But who was he really, where had he come from and what on earth was going on?”

With the address of the Timelord expert in my hand, I jumped on a number 27 bus towards Hammersmith, desperately hoping to get some final answers to this mystery, and silently hoping that none of my listeners got really bored with this stupid Sherlock Holmes story and stopped listening and decided to unsubscribe from Luke’s English Podcast because it’s gone a bit strange, and where are the phrasal verbs and idiomatic expressions that he said he would teach us…? I decided that I had to end this mystery as soon as possible, and then I could go back to teaching useful expressions and pronunciation… But before that, I was determined to find out about Timelords, and The Doctor… I arrived at the address, and went inside to meet the Timelord expert who Holmes had recommended…

To be continued…

Sherlock Holmes:

Dr Watson:

This podcast is about narrative tenses (past simple, past continnous, past perfect – see details below). We use these tenses to sequence stories about the past. To master the use of these tenses you have to deal with their form, their use and thier pronunciation – both for listening and speaking. Use this podcast to help you deal with all of those things, and then start using narrative tenses fluently whenever you describe something. Make your descriptions more detailed and colourful!

Listen to the story, and notice the different verb forms being used. If you like you can try and remember the story and repeat it to yourself until you’re using all the tenses correctly. You can then transfer what you’ve learned and remembered from the story when you talk about something else.

The mystery story:
Last night I was walking home next to the river thames, when something strange happened to me. It was late at night and I’d had a long and difficult day at work. There was a large full moon in the sky and everything was quiet. I was tired and lonely and I’d just had a few pints of beer in my local pub, so I decided to stop by the riverside and look at the moon for a while. I sat on some steps very close to the water’s edge and looked up at the big yellow moon and wondered if it really was made of cheese. I felt very tired so I closed my eyes and after a few minutes, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the moon had moved behind a cloud and it was very dark and cold. The wind was blowing and an owl hooted in a tree above me. I rubbed my eyes and started to get up, when suddenly I heard a splash. I looked down at the water and saw something. Something terrible and frightening, and unlike anything I’d ever seen before. Something was coming out of the water and moving towards me. Something green and strange and ugly. It was a long green arm and it was stretching out from the water to grab my leg. I was so scared that I couldn’t move. I’d never been so scared in my whole life. The cold green hand was moving closer and closer when suddenly there was a blue flash and a strange noise from behind me. Someone jumped onto the stairs next to me. He was wearing strange clothes and he had a crazy look in his eyes. He shouted “Get Back!” and pointed something at the monster in the water. There was a bright flash and the monster hissed and disappeared.

I looked up at the man. He looked strange, but kind. “Don’t fall asleep by the river when there’s a full moon”, he said “The Moon Goblins will get you.” I’d never heard of moon goblins before. I didn’t know what to do. “Who… who are you?” I asked him. “You can call me… The Doctor.” He said. I was trying to think of something else to say when he turned around and said, “Watch the stars at night, and be careful of the full moon”. I was trying to understand what he meant, when there was another blue flash and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, he had gone.

I couldn’t believe what had happened. What on earth were Moon Goblins, and who was the mysterious Doctor? And why had he saved me? I was determined to find the answers to these strange questions. I stood up, looked at the moon and quickly walked home.

Narrative Tenses
Past simple tense
Form: the simple past form of the verb. E.g. “We met on holiday, we talked about art and music, we fell in love, I asked her to marry me and when she said yes I kissed her passionately on the lips.”
Use: To explain the main events of the story in sequence. We use ‘then’, ‘after that’, ‘first’ and ‘finally’ to link them up. E.g. “First I finished work, then I went to the pub, after that I had a few pints, then I sat down by the river and then I fell asleep, after that the moon moved, and then I woke up and then an owl hooted and after that I heard a splash and then a monster tried to grab my leg and after that the Doctor rescued me and then he disappeared, and finally I went home.
We can also use conjunctions to link up clauses with past simple verb forms. ‘When’ is probably the most common. E.g. “When I woke up, and owl hooted.” Or “An owl hooted when I woke up”.

Past continuous
Form: was/were + -ing E.g. “We were talking about my Swiss bank account when suddenly she pulled me close and kissed me again.”
Use: To describe longer or repeated actions. It’s often used to describe the general situation at the beginning of a story. E.g. “I was walking home when something strange happened.”
Also, we use it to sequence events when it is combined with the past simple. Past continuous is the long or repeated action which is interrupted by a short, quick past simple action. E.g. “The green hand was moving towards me when suddenly there was a blue flash and a man jumped onto the stairs next to me”.
We use ‘when’ or ‘while’ to link the actions in a sentence. E.g. “When I woke up, the wind was blowing. The wind was blowing when I woke up. While I was walking, something happened. Something happened while I was walking.”

Past Perfect
Form: had + past participle E.g. “When I arrived at the airport I realised that she had stolen my wallet and passport”.
Use: To express that an action happened before the main events of the story. E.g. “When I woke up, the moon had moved” [the moon moved, then I woke up], which is different to “The moon moved when I woke up” [I woke up, then the moon moved].
Sometimes it is used a bit like present perfect, but when everything is in the past. E.g. “I’ve never heard of moon goblins before” But for yesterday it would be “I had never heard of moon goblins.”

Pronunciation drills:

1. Andrew had done the test before, so he found it very easy.

2. I didn’t laugh at the joke because I had heard it before.

3. We left the restaurant when we had finished dinner.

4. When I found my wallet, I discovered that somebody had taken all the money from it.

Practice:
Here’s the transcript to the mystery story, but with some of the verbs ‘gapped’. Try to put them in the correct tense. Listen again to check.
The mystery story:
Last night I _________________ (walk) home next to the river thames, when something strange _________________ (happen) to me. It was late at night and I _________________ (have) a long and difficult day at work. There was a large full moon in the sky and everything was quiet. I was tired and lonely and I _________________ (just have) a few pints of beer in my local pub, so I decided to stop by the riverside and look at the moon for a while.

I _________________ (sit) on some steps very close to the water’s edge and looked up at the big yellow moon and wondered if it really was made of cheese. I felt very tired so I _________________ (close) my eyes and after a few minutes, I _________________ (fall) asleep. When I woke up, the moon _________________ (move) behind a cloud and it was very dark and cold. The wind _________________ (blow) and an owl _________________ (hoot) in a tree above me. I rubbed my eyes and started to get up, when suddenly I _________________ (hear) a splash. I _________________ (look) down at the water and saw something. Something terrible and frightening, and unlike anything I’d ever seen before. Something _________________ (come) out of the water and _________________ (move) towards me. Something green and strange and ugly. It was a long green arm and it _________________ (stretch) out from the water to grab my leg. I was so scared that I couldn’t move. I _________________ (never be) so scared in my whole life. The cold green hand _________________ (move) closer and closer when suddenly there was a blue flash and a strange noise from behind me. Someone _________________ (jump) onto the stairs next to me. He _________________ (wear) strange clothes and he had a crazy look in his eyes. He shouted “Get Back!” and _________________ (point) something at the monster in the water. There was a bright flash and the monster hissed and disappeared.

I looked up at the man. He looked strange, but kind. “Don’t fall asleep by the river when there’s a full moon”, he said “The Moon Goblins will get you.” I _________________ (never hear) of moon goblins before. I didn’t know what to do. “Who… who are you?” I asked him. “You can call me… The Doctor.” He said. I _________________ (try) to think of something else to say when he turned around and said, “Watch the stars at night, and be careful of the full moon”. I was trying to understand what he meant, when there was another blue flash and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, he _________________ (go).

I couldn’t believe what _________________(happen). What on earth were Moon Goblins, and who was the mysterious Doctor? And why had he saved me? I was determined to find the answers to these strange questions. I stood up, looked at the moon and quickly walked home.
Dr Who? and the Moon Goblin.

I talk to Chris from Ladbroke Grove about the British weather, and why he thinks foreigners should stop complaining about it!

Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for people who want to improve their English. Learn real english with this podcast. Natural expressions, phrasal verbs, idioms and more vocabulary. Good listening practice. Join the growing community of listeners around the world who use this podcast every day. Email me your comments: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Hello everyone, and thanks for listening to another episode of Luke’s English Podcast. This episode is longer than I expected. At the beginning of the episode I say that it is just a quick episode – but it’s actually 45 minutes long… Never mind! Again – you’re getting a bit extra for your money (which is quite a lot considering this is a free service).

So, I interviewed Chris, who is one of the lads I play football with on Wednesday afternoon (a ‘lad’ is an informal word for a young man). Chris is a fairly typical lad from Ladbroke Grove in North West London. Here are his views on the British weather, and the weather in other countries.

Listen to the interview – do you understand everything Chris says? What do you think of his opinions? I explain most of the English he uses. You can also read a transcript of the interview below. Enjoy!

Chris uses a swear word (a rude & offensive word) in the interview. The word ‘shit’ is a rude word, so be careful if you choose to use it… (I’m sure you know all about the swear words by now, don’t you?)

Luke: Hi Chris
Chris: Hi
Luke: So, err, what do you think of the weather today?
Chris: It’s so shit considering it’s summer.
Luke: Ah, right, so, erm, is it normally like this then, do you think?
Chris: Well, in Eng… in this country it’s very unpredictable, because sometimes, actually most of the time recently we’ve been getting summer in our… summer when we’re meant to have winter, and winter when we’re meant to have summer. So, you can’t tell about the weather in England.
Luke: Right, ok. So, what do you normally do when the weather’s like this then? Actually, before you answer that question, how would you describe the weather today?
Chris: Very very dull, to put it, to put it… in brief.
Luke: Ok, alright. And what do you do when the weather’s dull like this?
b: Err, well I still play a bit of football because there’s no rain, but most of the time… but I do all different things, so…
Luke: Just give me an example of one of those different things.
Chris: Err, relax. Sometimes I play football.
Luke: yeah
Chris: Sometimes I go to the cinema
Luke: Okay
Chris: All different things.
Luke: Alright, well, thanks very much Chris. Do you have anything else to say to my class of students? from… they’re from all over the world. Any comments?
Chris: If you want to learn decent English, come to me.
Luke: Ok, alright so you heard it here first. Where can they find you Chris?
Chris: Err, Ladbroke Grove.
Luke: Ladbroke Grove, ok. So what, they just go to Ladbroke Grove and ask for Chris do they?
Chris: Ladbroke Grove… Ladbroke Grove Sainsbury’s and I’ll meet them there.
Luke: OK, well thanks very much, cheers.
Luke: Chris has realised that he does have something interesting to say. Erm, so you’ve got something extra to tell everyone?
Chris: Yeah, just about the weather. I think that people complain too much about the weather over here. Especially… foreigners. The problem is… yeah? …that in all the other countries, like Spain and… Australia… They’re full of sand because they don’t get any rain. That’s why in England… They get… England looks so nice, it’s got loads of green, and it’s… it doesn’t look like a desert basically, because we get a certain amount of heat, and a certain amount of rain, to… for the, for the plants to grow, and for the heat to dry [die] down a bit.
Luke: Ok, so are you saying that all foreign countries are like deserts?
Chris: Most of them yeah. Some, some… Not most of them, but, the hot countries like Spain, and Arab countries and China and India. They’re all basically full of sand because they don’t know what rain means, and that’s not good for the plants, and that’s not good for them either, because… because, you know, they can’t ever play football because it’s too hot.
Luke: Ha ha ha! Ok, are you serious or are you joking Chris?
Chris: I’m serious but in a jokey way.

[It started raining, so we talked a little bit more]
Luke: OK Chris
Chris: See? A perfect example of, you don’t know what the weather’s going to be like in England. That’s why it’s so special, this country. One minute it’s sunny, the next minute it’s raining, like now.
Luke: But some people would say that that’s a bad thing. That it’s rain… that it rains a lot and that’s not good. You know, because when it rains you get wet and, you know, it’s not very healthy, not very good for you, if you get wet. So why is it good that it rains a lot? What’s so good about that?
Chris: It doesn’t rain a lot, it just rains at the normal time. People just don’t understand that it gets boring, erm… hot… if you have hot weather throughout the year. And, you know, what’s there to look forward to? You go out, you wake up every day. You go out. You know, you wake up to it’s “oh, it’s too hot today, it’s too hot today” every single day you know what the weather’s going to be like. Instead, in in, over here, we, we wake up, we don’t know what it’s going to be like and we look forward to it, we prepare for it.
Luke: Ok, so it makes your life interesting.
Chris: Yeah, it makes it, makes it interesting.
Luke: But do you really look forward to rain?
Chris: Rain, you need rain to cool you down.
Luke: Ok Chris: And you need the windy weather to cool you down. But, it it it, when you’re hot, when it’s hot weather, you know, you can’t. You can’t cool down.
Luke: OK
Chris: You can’t. You’re always, you’re always agitated. You always get, you always get, erm, I dunno [don't know].
Luke: Sort of… you get stressed because the heat is so… You know, when it’s so humid and hot you get stressed out and then when the rain comes everything cools down, you can relax and…
Chris: Yes, it’s less stressful, yeah.
Luke: Right.
Chris: And, you know, you look forward… Especially… And when it’s raining, you get to relax indoors. You get to relax indoors, watch a bit of TV, or do your own thing, whatever it is you do.
Luke: Yeah
Chris: But, I think people need to be more grateful of that over here. They complain too much.
Luke: Ah, ok. Alright, well thanks very much for all of your interesting comments Chris. I’m sure that all my students will be interested, err, to learn what English people really think…
Chris: And I hope they take it into account, what I just said about the weather.
Luke: Ok, thanks very much!
Chris: Ok, thank you, see you later…

That’s it! Listen to the podcast to hear me explain and talk about some of the things Chris said. What do you think? Send me an email with your thoughts. luketeacher@hotmail.com

Here’s a picture of Chris in the park. 

That’s it, bye bye bye bye bye bye bybye bye bye ye ebay ebay ebay ebay ebay

Lots of weather vocabulary and natural expressions to describe the weather. The weather is one of the most common topics of conversation. Imagine you’re doing business with someone from another country, and you have to make smalltalk. What can you possibly talk about? THE WEATHER OF COURSE! Learn some natural expressions to describe the weather and practise your listening at the same time.

Luke’s English Podcast is a free service for learners of English around the world. Use it to learn vocabulary, British English, grammar, phrasal verbs, idioms and all that kind of thing! Luke is a professional teacher with over 8 years of experience. He is also a workaholic who can’t stop teaching English for free, even when he’s on holiday. This podcast is all about the weather.

Hello everyone. I can’t write a transcript for this whole episode. It’s just too much work for me. I’m on holiday and I can’t spend the whole day writing at my computer! I need some time off! Anyway, it’s good practice for you to just listen without reading everything at the same time. Trust me – I’m an English teacher. If you always have to read and listen at the same time you will never develop proper listening skills, so please – just listen to the podcast and try to understand what I’m talking about – you do not need to understand every single word I say. Listen to the podcast 3 times. By the third time you will understand more, and you will have developed listening skills. If you have questions, please email me and I’ll do my best to answer them. The email address is: luketeacher@hotmail.com

Instead of a full transcript (which you shouldn’t rely on anyway) here are the items of weather vocab which I use and explain in this podcast. I’ve included explanations and examples for you. Aren’t I nice to you? I am, aren’t I? Aren’t I?! he he he…

Weather Vocabulary which I use in the podcast:

Rain (noun or verb) – “it’s raining” “There’s not as much rain in London as I expected”
light rain / heavy rain (noun) – “expect heavy rain over the next few days” “there might be some light rain later”
a shower (noun) – a short period of rain “Expect a few light showers during the afternoon”
a downpour (noun) – a period of really heavy rain – “There was a big downpour this morning – did you see it?”
it poured down (verb)- it rained really heavily – “It absolutely poured down last night!”
drizzle (noun or verb) – rain which is made of lots of small, light rain drops – “It’s drizzling outside”
it’s spitting (verb) – it is just beginning to rain, so there are a few little drops of rain coming down “It’s spitting outside – I think it’s going to start raining”
to get caught in the rain (verb phrase) – to get wet in a rain shower which you didn’t expect – “I had to go to the shopping centre because I got caught in the rain and I didn’t have an umbrella”

Wind (noun) – “The wind was blowing really loud last night”
windy (adjective) – “it’s really windy at this time of year, isn’t it?”
a breeze (noun) – a nice, soft wind – “The ocean breeze keeps you cool if you live near the sea” “There’s a lovely breeze blowing through the open window”
a storm (noun) – a period of really bad weather with lots of rain, wind and sometimes thunder and lightning – “Don’t go outside tonight, there’s going to be a big storm”
a gale (noun) – a strong wind storm – “it’s blowing a gale out there!”
a hurricane / typhoon (noun) – a severe storm with very strong winds – hurricanes happen in the western Atlantic ocean, typhoons happen in the western Pacific ocean – “there are lots of typhoons in the autumn in Japan”

Snow (noun and verb) “it’s snowing outside! Look look!!” “the snow is falling all around” “it doesn’t usually snow heavily at this time of year”
to settle (verb) – to land on the ground and stay there without melting – “25cm of snow settled on the ground overnight”
a blanket of snow (noun) – a covering of snow on the ground – “When I looked out of the window there was a blanket of snow covering everything!”

Cold (adjective) “It’s really cold isn’t it?”
chilly (adjective) – quite cold – “Ooh, it’s a bit chilly today isn’t it?”
freezing (adjective) – very cold – “it’s absolutely freezing today isn’t it?” “I was freezing cold last night”

Hot (adjective) “hot today, isn’t it?”
mild (adjective) – a little bit warm – “Mmm, it’s quite mild for this time of year, isn’t it?”
warm (adjective) – pleasantly hot, but not too hot – “it’s nice and warm in the sunshine today”
boiling (adjective) – really hot – “have you been outside? it’s absolutely boiling today! I’m sweating…”

Humid (adjective) – hot, with lots of moisture in the air – “it’s really humid and uncomfortable in Japan in August” – humidity (noun)
muggy (adjective) – humid – “it’s hot today, but it’s so muggy too…”
close (adjective) – humid – “it’s really close today, don’t you think?”
sticky (adjective) – humid and uncomfortable, your skin feels sweaty and your clothes ‘stick’ to you – “it’s really sticky and horrible today”
stuffy (adjective) – the air in the room is not fresh – “it’s really stuffy in here, let’s open the window shall we?”

Cloud (noun) – “look at all those dark clouds in the sky” – cloudy (adjective) – “it’s a bit cloudy today. Do you think it’s going to rain?”
overcast (adjective) – the sky is covered with a layer of cloud and you can’t see the sun or the sky – “it’s so overcast today – it’s depressing, isn’t it?”
fog (noun) foggy (adjective) – cloud which is close to the ground, so it is hard to see – “if you are driving, please be careful in the fog tonight” “it’s really foggy out there tonight, so be careful when you’re driving”
mist (noun) misty (adjective) – a light fog close to the ground, usually in the morning or at night – “London looks mysterious when it’s covered in mist in the mornings”
“There isn’t a cloud in the sky” – the sky is clear
“There are some patches of blue sky up there – I think it’s clearing up”
“By the afternoon we should have a lovely clear blue sky”

Sunshine (uncountable noun) “We had plenty of bright sunshine on holiday”
to catch the sun (verb) – to get a little bit sun tanned or burned – “wow, you’ve really caught the sun today. Look at you, you’re quite burned”

Other weather vocabulary:
hail (noun and verb) – frozen rain – “there was a big hail storm this afternoon, did you hear it? They were quite big hail stones”
sleet (noun and verb) – a combination of rain and snow – “I’m not going outside, it’s sleeting. It’s horrible!”
cosy (adjective) – warm and comfortable inside, when it is cold outside – “it’s so lovely and cosy here in bed with you. Let’s stay here all day.”
grey (adjective) – cloudy and overcast – “it’s so grey and miserable today”
miserable / depressing / grim (adjectives) – it makes you feel sad and unhappy – “the weather in January is so miserable/depressing/grim”
a draft (noun) – cold air which comes though the window or under the door – “can you feel that draft coming through the window? I need new windows!”
frost (noun) – a thin layer of ice which covers everything in the morning – “I had to spend 15 minutes scraping the frost off my car windows this morning”
a heatwave (noun) – a period of hotter weather – “the summer heatwave is going to continue for another week!”
a thunderstorm (noun) – a storm which involves thunder and lightning – “did you hear the thunderstorm last night – it woke me up at 4AM”
thunder (noun) – the noise which lightning makes – “did you hear the loud thunder last night?”
lightning (noun) – flashes of light caused by electricity jumping between clouds and the earth – “wow! Did you see that lightning!” “Don’t play golf in a thunderstorm – you might get struck by lightning”
mouldy (adjective) – when something (usually food) gets covered in mould, which is a kind of fungi which grows on rotting food – “you have to keep your clothes dry in rainy season, in order to stop mould growing. You can use silica gel to absorb the moisture”

That’s it folks!

Here are a couple of videos for your enjoyment.

This one is George Harrison’s (The Beatles) song Here Comes The Sun, which describes what it feels like when the spring comes and the winter ends in the UK

This video is an animation from the comedy movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Here’s a picture of the miserable weather in London today (September 15th):

Hello everyone. I’m really glad so many of you liked my Notting Hill Carnival video. I’m planning some longer ones which I will produce and upload soon. Before I do that, I hope you enjoy this one which is about being a good learner of English.

I was thinking about all the learners I have met, and what made some of them ‘good learners’. I realised that it was their attitude towards learning, and towards life in general, that affected how they learned the language. I thought it would be good if I wrote some statements that a good learner of English might say. You can just think about these statments. Can you relate to them? Are they true for you? Try repeating them to yourself. It will help you if you really believe them! It’s good for your attitude, and that’s good for your English.

Here are the statements I wrote, and which I read out in the podcast. Thanks a lot, and keep listening!

1. English is not just something I know, it’s something I can do. It’s no good if you can just learn words, and just understand what people say – it doesn’t stop there. English is not just something I know, it’s something I can do.

2. I love using new words that I’ve learned. New words to me are like golden coins which I collect and then use later. (cheesy!)

3. English is part of my personality. There is no separation between the English language, and me. We exist together. It’s not separate from me, it’s part of me. When I use English, it’s my language too.

4. I might not think in English every day, but I know that English exists in my sub-conscious and it helps me to understand and to communicate effectively.

5. I feel like a better person now because I can do more with English.

6. I know that I don’t need to learn everything in one go. I’m becoming a good speaker of English every day, bit by bit, step by step.

7. English gives me the freedom to become a different person when I use it.

8. I love to really listen and investigate the English that I hear. When I study something in English, I feel like a detective solving a puzzle.

9. Because it’s a mental challenge, learning English is a really good way for me to keep my brain fresh and young.

10. English gives me an opportunity to take risks, and I know that when I take risks I learn more quickly.

11. English is frustrating sometimes, but I enjoy the challenge. And what is life if it isn’t a challenge?

12. I like to ask questions because if I don’t ask, I don’t learn.

13. I don’t just need English. I’ve learned that I want English too.

14. We’re all individuals, and we have our own unique ways of learning English. I like discovering my own particular learning strategies and then using them.

15. I am a bit embarrassed by my mistakes sometimes, but I see them as a great opportunity to learn.

16. I like learning English with others, because it makes me feel like I’m part of a group of people who are sharing the same experience as me.

17. I love the variety, colour and history of the English language. It’s amazing to see how people in history have used it for so many things, and when I use English I become part of that long tradition.

18. Speaking English is a physical action. I don’t just use my mouth to do it, I use my whole body.

19. The culture of the English language is different to my first language. So it’s fun to think and act in a new way when I speak English.

20. English liberates me. It gives me the freedom to communicate with everyone, and connect with the whole world.

21. Oops – I missed this one! I got the numbers wrong… It should be: I know that if I had the time, I could master this language.

22. I enjoy finding out about things I love in English. I use the internet to help me to do this. I watch YouTube videos and listen to podcasts in English, for fun.

23. Sometimes English is confusing for me, but I can make sense of it if I have time.

24. The journey is the best part, not just the destination. This is true in English, but also in life.

25. Actually, I do use English well and I do communicate in English every time I use it. So, really, I’ve already started speaking English and I’ve already started communicating in English effectively.

26. I’m a brilliant, and special person because I listen to Luke’s English Podcast, and I know that Luke’s English Podcast is probably the best way of learning English in the whole world!

I realise that some of these statements are quite cheesy. Cheesy is quite a difficult word to explain. Here’s a list of explanations of what cheesy means:

-it has been said many times before and so now it sounds quite silly, boring or tiresome
-it is too sincere, and so it sounds ridiculous
-it is old fashioned, or out of date
-it is over-emotional, or sentimental

Here are some examples of things that are cheesy:
-The emotional happy endings of Hollywood films
-The predictable things that Hollywood heroes always say, like James Bond making a joke about killing a bad guy with a telephone cable, and then the telephone ringing, and Bond saying “I’m afraid he’s a little tied up at the moment”, or when Arnold Schwartznegger says “I had to let him go” after he drops a man off a building
-80s rock bands with big hair and spandex jump-suits (e.g. Van Halen)

Actually, the word ‘cheesy’ is such a big concept that I could do a whole podcast episode on it!